Zaria's/Alexandria's P.O.V
Date: December 25/26

After opening presents we popped in How The Grinch Stole Christmas. I, already seeing the movie more times than I would like, got my brand new laptop out and started to play on it and make it my own. I already knew that I'd have to get a flash drive to transfer everything from my old laptop to this one but I really didn't mind.

When I looked up from my laptop it was the part where the Grinch was hiding behind the Christmas tree and Cindy Loo Hoo thought he was Santa. I smiled at the memory of my friends and I doing the school play and this is what they picked for it. Both Kyle and Kevin got picked for the brothers which wasn't very shocking, Kay got picked for the girl that the Grinch loved, Jack got to be the father, and I got to be the mother. Sofie wasn't really into that type of stuff so she didn't do it.

I felt tears start to burn my eyes so I quickly turned away so I wouldn't start crying. Damn these feelings. Why can't they just go away?

My eyes landed on Andy and Juliet and they were so fucking figity. Andy kept moving his hands, not knowing where they should lay, each stop just as uncomfortable as the next. Juliet was scratching at the side ofher thumbs, right where the nail hit the skin, where you got hang nails. They looked like they were hiding a secret and it was killing them to know it. Maybe I'm just reading it wrong though.

I tried going trough the rest of the movie without actually watching it but I felt bad about the fact that Chris and Amy we're trying to spend time with me and I wasn't even trying.
The movie took it's time ending but it did eventually end. We sat in silence for a good long while that's till Andy turned towards me and thanked me.

I gave him a confused look. "Why?"

He smiled at me. "For helping Juliet and I making one of the biggest decisions of our life's." Chris and Amy joined me in giving him a weird look. That's when Andy and Juliet stood up and Andy put his arms around her waist and put his hands on her belly. "We've decide that we'd try and be parents and not get rid of our first children." They both looked at each other and kissed.

Chris, Amy, and I sat there for a moment in silence. I was the first one to break it through. I started to woo and clap. This made me so happy but it also made me feel guilty, I bet they wouldn't have kept them if I didn't say anything.

"How you gonna tell the fans," Amy popped in.

Andy looked at her knowingly. "When I tell the fans about Alex I'm gonna have Juliet come into the room and join the interview. Knock two birds with one stone. Not a bad idea right?"

I let out a little chuckle. "You are smarter than you look, I should have believe them."

"You're starting to sound like CC," Andy said shocked but I just shrugged it off. "Oh, speaking of CC, he found us a really cheap house and I mean CHEAP. He sent us pictures of the it, do you wanna see them?"

I nodded my head and Andy grabbed his phone and walked over and sat down next to me. He flipped through the pictures and it was an amazing beauitful house. It had the obvious kitchen, dinning room, and living room. It had four bedrooms which I already knew which one I wanted if they didn't have other plans for it. Three bathrooms, a study thingy, and a sun room which my grandma had and they are quite nice.

"That's a really pretty house," I commented. "I like it."

"I hope you like it, we already started paying for it." Juliet laughed. "Oh and something I forgot to mention." Both Andy and I looked at her. "CC has been texting me these last few days and he can't find a place that he's willing to buy so he might come and live with us for a few weeks." Andy gave her are you serious look while my face lit up. I like CC he reminds me of Kyle. "It won't be for to long just till he feels comfortable. Do you not remember he's never actually lived on his own before so he is kinda scared."

"What's wrong with CC's place?" I forgot about Chris and Amy still being in the room.

"He got evicted," Andy said bluntly as if it were telling someone what you were drinking. "You know what, he never actually told me why either."

Amy gave an "Ah ok" look and got up and stretched. "I don't know about you guys but I'm tired."

As if mentioning the word tried Juliet started to yawn.

"I hear ya," Juliet yawned.

"I'm with ya lady's," Chris groaned as he stretched.

Chris and Amy headed up to their room after giving all of us a hug and kiss good night. I know there my actual parents and all but its so weird for them to kiss me even if it is on the forehead.

