Love And Other Drugs

The hallway Luxe was walking down was crowded and filled with people. Cowboy hats and boots dotted the crowd and Luxe suddenly realized where she was. Robert E. Lee High School-the high school that she had graduated from. Why the fuck was she here? The last thing Luxe remembered was being on stage, not being able to breathe and then seeing Andy hovering over her.

What was happening?

Was she dead?

Was this her own personal Hell that she had been sent to because of the way she was living her life?

Luxe looked around and then stopped cold in her tracks as she recognized a young girl standing at a locker.

Blonde hair that was down by a pair of skinny shoulders that were sheathed in a dirty blue shirt that was wrinkled at the bottom. Her jeans were the cheap kind-not designer and not in style and it was obvious to Luxe that other people were noticing. The girl looked skinny-underfed and she gasped as she realized who the girl was as soon as she trained her grey eyes on the pair that matched. Luxe was looking at her seventeen year old self and she wanted to scream. People passed by her, unnoticing and it was as if Luxe was a ghost walking down her former school hallway.

Suddenly a boy, young and good looking with gelled brown hair and a letterman’s jacket over his broad shoulders, appeared at the younger Luxe’s side and the singer felt her heart stop. She remembered this day-she was seeing it now, but she remembered it as if it had happened just the day before. This had been the day when it all started, when everything for her had happened and things had been set in to motion.

The boy, with his chiseled abs and features, was leaning up against the locker beside hers and Luxe moved closer so that she could hear the conversation, even though she knew what was being said.


“So I was wondering if I could take you out some time?” The boy asked and Luxe watched as her younger self looked around, wondering if the jock was speaking to someone else.

“M-me?” She asked, pointing to her chest and Luxe smiled. She had been so shy back then, she hadn’t even realized it until now.

“Yeah you, silly.” The guy was saying and Luxe finally was able to remember his name-Todd Williams. Quarterback for the Lee Jaguars and overall high school stud.

“I-uh-sure. Yeah, that would be really cool.” Luxe said shyly as she looked up at Todd through her eyelashes and he smiled at her. His hand reached out, tucking a piece of her light blonde hair behind her ear before disappearing. The older Luxe could see his face, see the smug look on his lips and she felt like screaming.


Slowly she walked over to herself and could see the happiness that lit up her own features. This was the start of something that had almost completely ruined her life.

The scene changed before her, melting like ice cream on a hot day and Luxe felt her heart sink as she looked around. It was night time now and she was standing in the middle of a field with corn surrounding them. She knew this night and Luxe felt like crying out as she saw herself walking hand in hand with Todd. It was a field party, something that had been popular in her hometown and something that only the most popular kids were ever invited to.

Luxe could remember how excited she had been when Todd had called her and invited her out for this night. God she had spent hours trying to figure out what she was going to wear and then she had scoured her baby sitting money to try and scrape together enough to go out and buy an outfit. She had managed to get twenty bucks together and bought an outfit that made her fit in. It was a cute little sundress-it was fall but still warm enough-and she had paired it with an old pair of cowboy boots that had belonged to her mother.

Her parents didn’t even know she was out of the house-by this stage her parents weren’t even aware of what day it was and Luxe felt the tears spring to her eyes. It had been such a hard year-with everything that had happened at school and then her home life had been really shitty, it was a miracle that Luxe had made it out alive. Slowly she walked towards where her younger self and Todd were standing, listening closely to their conversation and she cringed at how stupid she was making herself sound just to impress this Neanderthal.


“So what are you going to do after graduation?” Todd was asking her, a red solo cup in one hand and her small one was clutched in the other. Luxe was looking up at him with doe eyes, her lips parted in a smile and she felt herself cringe.

“I dunno-probably hang around here for a while until I figure out what I want to do.” She said and the older Luxe only rolled her eyes heavily. She had known exactly what she wanted at that point, but she played dumb so that Todd would like her more-fucking idiot.

“That’s cool-I’ll probably be playing ball for either Duke or Tech-if I get in.” He stated and Luxe only rolled her eyes. Todd Williams ended up working for her father and was now spending ten years of his life in the state prison for drug trafficking and selling.

“That would be so amazing Todd!” She giggled then, tossing her hair back behind her head and Luxe felt like she was going to be sick.


She hadn’t known it then, but all of the people at this party were laughing at her behind their drink cups. She didn’t belong here-she didn’t belong in their world, but she had been too stupid and willing to fit in to pay any attention to that. As Luxe walked away from her younger self and shook her head, she knew what was coming next and she couldn’t help but let a tear fall from her eyes and roll down her cheek as the scene changed before her.


“Oh God! Fuck Lucinda…” Todd moaned and Luxe felt her stomach turn as she looked at her surroundings.

