For Children of Sands

Give me life, give me love
Scarlet angel from above
Not so low, not so high
Keep it perfectly disguised

Every changing the storyline that keeps me alive
My Mona Lisa’s making me smile
Right before my eyes!

A hum of voices and sweet laughter rose through the evening light hazed bar. Streams of cigarette smoke seeped through doorways like a thick morning mist and stained the white ceilings, the smell of alcohol and musk swept through the cooling air. Even as the closure of the day drew closer the clicking of the waitresses’ heels and the ringing of over-polished glasses never seemed to seize.

That was how Andy painted the abandoned bar in his mind on its liveliest days, he could feel the press of the other bodies, taste the alcohol and smoke and hear the conversation noise with the backdrop of gentle music.

He laid on the bar countertop and stared up at the ceiling from which layers of paint peeled away and fell like dead autumn leaves. The only sign of movement was the lone stream of smoke seeping from the stub of a cigarette resting between his lips.

The gang had driven to the edge of Colorado and were tipping over towards Kansas. The entire trip through the state seemed uneventful and surprisingly dull, even the idiotic games that they played amidst the swarms of the undead didn’t seem to brighten the journey. Speaking of the games; one of the most popular was improvising the most creative way of ‘slaying’ a parasite while scrambling away from the very thing. Another consisted of seeing how close can you approach a parasite without being noticed. There were many others too but they didn’t have any fixed rules of aims, they were simply called “Being a Fucking Idiot”.

Before entering Kansas the gang decided to spend the night in a small town, somewhere with a roof over their head and a lock on the door. The perfect place just so happened to be a bar; it came with a set of fully functioning locks, and flat on the second floor with four bedrooms and, as an added bonus, a full stock of alcohol.

Perfect.

After several hours of souring their guts with alcohol and discovering a piano and guitar, the gang retreated upstairs leaving behind mostly sober Ash and Andy. Despite the provocative gazes that Ash had been sending Andy and the ‘knowing’ glances that had been sent in their direction, the rest of the evening for the sober-tired-as-fuck team consisted of lying on tables and glaring at nothing in particular.

As nostalgic and desperate it seemed, Andy continued to replay tapes of his past in his mind, the memories were like morphine, they even seemed to dull the spikes of A.D.D. He replayed the short years of Los Angeles where he lived in a cramped apartment and attempted to pursue and a musical career. In short, it didn’t seem to go further than parking lots and low budget music videos.

A particular song arose in Andy’s mind, the lyrics were still there, bright as the midday sun. He just wished the words had been meant for someone else.

“Hey Ash, do you remember Scout?” Andy muttered to the crypt silent bar and threw the corpse of his cigarette onto the floor.

“‘Course I do.” Ash replied softly, “You know what happened to her?”

“Nah, probably shoved off to Canada. Didn’t keep in touch.” Andy spoke as he thumbed the head of the acoustic guitar which was propped beside the counter.

“Why are you bringing her up then?” Andy could hear the rustle of fabric as Ash rose from his sprawled resting position across one of the tables, but he didn’t hear the boots click against the floor as Ash let his legs hang over the edge.

“Back in LA, I wrote something for her, she never got to hear it though.” Ah sweet nostalgia, here you haunt these fellow soldiers. “It was a song, not much good, but I still remember the chords… and the words.” Andy uttered.

A moment of silence weaved into the still air before no more than a whisper snapped the thin thread. “Sing it for me, please?”

Without a word Andy gripped the neck of the guitar and pulled himself down onto one of the barstools, he glanced up only for a moment to catch a glimpse of Ash watching him with a vague smile.

"Since when do you know how to play?” Ash interrupted as Andy began to play the simplistic chords on the instrument.

“I got bored one day, now shuddup.” Andy replied with playful annoyance and began again. The room seemed to fall into a trance, the shadows had more volume and the haze of the flickering lights seemed to soften.

Just for a moment, Andy held his breath before he began to sing with a smile on his lips. It had been so long since he had embraced what he loved. Three years were like an eternity of rust and cobwebs that were finally scraped away.

“I open my lungs dear,
I sing this song at funerals… no rush.
These lyrics heard a thousand times, just plush.”

As those first words slipped from between his lips he felt like a child once again, prancing around his bedroom and singing to Misfits. With every syllable it felt as if he began to relearn how to use his voice all over again, but it came back so naturally.

“Baby boy you’ve held so tightly,
This pain it visits almost nightly,
Missing hotel beds, I feel your touch…

“I will await dear, a patience of eternity, my crush.
A universal still.
No rust.
No dust will ever grow on this frame,
One million years, and I will say your name.
I love you more than I can ever scream.”

His nicotine scratched voice travelled throughout the bar brought life to everything it touched. For a moment it seemed to chatter of warm voices had returned from their time worn graves. Youth had returned to the travel worn men and their scars smoothed away. Maybe nostalgia wasn’t all so scorning. For a moment they could revert to their past and forget the future, even if it meant returning to what they had once considered as the most painful years of their lives.

Maybe for a moment they could forget.

