When Love Met Destruction

Pain. Agonizing pain. That's what I felt for weeks straight. Not in the physical sense, that would only happen when I would unknowingly harm myself, but in the emotional sense. I was trapped inside my own head and it seemed as the days went on, the disembodied voice that followed me everywhere grew stronger. "It" controlled what I did, said, and even thought. Andy had tried to break me out of the theoretical prison that I was in but nothing he did worked. I was, in every aspect, a prisoner of my own mind.

"Please, just eat Scarlett." Andy begged.

My unintentional hostility had worn him down to the point where he looked arguably worse than I did. His eyes had sunken in and were no longer shining with the hope that I would soon get better but instead dimmed every second that I didn't. He looked overall exhausted. I wanted to get better, to be cured of whatever was wrong with me. But every time I felt I was improving, that disembodied voice would push me further into the hole I was in.

I felt at fault and the voice's discouraging words that for once in my life I was right, simply made that feeling grow stronger. "I can't," I whimpered. "you know that..."

Andy sighed. "Why not? It's just fruit, and I even cut it up in front of you. There's no way I could have poisoned it or compromised it's original form at all without you seeing it. Please, please, just eat."

A tear trickled down my face. He was resorting to begging? This was the first time pleaded with me to eat and it sent a dagger straight through my heart.

"...What?"

"Please just please eat the fruit. You haven't eaten in over two weeks because of this damn paranoia that you have. And it's not your fault, I know you're troubled with what happened but you need to trust me - trust us. No one in this house wants to hurt you. We can start small, go at whatever pace you like. But please, please, start eating." Andy looked up at me with the last spec of hope in his eyes.

'Don't you dare listen to him! If you start trusting them again, you will suffer the consequences.' I shook my head defiantly and screwed my eyes shut in an attempt to recollect my thoughts.

"Oka-"

A sudden wave of nausea washed over me. I leaped off the bed and darted towards the bathroom, falling to my knees as I felt the bile rise up my throat. Andy rushed in behind me and pulled my hair into a ponytail as he rubbed my back reassuringly. I sobbed as the stomach acid, that continuously spilled from my mouth into the toilet bowl, burnt my throat with an intensity I have never felt before. After a few agonizing minutes, I slumped to the ground and cried into my hands.

'Told you.' The voice sang, laughing loudly.

"Leave me alone!" I yelled, protectively wrapping my arms around myself. The laughter grew louder and louder, as if this entity was walking towards me until it's mouth was pressed against my ear.

The booming laughter pounded in my head and I squeezed myself tighter, once again unintentionally harming myself.

"Scarlett!" Andy shouted, bringing me back to reality. The laughter stopped but I knew it would return.

I looked up at him then down at my stinging arms. I had created four slices that went from my upper arm and curved into my inner wrist. When I looked up, Andy was hurriedly getting all the necessities to bandage me up. It sort of became a protocol due to the amount of times a week I would hurt myself. The process of getting the wounds cleaned and bandaged seemed to drag on as I thought about what my life has come to. Jinxx came into the bathroom and assumed, very accurately, that I was getting out of control again.

"This needs to stop, Jinxx. She can't go on like this. This.. This voice is tearing her apart! Every rash and destructive thing she does or says is influenced by that voice.." Andy sighed angrily and threw the face towel that he used to clean my self inflicted wounds on the ground. "I just want her to get better."

Jinxx sighed. "I know, Andy. We all do. There's got to be something more to this; something we're missing. When did all this start? Go right back to the first sign of abnormality."

Andy thought. "Almost a month. The first thing that worried me was when I tried to kiss her forehead and she pushed me away... That.. That was the night you guys rescued us. I thought it was because of what they did to her but before we left the building, she was clinging onto me like I was her lifeline then.. Something changed. What could it be?" He cradled me in his arms and I mustered up all the courage in me not to tense because we were so closely touching. This is Andy. I told myself, he won't hurt me.

My remaining courage was crushed when I heard a faint 'does he?' and my body went stiff almost immediately. It wasn't because of Andy, although I'm sure he thought that, but because of the voice - the voice that wouldn't leave me alone, that plagued my every thought, my every dream. The voice that plagued me.

"I'll do some research, okay?" Jinxx sighed, eyeing the untouched fruit bowl on Andy's bed from the doorway, "Just let her rest and you can try getting some food into her when she wakes up."

Andy nodded silently and picked me up. He effortlessly brought me to the bed and placed me under the covers, daringly kissing me on the head. A warm feeling ran throughout my belly before it was replaced with a shooting pain. I moaned weakly and rolled into a ball, clutching my stomach.

"Scarlett?" Andy asked worriedly.

I grit my teeth. "Just go.. Please."

Andy went to object but stopped when Jinxx placed a hand on his shoulder. He sighed and kissed my forehead again before shutting off the light and exiting the room with Jinxx in tow.

Notes

because of the amount of comments asking me not to delete this story or any of my others, i've decided to keep all three! thank you guys for putting up with me!! :')