Ashleigh baby, you make me feel so alive
Chapter One - Shadows Fall On Yesterday
"Ashleigh!" A hand waved in front of my face and my vision focused on my brother Andy. "You zoned out for a minute what were you thinking about?"
I smiled "just the day I met you and the guys."
He grinned, "I love you sis!" He wrapped me in a bear hug.
"Love you too Andy!" My voice was muffled against his torso and I squeezed tighter.
***flash back***
The family court took quicker than I had imagined and I was leaving with Amy and Chris. My new mum and dad. It felt strange at first because even though they had said that I don't have to call them it I felt like I needed to because they had gone to so much trouble to get me. Before I knew it I was in dads car driving through the streets of cincinnati in Ohio. I had never even been out of england until now and I knew I wouldn't go back, unless I went on holiday. Of course. We pulled up on a posh estate (they call them suburbs right!?) And parked in a garage that had an electric door. All of a sudden I felt like I was in doctor who or something! The council estate I lived on had garages but they were full of teenagers doing pot and the doors usually would only open if you used violence! The house was huge for just four people!!!! I mean I know that Andy has a flat in los Angeles with his girlfriend but even for three people it was mahoosive!!! Dad helped with my luggage and mum clicked the door open and beckoned me in. I froze to the spot (something I do quite often I now notice). I have a home, no screaming kids, no annoying staff asking me if I am having suicidal thoughts because I dressed weird, no loneliness when I see a child walking with its mum or dad. Because I have one too. I smiled to myself. I have a mum. I have a dad.
Tears pricked my eyes and I was ripped from my thoughts when a hand fell on my shoulder. "You don't think she does what Andrew does do you?" Mum asked with a worrying look.
Dad shrugged "so what if she unexpectedly zones out every now and then. Just makes her more of a biersack!" I grinned and looked up at dad he grinned back and let me walk in front of him as I entered my new home. I immediately grabbed as many of my bags as I could and followed mum with the rest of my bags upstairs. Leading me up to my new bedroom, a room for just me. No one to run in as I was hitting rock bottom and needed the space, no more staff knocking on my door constantly to see if I was cutting. Peace. At last. She opened a door that was painted bright white.
"You can decorate your room tomorrow Ashleigh, Andy and his friends are coming round so you will have a bit of muscle to help you." She huffed as she put my cases down in the middle of the room. My ears pricked up, muscle? Oooh I haven't seen muscle before. Apart from the abs I saw in twilight but taylor lautner didn't really do it for me. His hair was too short.
"Thanks mum." I dumped my cases down and hugged her. Soon after I felt dad join in. This was my dream, a moment like this. Were we all just hug, something so simple. Four months ago this seemed like a hopeless dream. Dad pulled away and mum partially peeled away but rested her hand on my neck and stroked my spider web tattoo.
"Why leelee?" She asked.
I did a somersault in my head. I had a nickname from my mummy!!!!
I swallowed, "each one has a story, they mean a lot to me." I thought about all 82 tattoos I had and realised I would be getting two more (mum and dad tattoos).
She smiled, "I can't wait to hear each story!" For every word she said she tapped on a different tattoo then finished by kissing the star tattoo next to my right eye.
I smiled as they said goodnight and left, my walls were blank and made me uneasy. I wouldn't be able to sleep with plain white walls so I dug out my pencil case and started to draw things on the wall to keep me busy. I know I should have been sleeping but I can't sleep in a room with plain white walls. It reminds me of the attic my birth-mother locked me in. So I just drew. Just as I had finished the last bit of wall in my room there was a knock on my door.
A muffled voice travelled through it, "Ashleigh. Andy and his friends are here to see you can you wake up please?"
I opened the door and smiled at dad, "is it really the next day!?" Dad stared in shock at the walls and then at me. I prepared myself for a clip round the earhole but nothing came.
"Ashleigh did you stay up all night?"
I nodded, "I can't sleep in a white room because of bad memories. So I drew on them to keep me busy. Please don't be mad! I can rub it off if you want!"