“We booked our flight those years ago
I said I loved as I left you.
Regret still haunts my hollow head
But I promised I will see you again,
Again.

"I sit here and smile dear.
I smile because I think of you and I blush.
These bleeding hollow dials… this fuss.
A fuss is made of miles and travels
When roadways are but stones and gravel.
A bleeding heart can conquer every crush.

“We booked our flight those years ago
You said you loved me as you left me.
Regrets still haunt your saddened head,
But I promised you that I will see you,”

It seemed like decades that Ash had seen Andy in such pure bliss and with every word that he sang he seemed to become younger. Though it was a shame that he could no longer tease Andy on the poor attempts of mimicking his idols; his voice had matured like a finest whiskey and burned him to the finest fibre of his body with pleasure.

“We booked our flight those years ago I said I loved you as I left you
Regret’s no longer in my head,
But I promised you and now I’m home again, again, again,
I’m home again, again, again.

“I’m home again.”

The final note travelled through the confined space with a haunting echo and with it Andy’s time sweetened voice washed away the last of the memories. With a soft smile Andy locked his gaze with Ashley’s who couldn’t hide his lopsided smirk.

“Why haven’t you written something like that for me, huh?” Ash humorously asked as his smile became more devious, “I think you are actually making me jealous.”

“I might write something,” Andy seemed to catch the tone. He gracefully slipped off the barstool and approached Ash who watched him from under the strewn veil of his black hair, “But I don’t think it would be appropriate for anyone to hear.” He slowly approached Ash with slow leisured steps, teasing Ash to the point of insanity.

“Well tone it down then, after all, everyone is going to hear it.” Ash reclined back letting his unbuttoned black shirt expose his torso and slip off his shoulders. He let Andy’s hungered eyes travel over his subtly exposed body earning the desired flinch in the steps.

Andy pressed his palms against the polished surface of the table and slid them upwards until they bracketed Ashley’s hips so the two men were forced closer together. With one smooth movement Andy pushed down Ash onto the table, as he leaned over the sprawled figure before him, he could feel one of Ashley’s legs press against his right outer thigh and slowly draw upwards towards his waist. Andy let his hands wander over the exposed expanse of Ashley’s skin letting the anticipation burn in his eyes. Ash attempted to lean up for a kiss but Andy quickly drew away only letting their lips brush together.

Only being inches apart from Ash’s scorching skin, with a shared breath Andy sang in a voice that seemed to resemble molten gold,

“Your kiss a withered rose,
Your lips have buried me,”

Andy growled the words with his alcohol burned voice as he pulled at Ash’s belt with one hand forcing Ash to arch off the table and let the other wonder up the toned muscles of Ashley’s back letting his nails scrape over the toughened skin earning something on the line between a purr and a growl.

“Hearts race the moments gone,
We shared this fantasy…”

Maybe it was just a spark of the moment, but they sang the final words together and moments later with an electric dazed gaze between them, they shared a single heated kiss.

As Andy drew back his he gazed at Ash, who was looking back with lust-glazed eyes. Ash breathlessly laughed and wrapped his arms around Andy’s neck and pulled at a handful of his hair, forcing him to expose his neck which Ash grazed with his teeth in a taunting manner. Andy wasn’t getting away that easy. He pulled Andy down and locked lips once more as he felt Andy run his hands down his body.

Andy gave in to the impulses of his body and let himself be pulled back down as he reached for Ash’s belt again trying to pull it off this time.

In the midst of their lust-fuelled heat they missed the soft footsteps that were padding softly down the stairs, disturbing the carpeting of dust, and continued into the softly lit bar heading behind the counter.

“Shit! Christ guys, there’s a fucking room upstairs.” The intruder exclaimed as he spotted the entwined men.

Andy immediately pulled off Ash, his face bright red which he attempted to hide while Ashley sat up on the polished table completely shameless with a pleased smile on his kiss flushed lips.

“Jinxx. Don’t.” Ash said menacingly, his tone becoming the complete polar opposite of what it had been.

“Oh, c’mon! You can’t just go fuck upstairs can you? No! You have to fuck down here where everyone comes down to get a drink. Logic!” He ranted at them. “We all know that you two fuck but we do not need to see it.” He finished. It was the most that they had ever heard Jinxx speak.

“One: we don’t fuck… or erm… not yet.” Ash started with a devious look in Andy’s direction causing Andy’s blush to flare even worse. “Two: you don’t seem to have a problem with Jake and CC.” Ash finished.

“Well, Jake and CC don’t parade it around in front of everyone. That save it for behind closed doors.”

“Well, I’m an exhibitionist and I like to have it all on show.” Ash grinned widely.

Jinxx just shook his head and walked back up the stairs to his luxurious room where hopefully he would not be disturbed by the midnight activities.

As the foot steps died away in the distance Ash grinned at Andy and laughed when he saw Andy’s pale face overrun by a fierce blush - he looked like a flustered teenager. Ash gripped Andy's waist and pulled him closer kissing him passionately. They were rendered completely breathless and felt like devious teenagers in the spike of youth. With a panting laugh they drew apart, but the blazing heat was not yet gone.

Notes