If you’re a freak like me,
Wave your flag!
If you’re a freak like me,
Get off your ass!
It’s our time now,
To let it all hang out

Luxe was in the booth, her ears covered in large black headphones as the guitar, bass and drums that the girls had all tracked played back at her. Finally they had tracked a song-done with the writing process and it was Luxe's turn. She would track her vocals, then the girls would come in and track their gang vocals, Jimmy would do the mixing and then the song would be done. They were doing something different this time-tracking one song at a time instead of going instrument by instrument and Luxe found that she liked it better that way.

The first album that girls just all got in there and played, sometimes at the same time and sometimes separate. The second album they were all kept by themselves, with Luxe going last and often being in the studio completely alone. Jimmy refused to track anything if any of the girls weren't there, which was a good thing and a bad thing. Pixie had gotten a terrible case of food poisoning a few days before, but Jimmy wouldn't let her get out of it.


"Just come in and lay on the couch-we'll track drums and bass first love." He told her over the phone and Luxe had heard the small girl groaning from the other end.


But in under an hour Pixie, dressed still in her sweats with her hood pulled over her face, came shuffling in to the room. She stayed on the couch the entire day, a small trash can near her just in case as Lulu and Mads did their tracking. Luxe smiled to herself as the memory flashed across her mind and then her eyes focused on her bandmates. They were all sitting in the next room, watching her through the large glass window. Luxe stuck her tongue out, smirking while she waited for Jimmy to reset the track.

Char was seated closest to her and the purple haired guitarist was now throwing M&M's at the glass window and watching as they pinged off. Mads and Lulu were facing away from her and Luxe noticed that Pixie was seated beside Char with her nose in her phone. Luxe only smiled, shaking her head as she reached up and readjusted her headphones. The intro to the song played in her ears and then Luxe opened her mouth to jump in with her part.


I’m on the train that’s pullin the sick and twisted,
Makin the most of the ride before we get arrested,
We’re all wasted,
And we’re not going home tonight.


Luxe was really digging this song-it was one they had recently written and all decided to track first because it set the tone for their album. Very akin to the first Dolls album, Freak Like Me spoke out to those in their fanbase who felt alone or like they would never fit in. Luxe actually written it after receiving a letter from a fan, telling her how much the singer meant to her and had helped her. Luxe saw herself as a leader of a pack of freaks and she wanted to write this song to let her freak family know that she was there for them.

The current album, which the girls had yet to name, was leaning more towards a late 70's rock/early 80's hair band feel and the girls were very happy with it so far. Gone are the days of teased hair, heavy makeup and absurd stage clothes. Now the girls were more natural-leather jackets, t-shirts, ripped jeans and boots-that was their look and it probably should of been all along. Of course some fans weren't happy with them for changing-they'd been called sellouts a few times-but the girls just kept doing what they wanted and tried not to let it affect them.


We’re underground but we will not surrender,
We’re gonna give them something to remember, yeah,
So write your name in gasoline,
And set that shit on fire


Luxe could feel the anger-the passion-rising up in her throat as she sang and she knew that wasn't just singing for her or for Char, Pixie, Lulu and Mads...she was singing for their fans. The ones who had been there for them-through thick and through thin. The ones who bought the second album, hated it, but still showed up at the supporting shows anyways. The fans who stood out in the cold, for hours at a time, just to get a front row spot or to meet them after a concert.

It was those fans that Luxe was singing for and it would those fans that would always mean the most to her. After running through the chorus one last time, Luxe removed her headphones and signaled to Jimmy that she needed a break. Her throat was raw from growling and singing and she really wanted some of the herbal tea that Andy had suggested for her. At the moment he was across town with the guys, working on his own record and Luxe was happy for him.

But she missed him like crazy.


"You were killing it in there love. I really think with one more take we can get the girls in there for gangs." Jimmy said as she opened the door and Luxe gave herself a mental pat on the back. She always doubted herself when she was in the booth, so it was nice to hear that she was on the right track.

"Thanks. Yeah, I could feel my throat getting all scratchy." Luxe said and then smiled as she Char tossed a bottle of cold water towards her. Luxe snapped the cap open and took a seat at Char and Pixie's feet.

