Never Give In
Chapter 8
*Andy’s POV*
After the set, we head off stage and I go straight to the dressing room. When I get there, I grab my phone and am surprised to see a missed call from Ashley. I check the time of the call and it says it’s during our set. My mind floods with confusion and I step out of the room, calling the phone back. The phone picks up within half a ring and I hear stifled crying on the other end.
“Hello?” I ask, pondering the possibilities of who it could be.
“Andy? I… I need your help.” I hear a feminine voice beg.
Holy shit this is Crystal! Why is she crying?
“Crystal? Where are you? What’s wrong?” I urgently ask her.
“I’m on the bus… I don’t know what to do, Andy; I… I just need somebody right now.” She says, her voice shaking.
“Hold on, I’ll be right there.”
*Crystal’s POV*
Andy reassures me that he will be here soon and I hear the phone hang up. I drop the phone, unable to stop the tears from escaping my eyes. If Ashley lied about Andy’s relationship, then did he lie about hitting me too? I feel so weak. It would be fine if it was just my father hitting me, drunk again. But one of my idols, hitting me… And it’s all my fault that Andy’s relationship is in turmoil. Ashley would have never sent that text if it weren’t for the misunderstanding… Another round of sobs racks my body. I feel so broken.
I feel the urge to cut creep up on me; my body’s learned way of how it likes to deal with stress. I should feel like it’s bad, I should try to reject it, but it always tames my emotions… Until I’m numb. I try to stand up, ignoring my drowsiness from being sick, and look around the bus for my backpack.
I don’t hesitate grabbing my backpack when I find it next to the kitchen table in the front part of the bus. I set it on top of the table and yank open the second zipper. Fuck, I dropped my old blade outside of the venue last time. I reach into the pocket and find my Altoids tin, pulling it out. I set the tin down on the table so I can unwrap the bandages from when the medic wrapped my forearms up. When the bandages are off I tug off my bracelets, throwing them on the table. I grab the tin and open it up, turning it over so the blade falls into my hand. Do I really want to do this? This blade hasn’t been used at all yet, so it’s sharper than my old one. Despite my contradicting thoughts,I drop the Altoids tin and grab the blade out of my palm. Holding the blade between my thumb and index finger, I near it to my wrist. Before I leave a mark on my arm the blade leaves my hand. I stand confused for a moment, looking for the blade until I look up to see Andy with a mix of confusion and despair covering his face. How long has he been here? Oh my god. I look down to see the blade on the floor; Andy must have grabbed it out of my hand.
“Are you okay? What’s wrong? What happened? Are you hurt? Please, say something.” He asks me anxiously, pulling me into a hug. He caresses me in his arms as I wipe away the tears in my eyes.
“I’m fine, I…” I look at the mess I’ve created around me, questioning what I’ve done to myself, “…I was on Ashley’s phone and I saw… He had texted Juliet that you were sleeping with another girl.” Andy releases me from his arms and holds my hands in his, nodding. Of course, he already knows this. That’s why he got mad at Ashley. But it’s really my fault.
“But why… this?” Andy asks, looking at my unwrapped bandages and the blade on the floor, concern filling his expression.
“I’m sorry,” I catch him off guard by apologizing for it, “It’s because I asked Ashley why you were so upset, and he said that he had nothing to do with it… And I thought… If Ashley lied about something this important… He probably lied when he told me that he didn’t hit me the night that I passed out, even though I think he did.” I explain, looking down at my hands. I’m such an idiot… Why did I think that he would care enough for me to tell me the truth? I’m worthless to him. I purposefully avoid eye contact with Andy in fear of what I might see in his eyes. Why isn’t Andy mad at me for his breakup? Doesn’t he know it’s my fault? It’s my fault that everybody had this misunderstanding…
“Ashley hit you?” Andy shouts, clearly upset. I try to hide my fresh tears behind my hair that’s covering my face, but he lets go of my hands and lifts my chin up with his thumb and forefinger so that I’m forced to look at him.
“I… Um…” I mutter as I lose myself in the emotion I see in Andy’s eyes. Does he care about me? Wait, no. Of course he doesn’t care about me. I ruined his relationship with Juliet. He is just being friendly.
“Meet me in the back of the bus.” He demands, his tone conveying his anger. He lets go of me and I stumble towards the back of the bus, running through what just happened in my mind. He scares me, but in a comforting way. I fall on the couch, letting myself curl up into some blankets.