"I'll be up in a minute babe," Andy called after Juliet. He then turned towards me and sighed. "I know you don't like it but I'm not going to let you walk up those stairs."

"Fine then," I said and he looked shocked. "I'll do my best march up them." His face fell but he also let out a slight chuckle.

"Mom's right you are like me," he laughed. "Stubborn to the bone."

"Is that good or bad? I'm gonna take it as bad." I smiled and laughed.

He smiled and laughed also. "Hey that's not nice, oh wait you never claimed to be, right?"

I shook my head yes while smiling even more. "This is nice." Andy looked at me confused. "It's nice to have and actual brother you can joke around with and talk to and just smile and laugh with. God knows I can't do this with my old brother."

Andy wrapped me in a hug. "Thank you." He pulled away and it was my turn for the confused look. "You called me your brother. I could never ask for more of a Christmas or even a birthday gift than that."

I looked at him and noticed water lining his bottom eye lid. "Is Andrew Biersack about to cry?"

"I don't know. Is Alexandria Biersack about to make me?"

He hugged me again but this time he started to pick me up. I started to scramble and fight but he already had me in the air carrying me to the stairs.

"What about my phone and laptops?"

Andy sighed but circled back around to pick them up.

We eventually made it to my room and he put me down on the bed.

"You got everything," Andy asked as he set my laptops and phone next to me.

"Yep yep yep," I replied. "And I don't see why I couldn't just walked up here."

"Because I know what broken ribs feel like and I can't imagine them with a broken arm and leg." He walked towards the door. "You sure you got everything?" I nodded my head. "Ok, goodnight kiddo."

"Goodnight adulto." I got up and started to search for my pajama shorts in my duffle bag.

"You are so much like CC." He sounded kinda in shock and disbelief.

I shook my head as I pulled out my shorts. "No, I'm like myself. And speaking of CC, can I have his number?"

Andy stiffen. "Why do you want his number?"

"Because if he does remind me of anyone, it's Kyle, and I would like to talk to him and have another Kyle willing to come and comfort me at just a phone call."

He relaxed a little but still seemed tense. He read out his number anyway and I put it in my phone. We said our goodnights again and he shut off the light and left.

It didn't take long after the door was shut that my emotions boiled over the edge. I quickly turned on the lamp and changed into my shorts. I started to bawl. I tried my best to curl up into a ball. Little by little every part of my body became numb.

My mind filled with thoughts of the friends and family I left behind. To my dad and how he's locked up in jail over me. How that if my stupid real father didn't rape my mother non of this would have happened. How I wouldn't be here and everyone would be happy and not confused about what to do with me.

What if he never raped my mother? What if I never inhabited this earth? Amy, Chris, and Andy wouldn't have gone through the heartache of losing someone near to them. My mom wouldn't have turned into the wicked bitch of the west. Would my parents still be together? More than likely. If I never existed my brother and sister would've had a normal childhood and would have grown up with both parents love. Thanks to me though, they didn't get that chance. All because of me. It was my fault. Nobodies but my own.

My thoughts soon traveled to the idea of all my old friends throwing a party on the fact that they no longer have to deal with me. I remembered all those harsh words Kimberly and Sarah always said to me. They were right I am just a stupid little bitch who nobody wants.

Everything went black for a split second and one thing filled my mind like nothing else.

I quickly picked up my phone but carefully popped the back of it off. When the back was off a tiny piece of metal fell onto my lap. I carefully picked it up, almost like it was a very old vase and one wrong move and it'd break into millions of pieces. It's funny how this very thin, almost weightless piece of metal had such a strong hold on my life, my emotions.

The very thin piece of metal I have come to love so much was cold. It hasn't been used in about a month so it should be cold. I could tell it's missed me though because it quickly met my flesh and ripped it open. My numbness was soon replaced with pain that could be easily healed.

It was rather hard trying to use it with my cast so I moved to my thighs instead of my right wrist. Every word, every letter, every punch/slap/trip, that entered my mind turned to a tear and so a drop of blood was shed.