He laughed, "nonsense. I am shocked that's all. I can't believe how good you are at drawing!!! Its lucky the boys are her to help you paint it today. Get changed sweetie!" He smiled and kissed the star on my face then strolled downstairs. My mouth gaped open. Why didn't he tell me off? What the fuck is happening!? I walked into my ensuite and showered quickly. I wrapped the towel around my body when I finished and dryed my hair, changing into my blue skinny's with black stars on and my batman top before pulling on my asking alexandria jacket. I did my make up in record time and did my hair just as quickly. I slipped my amazing cowboy boots and clipped a green bow with black stars on into my hair and jogged down stairs. Sat on the sofas in the living room was black veil brides, I know that I should have gotten over it ages ago but I was starstruck. They were my favourite band! And the lead singer was my brother!
Andy jumped up and hugged me, swinging me like a giant would. "I can't believe I have a sister! A rock chick sister!"
Mum turned to me as andy put me down, "leelee, did you really draw all night?"
I nodded suddenly realising how tired I was, "I told dad I was sorry about the walls but I don't like plain white walls."
She nodded, "honey I don't mind! I am just worried because you haven't slept since you were in England!" I yawned at the thought of sleep and sighed, "I know but you said there would be decorating to do."
Jake nodded, "yeah. We brought paint!" He gestured to the pile of boxes beside me.
"How much paint are we using!?" I asked in shock.
CC laughed, "we would rather have leftover paint than run out halfway through! Plus we are only painting today. Tomorrow we are taking you to the main city and shopping for your room."
My jaw dropped, "you don't have to take me shopping. Helping me paint is enough in itself, honestly!"
Andy adopted a sarcastic tone, "well honestly we couldn't care less! You are coming with us tomorrow wether you like it or not!"
I held my hand up in the surrender position, "okay I give!" My face softened to a smile, "thanks guys."
Jinxx smiled, "anything for family." The guys got to painting my room while I drifted off on the sofa and had on of the best sleeps I have ever had.
***present day***
"Come on it has to be a medical condition! People cannot just do that!" Jakes voice ripped me from my pleasant memory.
Andy argued back, "its a biersack trait. Both mum and dad both do it. So do I, you know that!"
Ashley cut in, "but she isn't blood, she is adopted,"
Tears brimmed my eyes, that hurt. I knew that I didn't get the zoning out thing from mum and dad but why does it matter!? I am still a biersack! I got up and walked to my bunk, I lay down on my bed and had a little cry. Just a few tears not many but just enough to relieve me a bit, I was still upset so I played some music to channel my emotions. I clicked the cable from my sterio into my blackberry and selected the perfect song. How you remind me - nickleback.
I smiled "just the day I met you and the guys."
He grinned, "I love you sis!" He wrapped me in a bear hug.
"Love you too Andy!" My voice was muffled against his torso and I squeezed tighter.
***flash back***
The family court took quicker than I had imagined and I was leaving with Amy and Chris. My new mum and dad. It felt strange at first because even though they had said that I don't have to call them it I felt like I needed to because they had gone to so much trouble to get me. Before I knew it I was in dads car driving through the streets of cincinnati in Ohio. I had never even been out of england until now and I knew I wouldn't go back, unless I went on holiday. Of course. We pulled up on a posh estate (they call them suburbs right!?) And parked in a garage that had an electric door. All of a sudden I felt like I was in doctor who or something! The council estate I lived on had garages but they were full of teenagers doing pot and the doors usually would only open if you used violence! The house was huge for just four people!!!! I mean I know that Andy has a flat in los Angeles with his girlfriend but even for three people it was mahoosive!!! Dad helped with my luggage and mum clicked the door open and beckoned me in. I froze to the spot (something I do quite often I now notice). I have a home, no screaming kids, no annoying staff asking me if I am having suicidal thoughts because I dressed weird, no loneliness when I see a child walking with its mum or dad. Because I have one too. I smiled to myself. I have a mum. I have a dad.
Tears pricked my eyes and I was ripped from my thoughts when a hand fell on my shoulder. "You don't think she does what Andrew does do you?" Mum asked with a worrying look.
Dad shrugged "so what if she unexpectedly zones out every now and then. Just makes her more of a biersack!" I grinned and looked up at dad he grinned back and let me walk in front of him as I entered my new home. I immediately grabbed as many of my bags as I could and followed mum with the rest of my bags upstairs. Leading me up to my new bedroom, a room for just me. No one to run in as I was hitting rock bottom and needed the space, no more staff knocking on my door constantly to see if I was cutting. Peace. At last. She opened a door that was painted bright white.
"You can decorate your room tomorrow Ashleigh, Andy and his friends are coming round so you will have a bit of muscle to help you." She huffed as she put my cases down in the middle of the room. My ears pricked up, muscle? Oooh I haven't seen muscle before. Apart from the abs I saw in twilight but taylor lautner didn't really do it for me. His hair was too short.