*Andy’s POV*
Once I clean up the front room and calm down, I walk into the back with Crystal’s backpack. I set it down near the couch and sit down next to Crystal. She cutely cuddles into my side and tries to cover my lap with a couple blankets that she is tangled up in. I wrap my arm around her waist and can’t help but to think about how cute she is as she tries to fall asleep in my lap. I’m just lucky I could be here for her before she hurt herself this time.
*Ashley’s POV*
I walk onto the bus; I’m still wondering where in the Hell Andy went after our set. I shut the door behind me and walk past Jake and CC at the table playing poker. I greet Jinxx as I walk to the ice box and grab the Jack out of it.
“Where is the sandwich I left in here?” He asks, digging through the fridge.
“I think I saw C.C. eating it before the show. Could you pass me a Coke?” Jinxx tosses me a Coke and walks over to C.C., making a big deal out of the sandwich. I set the Jack and Coke down on the counter and grab a plastic red cup from the stack we have next to the fridge. I turn to Jinxx and interrupt the bout he is having with C.C. over whose sandwich it was to ask, “Have you checked on Crystal at all? To make sure she’s alright?”
“No, I just got on the bus like, five minutes ago. Have you?” Jinxx asks C.C. and Jake. I set down the red cup and crack open the can of Coke.
“We were playing poker since we got back.” Jake answers for the both of them.
“Alright.” I sigh, setting my Coke down and walking to the back of the bus to check on Crystal. I wonder how she’s doing. I push the curtain back to see Crystal curled up in Andy’s lap, both of them asleep. I tighten my hand into a fist, my nails digging into my skin until my palm is bleeding. Why in the fuck is he sleeping with her? I run my other hand through my hair and exhale a breath I didn’t realize I was holding. I think twice before I go up to them and wake him up. She probably fucked him, that slut. I thought she was different.
I walk back to the front of the bus to finish mixing my drink, skimming the bottom of the cup with Coke. I fill the rest up with Jack and sit down on one of the couches. Shit and I thought she was special. Fuck this. I stand up and earn some surprised looks from Jake, Jinxx and C.C. as I walk off the bus. I feel a burning in my heart that I’ve never felt before… What is this?
After the set, we head off stage and I go straight to the dressing room. When I get there, I grab my phone and am surprised to see a missed call from Ashley. I check the time of the call and it says it’s during our set. My mind floods with confusion and I step out of the room, calling the phone back. The phone picks up within half a ring and I hear stifled crying on the other end.
“Hello?” I ask, pondering the possibilities of who it could be.
“Andy? I… I need your help.” I hear a feminine voice beg.
Holy shit this is Crystal! Why is she crying?
“Crystal? Where are you? What’s wrong?” I urgently ask her.
“I’m on the bus… I don’t know what to do, Andy; I… I just need somebody right now.” She says, her voice shaking.
“Hold on, I’ll be right there.”
*Crystal’s POV*
Andy reassures me that he will be here soon and I hear the phone hang up. I drop the phone, unable to stop the tears from escaping my eyes. If Ashley lied about Andy’s relationship, then did he lie about hitting me too? I feel so weak. It would be fine if it was just my father hitting me, drunk again. But one of my idols, hitting me… And it’s all my fault that Andy’s relationship is in turmoil. Ashley would have never sent that text if it weren’t for the misunderstanding… Another round of sobs racks my body. I feel so broken.
I feel the urge to cut creep up on me; my body’s learned way of how it likes to deal with stress. I should feel like it’s bad, I should try to reject it, but it always tames my emotions… Until I’m numb. I try to stand up, ignoring my drowsiness from being sick, and look around the bus for my backpack.
I don’t hesitate grabbing my backpack when I find it next to the kitchen table in the front part of the bus. I set it on top of the table and yank open the second zipper. Fuck, I dropped my old blade outside of the venue last time. I reach into the pocket and find my Altoids tin, pulling it out. I set the tin down on the table so I can unwrap the bandages from when the medic wrapped my forearms up. When the bandages are off I tug off my bracelets, throwing them on the table. I grab the tin and open it up, turning it over so the blade falls into my hand. Do I really want to do this? This blade hasn’t been used at all yet, so it’s sharper than my old one. Despite my contradicting thoughts,I drop the Altoids tin and grab the blade out of my palm. Holding the blade between my thumb and index finger, I near it to my wrist. Before I leave a mark on my arm the blade leaves my hand. I stand confused for a moment, looking for the blade until I look up to see Andy with a mix of confusion and despair covering his face. How long has he been here? Oh my god. I look down to see the blade on the floor; Andy must have grabbed it out of my hand.
“Are you okay? What’s wrong? What happened? Are you hurt? Please, say something.” He asks me anxiously, pulling me into a hug. He caresses me in his arms as I wipe away the tears in my eyes.