"Well since Luxe is on a break-I'm going out for a smoke." Mads said as she stood up and stretched her tattooed arms over her head. The drummer-fresh out of rehab for the third time-had taken up smoking, but it was keeping her sober and that's all Luxe cared about.

"I'll come with. I need to call Zack anyways." Lulu said as she popped out of her seat and soon enough the bassist and drummer left the room.


Jimmy was busy mixing the vocals she just laid down and Luxe groaned in happiness as Pixie's nimble fingers kneaded at her sore shoulders. Luxe had tendency to tense up while she was in the booth and Pixie rubbing her back was exactly what she needed at the moment. Things were going really well for the girls-they were getting along better than ever, the album was sounding good so far and in two days they would be sitting down with their merch team to discuss the look of the t-shirts, sweatshirts and other merch that would be sold on the supporting tour for this new album.

The record was due out in October and it made Luxe laugh because once again the Dolls and BVB were both dropping albums one right after the other. The guys were on their fourth-the girls on their third and it was sounding like they might have a reunion tour going on this coming fall and winter. It was exciting for Luxe to think about because she and the girls hadn't toured with BVB for almost three years-even though they had toured together on Warped, being on a tour with just the two bands was different.

Luxe missed getting up on stage every night, seeing Andy in the wings as he watched and prepared for his own set or calmed down from just being on the stage. The hanging out afterwards would be different this time since most of the girls-Char and Pixie were the hold outs-were sober now, but it would still be a good time. The girls were excited for this album and they finally saw their star rising higher than ever-they would break through the "emo/scene" barrier and finally enter the rock arena that they longed to be in.


"So the girls and were talking and we thought it would be fun to go out to a karaoke place sometime this week." Char said and Luxe turned around and looked at her bandmate. Char was still drinking-so was Pixie-and Luxe knew that maybe they didn't understand that it would be hard for someone like Mads to go out to a bar and not drink.

"Do you really think that's a good idea?" Luxe asked as she turned around, Pixie's magic fingers forgotten. Char just looked at her, smiling softly and then spoke.

"I think it would be really fun and Lulu knows a place that isn't a bar. Mads said she'd be fine." The guitarist explained and Luxe felt like a fool. Of course the girls would think of the sober situation in the group, but it was hard to think that things had changed.


Back in the beginning when Luxe had been the only one trying -and failing-to stay sober, the other girls had openly mocked and tempted her to partake in their partying ways. Mads had even gone so far as to mock Luxe to the point where she tried heroine for the first time and everything had spiraled from there. Luxe never blamed the girls for her addictions-they were a part of her that she couldn't deny or ignore-but their teasing and tempting had not helped matters.

It made Luxe happy to see that while Char and Pixie were not partaking in the group sobriety, they were being very supportive and it was a nice change.


"Oh well that sounds awesome. Maybe we should invite the guys-see if they need a break from recording." Luxe suggested and Char's smile grew. This was the Luxe she knew and loved-the fun and relaxed girl who was up for anything.

"I was thinking the same thing." Char said as she pulled out her phone and began to text someone-probably Ashley.

"So how're you and Ash doing?" Luxe said as she tried to take a peek at Char's phone. The guitarist swatted at her friend, finished her typing and then stuck her phone in one of the breast pockets of her leather jacket.

"Complicated-his usual." She said and Luxe scrunched her nose. The bassist and guitarist had been running around one another for years, but unlike Luxe and Andy neither one of them was ready to truly settle down and commit-to one another or to other people.

"That sucks." Pixie said, breaking her silence and Luxe only nodded her agreement.

This was nice-sitting around, chatting about boys, their new record and making plans together...it reminded Luxe of old times. Char had moved out of her old house-the teal stains on the shower walls had been deducted out of her deposit-and the girls were all driving better cars now, but it had been that first night together that had cemented their friendship.

As the other two girls reentered the room and they all gathered together to get in the booth, Luxe stood back and smiled as she realized that she had gotten her family back and this time she would keep them close.

Notes

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