I sat there for what felt like hours tearing open my newly healed skin. I sat there for what felt like hours crying over the past.

I started to think about how it would be like if I just left and I couldn't think of anyone who would miss me. I mean Amy, Chris, and Andy have already been without me for so long it wouldn't matter. All my friends back in Florida are probably happy to be rid of me. CC and Juliet haven't known me long enough for it to even care. I could end it and nobody would care. They would all be happy. They wouldn't have one more mouth to feed or one more person to take care of or one more person to even worry about. I'm just an annoying little bitch who people worry about to much. I could stop all there worrying righ...

I heard someone moving in the hallway. I quickly became silent that's till I looked down at the ground and saw a few drops of blood had fell. Panic fell over me and I quickly tore off the shirt I was wearing and started to scrub. No this can't happen. If she see it she'll be mad and hurt me. She can't notice, she just can't. I don't want to make her upset. I just can't.

Juliet's P.O.V

I washed my hands and started to head out the bathroom. Man being pregnant fucking sucks. Having to pee all the time and always being awake. I sighed. I can't wait till these kids are out of my stomach and in my arms.

I walked by Alex's room when I heard movement and mumbling. She couldn't have anyone in there, then who is she talking to. I looked at the bottom of the door and saw a light shining through. I knocked on the door and waited a few seconds. Nobody answered but the mumbling and movement continued.

I slowly opened the door even though I shouldn't. When the door was opened all the way I saw Alex on the side of her bed in her tank-top and shorts fusing at something in front of her. I walked in a little to see what she was doing but I couldn't see anything.

"Alex," I tried to get her attention as a walked a little further.

"Alex," I said a little louder panic easily notice in my voice.

I was right behind her but for some reason she didn't even register I was there. Then an idea hit me.

"Zaria," I called out.

She quickly swung around with a frighten look on her face.

"It's ok," she mumbled. "I'm cleaning up the mess, please don't tell her."

"Tell who what," I asked softly trying to hide the panic as I kneelt down next to her.
When I was next to her I saw all the blood. I fell back on my ass and my eyes widened as they searched trying to find where the blood was coming from. My searched led me to her thighs and my eyes widen even more. I was hoping that I was wrong.

"Oh my gosh," I whispered.

She kept scrubbing at the ground where more blood kept falling.

"Al-Zaria." She looked at me again with that same look of fear. "Please stop and go sit down." She shook her head and went back to scrubbing. I grabbed her hands to make her stop. "Stop. Let me take care of you." My voice caught in my throat and tears stung my eyes.

"No I can't leave a mess she'll get mad. I can't let her get mad. She'll hit me again only this time she said it'll be worse than last time."

Who the hell was she talking about? "Zaria, nobody will be mad at you if you listen to me. If you let me take care of you, I promise."

She just shook her head and kept scrubbing. I quickly got up and ran to Andy.

"Andy," I yelled as I shook him awake.

"What," he mumbled.

"It's Alex," I yelled. "There's a whole lot of blood, please. She won't stop. She keeps going on about how someone will be mad at her and will hit her. Please."

This time he bolted up. "What?"

He jumped out of the bed and ran to Alex with me right on his heels. When he got to her door she was still scrubbing at the blood. We both ran over to her and I heard Andy gasp. When I looked over to him he was ghostly pale and I saw tears in his eyes. I started to reach out for him but quickly caught myself. We needed to help Alex.

Andy gently grabbed her wrists, blood slowly soaking through his fingers from the cuts on her right wrist I hadn't noticed before, and pulled them up in front of his face. Alex was now forced to looked at him.

"Alex please let us help you," he pleaded with tears now falling.

She just shook her head and tried to get back to cleaning. "I can't leave a mess," she screamed. "She'll be mad. She'll be mad."

She fell into Andy's chest and started to bawl. I heard someone running in the hallway and found Amy standing in the doorway with Chris right behind her. When I looked back to Alex and Andy, Andy had picked her up and put her on the bed. She was still bawling into his chest mumbling about how she can't leave a mess and that she'll be mad and Andy sat there with his arms around her comforting her. Amy flicked on the lights and everything became visible.