She was standing in the grass of the football field, the long blades itching her skin as she looked at the area before her. Young Lucinda was on her knees, her blonde hair down around her shoulders and her hands were holding on to Todd’s thighs as she bobbed her face back and forth, his hard penis in her mouth. He had his hands on the back of her head, his own thrown back as a sigh escaped his lips and suddenly he groaned and she moved away from him, a smirk on her lips as she rose. They embraced, her chest heaving as Todd licked her lips and let his hands run up and down her body. She was wearing a tight tank top and her only pair of nice jeans.

Luxe remembered this moment and the events leading up to it and she felt ashamed as she watched herself strip down to her underwear and smile at Todd. They had been dating for a month, he had asked her to the Homecoming dance and they had gone out this night, drinking in the back of his pickup until they decided to head over to the high school. Now her younger self was laying on her back, her legs in the air as Todd worked her over with his tongue and Luxe could even feel it now-a few years later, how good it had felt to be with someone like that.

How good it had felt to lose her virginity to the most popular guy in school.


“Mmm…I’m gonna fuck you so good babe.” Todd said, his voice thick as he moved up her body and Luxe groaned as she looked down at herself. She looked absurd laying there in the grass, her hair spread out around her as the blonde mixed with the painted green grass that Todd would be running on the following evening.

“Oh god Todd…fuck me…” She moaned loudly and then gasped as he entered her for the first time and her innocence was instantly lost. Luxe felt her stomach turn and she wanted to puke, but she couldn’t take her eyes off of the situation before her.


She had been so fucking stupid back then-so trusting and so innocent when it came to other people. Todd had her on her back, fucking away as the crickets chirped all around them. At the time it had been romantic, but now as Luxe looked down at herself laying there in the grass, she felt ashamed of herself and she felt like she should have known better. It was the night before the big homecoming game and then the dance and Todd had begged her to give in.

Finally she had and as the moaning grew until finally it turned in to loud screams of passion, Luxe turned her back on herself, disgusted and disappointed. The red blinking light that hovered over the couple wasn’t a shock to Luxe and she could only shake her head as she thought about what happened next.


The dance was beautiful, at least to her seventeen year old self it had been. But as Luxe walked around the gym and took in all of the red and black balloons with the paper table cloths, it just looked cheap and pathetic. Kids were dancing all around her, bumping and grinding to the beat and Luxe grimaced as she spotted herself. She was in a pretty light blue dress, her hair up and curly with some small tendrils hanging down around her face. Her eyes were smokey, the grey color popping and she was smiling and laughing as she danced with Todd.

This night had been the night of her life, Todd had showed up in a limo, all smiles as he had just won the big game and was probably on his way to Duke because of it. Luxe remembered being happy as they sat at the local bistro, laughing and joking about the previous nights events and she had felt a glow grace her skin as she recalled the loss of her virginity.

Suddenly the crowd stopped dancing as the music faded and Grace Mathers, head cheerleader and the most popular girl in school, took the stage and was all smiles.


“It’s time to announce our Homecoming King and Queen everyone!” She called out, her face pulled in to a smile and Luxe felt her stomach twist. She could see herself, holding on to Todd as he smiled and cheered with the rest of the Football team.

“Alright! Our Homecoming King for the year is-Todd Williams!” The room erupted as Todd bent down, kissing Lucinda on the cheek before he made his way to the stage. His perfect hair was then covered by a plastic crown and he blew a kiss down in to the crowd towards Lucinda.

“And our Homecoming Queen is-Lucinda Abernathy!” Everyone cheered and Luxe knew that in that moment she had been the happiest she had ever been in her life. Here was this trailerpark girl, unpopular and with few friends and now she was walking on to the stage to receive a crown she never would have imagined she would get.


Luxe closed her eyes once she saw herself get up on that stage and the crown was then placed on top of her head. Suddenly something came on over the PA system and Luxe opened her eyes and saw what other’s were seeing and she felt sick to her stomach. A video was playing right behind Lucinda and Luxe cried out as she saw her younger self on her back in the grass of the football field with Todd between her legs. Her moaning and purring could be heard over the PA system and the laughter coming from her classmates erupted.

Lucinda cried while she stood there, looking over to Todd, who had Grace hanging off of him and then they kissed. This had all been an elaborate joke to ruin her life and as Lucinda ran off the stage, tripping over her sparkly blue dress, she knew that her entire life was ruined.

Luxe knew that from that moment on she had been called the school slut and it haunted her until finally she left town and started her life over. This was the reason why she couldn’t give in to love…this moment had ruined everything within her that believed that true love was possible.

This was the night her innocent seventeen year old self had died inside and she would never, ever forget it.

Notes

Now you know...now it makes sense why Luxe is so hesitant to trust Andy. This is why Luxe didn't want to tell the girls about her and Andy pretending...because pretending only gets you hurt in the end. This is why Luxe hates Andy so much, because he makes her feel things that she's tried so hard to forget.

Hope you guys have a fab New Year<3

Review<3