Love And Other Drugs

The guitars coming out of speaker were low and sad sounding, but Luxe could feel it in her soul that this song was going to be one of Andy's best. She couldn't help but think back on the past two years, trying to remember what life had been like before the chaos had set it. She had been a simple waitress, someone who hated her job, but needed it to survive. Luxe would go to work, go home to her tiny room and study as hard as she could.

Then that fateful night when Alex had walked in to that diner and heard Luxe singing along with the Juke Box...it had changed everything. Suddenly the room was filled with Andy's voice and Luxe slowly closed her eyes and tried to focus on his words.


Heaven's gone, the battle's won
I had to say goodbye
Lived and learned from every fable
Written by your mind
And I wonder how to move on
From all I had inside
Place my cards upon the table
In blood I draw the line
I've given all my pride

Luxe felt her breath leave her chest as the first few lines of the song seemed to creep in to her brain like ivy. She had battled her addictions for a very long time, almost losing to them and then the hard part had come-moving away from that era of her life. The cards that she had been dealt had been a shitty hand and yet somehow she had been able to trade those cards in for new ones...for ones that would improve her life immensely.

Andy had been a huge influence on her sobriety and as Luxe sat there beside him, she knew she owed this man her sanity and her life. He had pulled her up and even though he was absent through most of her treatment, he had still been there in the back of her mind, rooting her on in his own way. Luxe tried to steady her breathing as the song continued on.


Living a life of misery
Always there, just underneath
Haunting me, quietly alone
It’s killing me, killing me
Dead and gone, what's done is done
You were all I had become
I'm letting go of what I once believed
So goodbye agony

There was no stopping her tears now as the obvious chorus of the song seemed to punch Luxe in the gut. She knew, now more than ever, that this song had been written with her in mind. Her addictions would always haunt her-they had changed her life and she knew that she could never go back to the way she used to be. Char and Pixie could go out, have a few drinks, go home and be fine, but not Luxe. Luxe had to toe the line every single day and there were days where she just wanted to give up and give in.

The recording process had been especially hard-not that it hadn't been fun, but there were always stressful moments during the entire ordeal. There had been one day in particular when Luxe felt like she couldn't get the song right. It had been the day they had recorded Let Me Down, the song written for her father and Luxe couldn't seem to get the emotion down.

Jimmy had wanted her to be angry, screaming mad and yet all Luxe could seem to do was cry. It had been emotional and she had been tempted to run out to the nearest street corner and find a fix for her problems.

Luxe had been able to resist though and by the tenth take her voice was gritty, angry and filled with so much emotion she had cried the rest of the night.


I watch the stars and setting suns
As the years are passing by
I never knew that hope was fatal
Until I looked it in the eye
And now I'm not sure I am able
To reach the other side
Casting out the light

Luxe finally felt like she was able to breathe and as she opened her eyes, she noticed that Andy was staring at her. His smile was kind, soft and filled with love and support. He truly cared about her and now Luxe didn't know what she had been thinking a few weeks ago. Andy did love her, very much, he was just terrible at showing it. He squeezed her hand tightly as the song continued and Luxe knew that everything would be okay.


Living a life of misery
Always there, just underneath
Haunting me, quietly alone
It’s killing me, killing me
Dead and gone, what's done is done
You were all I had become
I'm letting go of what I once believed
So goodbye agony
Goodbye agony

As the song seemed to come to an end, Luxe felt all of emotions come to a head. She felt relieve, but there was also a sense of sorrow and depression underneath everything. How much time had she wasted on drugs and alcohol? Where would her career be right now if she had been less concerned with getting the next high and more concerned with making the band more successful. That terrible second album was enough proof for her that people on drugs shouldn't be left to make music.

The song came to an end and the room seemed to be spinning as Luxe got up quickly, excusing herself as she rushed from the room and tried to find a corner to hide behind. She couldn't face them-Luxe absolutely refused to sit in that room and face the five guys who had always been there for her, even when she pushed them away or slapped them across the face.

That song had hit her hard and Luxe knew that she had made a lot of mistakes in her life and she would always have to make amends for those mistakes.


"Luxe?" Someone called out to her and Luxe tried to press herself against the wall as much as she could to try and stay out of sight. She knew it was Andy-he always seemed to come running after her when he thought she was about to do something she would regret.

"Luce are you out here?" Andy called again, his voice growing closer. Luxe stayed silent, but soon enough Andy had rounded the corner she was hiding behind and his arms were wrapping around her shaking frame.

"Hey...calm down babe." He said sweetly to her, his cheek coming to rest on the top of her head as he held on to her tightly. Andy knew that that particular song was going to be hard for Luxe to hear, but he also knew that it was something she needed to hear to hopefully put her past behind her once and for all.

"I-I..." She tried to speak, but her words seemed to melt as they left her mouth and Luxe knew that it was going to take her a bit to fully calm down.

"Don't. I love you Luce and I know it hurts...but you needed that song. We both did." Andy said as the two of them stood there.

He should get back in to the studio and finish finalizing everything, but holding Luxe in her time of need seemed more important. Luxe was everything to him and Andy knew that if he didn't make her feel that way that he was going to lose her...one way or another.

Notes

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