The blood on the floor, all her cuts, there were so many cuts, to many cuts. Her thighs were so battered and torn, I'm surprised that there isn't even more blood.

"Mom," Andy called out. "Go get the first aid kit."

Amy stayed frozen in place with shock stuck on her face. Instead Chris ran off as Alex started to get even worse. Amy started to reach for her daughter but retreated at her next words.

"No, don't go get mom," she pleaded. "Please, I'll clean up the mess I made just don't go get mom. I don't want her to hit me again, she said it'd be worse than last time and last time was really bad. Please."

Andy hugged her tighter and shushed her but she kept mumbling please.

Chris was back with the first aid kit. Andy quickly grabbed it from him and tried to stop the bleeding but she kept fighting. Every time Andy got close to her thighs she would start kicking and screaming.

"Please don't do this mister," she cried. "I told mommy I'd clean it up and that I wouldn't make another mess, please don't do anything."

Amy, finally finding her legs, quickly switched places with Andy. Andy turned towards me with a very shocked hurt look on his face as tears rolled down it. I quickly hugged him and he started to cry into my shoulder. He quickly straighten back up and drug his thumbs underneath both my eyes wiping away the tears I hadn't notice. He turned back to Alex. Alex wasn't putting up as big as a fight with Amy. But when I looked at Amy she was trembling and crying. I looked over to Chris and he was doing the same thing. And any time either Andy or Chris got within arm length she'd start backing away asking them not to do anything, that'd she'd be good.

Soon though Alex gave up fighting and sat there mumbling about not telling her mom and she was sorry. Amy tried to finish wrapping her thighs but kept slipping because she was shaking to much. I put my hands over hers. She looked up at me and I nodded. I took over wrapping up her thighs as she went to Chris's arms. Thankful Amy was able to clean up the blood at least. Soon her legs were done and I moved to her wrist, sadly, Amy hadn't had the chance to clean up the blood.

I gulped and found and alcohol pad. Quickly, I wiped up the blood that found it's way out of her body. I reached for where I had set the gauze but it wasn't there, it was in my face.

"Looking for this." I looked up to Alex's smiling face. My breath caught in my throat. "Mommy taught me to always be helpful." It was like she didn't register that it was her that I was bandaging up. That it was her that was in need of help and not me. She was like a little child trying to make other people happy.

I looked at Andy confused but he had the same look of shock that was on my face. I slowly took it out of her hand and started to wrap it around her arm. Alex started to swing her legs and act like nothing was wrong, like a room full of people weren't crying over her.

"Hey Andy." She looked directly at Andy and smiled. "Do you ever think that I'll be able to escape from the big bitch of the west?"

Andy's eyes widen. "I..I," he stammered.

Alex just laughed. "You were never good with words, were you?" She was acting like she was talking to a whole different Andy. A Andy she spent her entire life with instead a few weeks. "I'm glad your back though. Even if mother told me to stop talking to you." She then turned her head to the side with confusion. "Why do you look so different though? You had longer hair and were a lot shorter last time we saw each other. Plus you looked around 14, 15, maybe even 16."

We were all at a loss for word. Non of us had no idea what she was talking about. Was this Andy a friend from when she lived with her mom or what? I was done wrapping her arm but I still stayed right next her not making a sound or move.

Amy slowly walked next to her. "Who is this Andy you talk about?" Amy projected her voice to sound soft and sweet but even I could tell there was fear and shock hid in her words.

"My best friend who my mother hates. He was always with me but no one could ever see him besides me. He would always talk to me if I was scared or felt alone." Her bright and happy face soon turned grim. "One day though, when I was talking to him, mommy came in really drunk and started to beat me. She kept saying that'd she beat that stupid Andy right out of me or that if I want'd to be friends with him so badly that I could join him. That I could join him in the land where nobody could see or hear me." Alex was back to cry and shaking. Amy tangled her arms around her and Alex leaned the side of her head against her chest. "I thought she did it till tonight. Now Andy is back and I don't have to be alone anymore." Her smile beamed again.

