Spoiler Chapter

Chrissie POV

I was killing myself from the inside out by following Mordred's number to get another fix.

I felt like I was letting everyone down but Mordred and myself, like I was doing this to make myself happy.
Selfish bastard.

I got the needles out to do another dose when I am interrupted by hurried knocks on my door.

I open it to see Andy.

"Chrissie!" He jumps into my arms and holds me tight.
"Why havent you been answering my calls?"

"I... uh..."

"Have you been cutting?"

"No."

He makes me strip down to prove it. I throw my clothes back on and before I can put my shirt back on he points out the needle scars.

"I had to get shots a couple days ago."

He furrows his brow in disbelief, but just tells me to carry on getting dressed.

"Chrysanthemum Lynn Vanders!" He calls from my bedtoom making me roll my eyes.

I walk in to see him holding up the needle and heroin syringe I was going to use before he came in.

We both dont say anything, I try to but nothing comes out.

I saw something I never thought I would ever see, a soft tear run down his cheek.

I walked over and wiped it off carefully, showing it to him.
"I dont know why you are the one crying."

"You're never gonna be able to quit."

"I can quit whenev-"

"No, you cant Chrissie." He interrupted.
"Its eating you alive and youre never going to be able to stop. Ever."

I gulped at his emphaisais at the last word.

He set the needle and syringe down on the table and picked me up, sitting on the bed.

I sat in his lap staring at the syringe wondering what Andy was thinking.

"Why do you do this?"

I took a deep breath before speaking.
"That guy in the bathroom gave me some and gave me his number if I wanted another fix."

"At the party?"
I nodded.

"No more parties."

I giggled a little bit but he only smiled so I knew he was serious.

He grabbed the needle and syringe off of the nightstand and put it in my hands. Why did he want me to hurt him?

"Either you use it on me or you use it on yourself, but remember, this is the last time I will see with this."

I had no fear in hurting myself, actually it gave me a shoot of adrenaline knowing I was going to hurt myself.

I excitedly took the cap off of the the needle and screwed it onto the syringe. He looked so scared and sad, I almost didnt want to do it.

I set it down and shook my head.
"I cant do it."

"Because I'm here?"
I nodded.

"Then I will always be here, a saviour will be there, when you are feeling alone."

I smiled at his lyrical quoting, but it slowly turned into a frown.

If Andy was my Saviour, I wouldnt be in this mess.

"Im sorry." He put his head in his hands. Shit. I said that out loud.

Andy picked the needle back up, setting it back in my palms. He extended his arm exposing his veins.


I pushed his arm back and extend my own.

Slowly pushing the needle up with my middle finger and thumb, I close my eyes and smile when I feel I hit the perfect spot.

I gently started pushing the fluid in with my index fingex, adniring the stinging I feel when it first hits my veins.

He starts drawing circles on my knee, I could tell I was scaring him.

I push in a little faster causing my heart rate to speed up and kind of like a climax building.

"How does it feel?" His voice sounded scratchier than usual.

"Amazing."

He chuckles. "Alittle more descriptive."

"It feels like things are easiers to say." I clear my throat and push a little harder. "And that the world has brighter colors, and I can finally breathe."

I didnt realize I was crying until he wiped my face.
"It should always feel this way."

Notes

Hmmmmmm felt like writing...