"Thanks mum." I dumped my cases down and hugged her. Soon after I felt dad join in. This was my dream, a moment like this. Were we all just hug, something so simple. Four months ago this seemed like a hopeless dream. Dad pulled away and mum partially peeled away but rested her hand on my neck and stroked my spider web tattoo.
"Why leelee?" She asked.
I did a somersault in my head. I had a nickname from my mummy!!!!
I swallowed, "each one has a story, they mean a lot to me." I thought about all 82 tattoos I had and realised I would be getting two more (mum and dad tattoos).
She smiled, "I can't wait to hear each story!" For every word she said she tapped on a different tattoo then finished by kissing the star tattoo next to my right eye.
I smiled as they said goodnight and left, my walls were blank and made me uneasy. I wouldn't be able to sleep with plain white walls so I dug out my pencil case and started to draw things on the wall to keep me busy. I know I should have been sleeping but I can't sleep in a room with plain white walls. It reminds me of the attic my birth-mother locked me in. So I just drew. Just as I had finished the last bit of wall in my room there was a knock on my door.
A muffled voice travelled through it, "Ashleigh. Andy and his friends are here to see you can you wake up please?"
I opened the door and smiled at dad, "is it really the next day!?" Dad stared in shock at the walls and then at me. I prepared myself for a clip round the earhole but nothing came.
"Ashleigh did you stay up all night?"
I nodded, "I can't sleep in a white room because of bad memories. So I drew on them to keep me busy. Please don't be mad! I can rub it off if you want!"
He laughed, "nonsense. I am shocked that's all. I can't believe how good you are at drawing!!! Its lucky the boys are her to help you paint it today. Get changed sweetie!" He smiled and kissed the star on my face then strolled downstairs. My mouth gaped open. Why didn't he tell me off? What the fuck is happening!? I walked into my ensuite and showered quickly. I wrapped the towel around my body when I finished and dryed my hair, changing into my blue skinny's with black stars on and my batman top before pulling on my asking alexandria jacket. I did my make up in record time and did my hair just as quickly. I slipped my amazing cowboy boots and clipped a green bow with black stars on into my hair and jogged down stairs. Sat on the sofas in the living room was black veil brides, I know that I should have gotten over it ages ago but I was starstruck. They were my favourite band! And the lead singer was my brother!
Andy jumped up and hugged me, swinging me like a giant would. "I can't believe I have a sister! A rock chick sister!"
Mum turned to me as andy put me down, "leelee, did you really draw all night?"
I nodded suddenly realising how tired I was, "I told dad I was sorry about the walls but I don't like plain white walls."
She nodded, "honey I don't mind! I am just worried because you haven't slept since you were in England!" I yawned at the thought of sleep and sighed, "I know but you said there would be decorating to do."
Jake nodded, "yeah. We brought paint!" He gestured to the pile of boxes beside me.
"How much paint are we using!?" I asked in shock.
CC laughed, "we would rather have leftover paint than run out halfway through! Plus we are only painting today. Tomorrow we are taking you to the main city and shopping for your room."
My jaw dropped, "you don't have to take me shopping. Helping me paint is enough in itself, honestly!"
Andy adopted a sarcastic tone, "well honestly we couldn't care less! You are coming with us tomorrow wether you like it or not!"
I held my hand up in the surrender position, "okay I give!" My face softened to a smile, "thanks guys."
Jinxx smiled, "anything for family." The guys got to painting my room while I drifted off on the sofa and had on of the best sleeps I have ever had.
***present day***
"Come on it has to be a medical condition! People cannot just do that!" Jakes voice ripped me from my pleasant memory.
Andy argued back, "its a biersack trait. Both mum and dad both do it. So do I, you know that!"
Ashley cut in, "but she isn't blood, she is adopted,"
Tears brimmed my eyes, that hurt. I knew that I didn't get the zoning out thing from mum and dad but why does it matter!? I am still a biersack! I got up and walked to my bunk, I lay down on my bed and had a little cry. Just a few tears not many but just enough to relieve me a bit, I was still upset so I played some music to channel my emotions. I clicked the cable from my sterio into my blackberry and selected the perfect song. How you remind me - nickleback.
@AshleighPurdy
Awesome, subbing the second I submit this haha
3/19/14