The "High School Experience"

How do you fake a smile as you’re struggling with your own existence?
When you say you’re fine when really you want to crumble on the ground.
Paramedics rush around me and lift me onto a cot with certain tubes sticking here and there into my arms.
Am I going to die?
Andy stands off to the side his hands clenched together and a guilty look in his eyes. He looks down as I pass him and my arm falls off to the side of the cot.
My hand brushes his and his warmth passes through the coldness of my slowly beating heart.
It had been 2 hours since I took the pills and between that time I had cried, and cried, and cried.
Then Andrew showed up and called the hospital. And now here I am. Balancing between the void of life and death as I am piled into an ambulance. A nurse hurries over to me as the fellow men run to the front of the vehicle to begin the race to the hospital.
“What’s your name?”
“Kirsten.”
“How old are you?”
“14”
“Where do you live?”
“Ohio.”
“What color are my eyes.”
“Green.”
“Good. Good. What is your favorite band?”
“The Misfits.”
“Ok. How long until we arrive!” She shouts to the front and they hurriedly reply with 2 minutes.
I begin to lose the feeling in my toes. Tingling sensations crawl their way up my shin and to my knee.
“I can’t feel my feet…” I mumble to the nurse and her eyes immediately shoot open.
“That’s not good…” She whispers and starts to grab a few instruments from the ambulance walls.
The ambulance finally stops and the doors open and a few uniformed nurses pull my cot out of the ambulance. They rush me into the hospital and yell for any doctors nearby and eventually I create a little parade. Now I can’t feel my legs and the doctors start hooking me up to machines.
My eyes droop and a cold sweat breaks across my body.
“We need you to stay awake Kirsten,” one doctor barks and injects me with a syringe.
“We need to get whatever she took out of her.” The doctor says.
“No it’s too late for that, it’s been 2 hours it’s already too far down her digestive tract,” One doctor argues.
Then I hear shouting outside my room.
“No!” “Sir you can’t go in there!” “She’ll be fine!”
Suddenly a body pushes through the doctors and into the room. He grabs onto my hand with both of his. I turn to look eyes with Andy.
His eyes pricked with tears and his sniffles remind me of when we were younger and he had a cold.
“Kirsten,” He whispers before a nurse pushes him away from me and they start going to work on me. I enter the blackness of a new world.
Stuck between the middle of life and death.
My reality switches between Andy’s cries and the darkness surrounding me.
Is this really what death is like?
“No! She can’t be! Please just try something!” Andy yells and his cries and groans can be heard throughout the hospital.
I can’t open my eyes. I am only tortured by hearing my best friend crying and I can’t do anything about it.
“Let me hold her hand one more time, please.” I hear him whisper-yell and a door opens. I can tell someone’s hand must have grabbed onto mine. I still only see darkness.
“Kirsten, I am so sorry. I should’ve stopped you…But you need to know the truth. They forced me to be with her by beating me and saying they’d hurt you if I don’t…I couldn’t let that happen. I didn’t want this to happen either. I am so sorry. I- I love you so much. Kirsten. Please. Just come back!” He begins crying once more, much louder and so much more pain in it.
I wish I could come back. I want to kiss his lips. Curl my arms around his neck. Let him play with the ends of my hair. I want to tell him how much I am scared of thunder and how I always tried to hide it. I wish I never took those pills. I wish I never left the party. Hell, I wish there was never a party to begin with.
Why Can’t This Just Go In Reverse?

Notes

Hello. Hope I don't make you cry. I was like freaking out writing this chapter and rewrote it at least 15 times.
Andyways,
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