We all sat there dumbfounded not knowing what she was talking about or how her mood kept changing.

"His birthday is tomorrow," she blurted out.

How the hell does this Andy have the same look and birthday as our Andy? The birthday thing is possible but the looking alike, at least to where you mistake them, not so much.
"Come on," Chris spoke up which caused me to jump. "She doesn't need to be around all this blood."

We all nodded silently and Andy moved closer toward her to pick her up. But her friend Andy was quickly replaced with the stranger. When Andy got close she started to scream again. Begging for mercy. Andy ingorned her cries, even though it hurt him greatly, and picked her up. She shook even worse than before.

"Please mister," she begged. "I don't wanna take another bath." I noticed Andy's grip getting tighter as he tried to make fists. "Ow, mister your hurting me." Andy loosened his grip but the anger was still painted across his face.

We made it to the living room and Andy put her on the couch and quickly backed away so she wouldn't get scared. Amy was quick to join her on the couch but Alex was back to saying she was sorry about the mess and how we can't tell her mom.

Amy smoothed her hair and softly said, "Your mother isn't here, so there is no need to tell her. You know what they say what, 'What mother doesn't know, won't hurt her.'"

Alex face loosened it's veil of terror but not completely. I turned my attention to Andy to see how he was dealing with all of this. When my eyes met his body it wasn't it's normal pale ivory, it was a red canvas. I went to the kitchen and grabbed a clean dish cloth. I ran it under warm water and returned to everyone.

As I approached Andy I noticed the very bleak expression his face held but when I looked into his eyes every emotion was spilled out in front of me. I saw the pain of the possibility that he might lose his sister again, not from the claws of death, but from the fact that she seemed to be losing her mind and a lot more distant than what we first thought. I saw the grief from not being able to see that she was hurting but non of us could she hid it better than anyone I know. When I noticed her tear up during her gift opening I though it was from the fact she got presents from all her loved ones, even the ones that can't be with her. There was also more pain and sadness in those eyes. The pain was from having to see his dear sister go through this and him also having to hear her screams of terror at the slightest thing all because of her mom. Sadness because he knew there was nothing he could do to ease her from the horrors of what her mom did to her, from the horrors of her past.

I gave myself a mental shake as his eyes turned towards me. I lifted up the warm wet cloth. He looked down at his chest wondering why I would need it. His eyes grew for a minute then went back to the sad painfilled eyes.

He sat down on the love seat and I took my seat next to him. I slowly pressed the cloth to his chest but he sucked in a sharp breath anyway. His eyes never once left Alex.

Chris stood behind Amy and Alex trying to be there for them but had no idea what to do sense getting within a foot of Alex would set her off.

"I'm gonna try and clean up the blood," he mumbled and went off to Alex's room.
I knew that it was more for him to be alone than to clean up the blood. Andy was the same way, if something bad happened he wanted to be alone to think it out or so nobody could see him lash it out if he needed to.

We all remained quite. I stayed quite while I wiped away the blood from Andy's chest and some from his arms that I just noticed, Amy while she tried to comforts Alex, Alex while she calmed down and started to look like she was about to fall asleep, and Andy as his mind raced with the million questions I'm sure he was asking himself.

After I finished wiping up the blood I intertwined Andy's and I's hands so that he knew that he wasn't isolated and that if he needed to he could draw strength from me like always. He acknowledged it and squeezed my hand and drew my head to his now clean chest so I could rest. But I didn't know if I could fall asleep know.

"Happy birthday Andy," Alex mumbled as sleep overtook her.

I heard and felt Andy chuckle and when I looked at the clock I knew why.

They clock had read midnight and it was know official Andy's birthday.

Notes

Sorry it took me so long to update sooner but the Thursday I was planning on updating on I couldn't get around internet then this past Thursday I forgot my laptop and now is the soonest I could do it and I'll try and update this coming Thursday but I can't promise.