“I’m fine, I…” I look at the mess I’ve created around me, questioning what I’ve done to myself, “…I was on Ashley’s phone and I saw… He had texted Juliet that you were sleeping with another girl.” Andy releases me from his arms and holds my hands in his, nodding. Of course, he already knows this. That’s why he got mad at Ashley. But it’s really my fault.
“But why… this?” Andy asks, looking at my unwrapped bandages and the blade on the floor, concern filling his expression.
“I’m sorry,” I catch him off guard by apologizing for it, “It’s because I asked Ashley why you were so upset, and he said that he had nothing to do with it… And I thought… If Ashley lied about something this important… He probably lied when he told me that he didn’t hit me the night that I passed out, even though I think he did.” I explain, looking down at my hands. I’m such an idiot… Why did I think that he would care enough for me to tell me the truth? I’m worthless to him. I purposefully avoid eye contact with Andy in fear of what I might see in his eyes. Why isn’t Andy mad at me for his breakup? Doesn’t he know it’s my fault? It’s my fault that everybody had this misunderstanding…
“Ashley hit you?” Andy shouts, clearly upset. I try to hide my fresh tears behind my hair that’s covering my face, but he lets go of my hands and lifts my chin up with his thumb and forefinger so that I’m forced to look at him.
“I… Um…” I mutter as I lose myself in the emotion I see in Andy’s eyes. Does he care about me? Wait, no. Of course he doesn’t care about me. I ruined his relationship with Juliet. He is just being friendly.
“Meet me in the back of the bus.” He demands, his tone conveying his anger. He lets go of me and I stumble towards the back of the bus, running through what just happened in my mind. He scares me, but in a comforting way. I fall on the couch, letting myself curl up into some blankets.
*Andy’s POV*
Once I clean up the front room and calm down, I walk into the back with Crystal’s backpack. I set it down near the couch and sit down next to Crystal. She cutely cuddles into my side and tries to cover my lap with a couple blankets that she is tangled up in. I wrap my arm around her waist and can’t help but to think about how cute she is as she tries to fall asleep in my lap. I’m just lucky I could be here for her before she hurt herself this time.
*Ashley’s POV*
I walk onto the bus; I’m still wondering where in the Hell Andy went after our set. I shut the door behind me and walk past Jake and CC at the table playing poker. I greet Jinxx as I walk to the ice box and grab the Jack out of it.
“Where is the sandwich I left in here?” He asks, digging through the fridge.
“I think I saw C.C. eating it before the show. Could you pass me a Coke?” Jinxx tosses me a Coke and walks over to C.C., making a big deal out of the sandwich. I set the Jack and Coke down on the counter and grab a plastic red cup from the stack we have next to the fridge. I turn to Jinxx and interrupt the bout he is having with C.C. over whose sandwich it was to ask, “Have you checked on Crystal at all? To make sure she’s alright?”
“No, I just got on the bus like, five minutes ago. Have you?” Jinxx asks C.C. and Jake. I set down the red cup and crack open the can of Coke.
“We were playing poker since we got back.” Jake answers for the both of them.
“Alright.” I sigh, setting my Coke down and walking to the back of the bus to check on Crystal. I wonder how she’s doing. I push the curtain back to see Crystal curled up in Andy’s lap, both of them asleep. I tighten my hand into a fist, my nails digging into my skin until my palm is bleeding. Why in the fuck is he sleeping with her? I run my other hand through my hair and exhale a breath I didn’t realize I was holding. I think twice before I go up to them and wake him up. She probably fucked him, that slut. I thought she was different.
I walk back to the front of the bus to finish mixing my drink, skimming the bottom of the cup with Coke. I fill the rest up with Jack and sit down on one of the couches. Shit and I thought she was special. Fuck this. I stand up and earn some surprised looks from Jake, Jinxx and C.C. as I walk off the bus. I feel a burning in my heart that I’ve never felt before… What is this?
Notes
I'm so so so sorry for not updating. I was busy making some critical decisions for this story. I really hope you like this chapter, I am going to be trying to post more regularly from now on. Also, I've started another story, and although it is very different from this story, I think you guys will enjoy it. Go check it out! It's called Smoke and Mirrors. By the way thanks for your support :) I love you guys! <3 Make sure to comment, rate and subscribe for more.
@queen-of-broken-hearts
lol I appreciate your support :) I'm working on the next chapter still but I really enjoy releasing chapters, so I'm aiming for soon as to when the next chapter will be out haha.
hope you enjoy ^^
9/8/14