Beautiful Things

I sat in Megan's lap bawling like an infant who had candy stolen from them. I nuzzled into her neck. "I-I c-can-nt believe th-at ii-mm so st-upid" I say with my head still buried into her neck my face was red as a cherry and my eyes were swollen from all the crying. "Darling you'll be okay I'm sure Jinxx understands he loves you, you know he does!" Said Megan with reassuring smile "Now come on let get you a glass of water." She got up and walked out the door, which was too bad, that girl is a good pillow.
At this point i felt so alone, all my friends had lost well you know the big V (their virginity) I know how sex works but Im still so nervous.Don't get me wrong I Love Jinxx I really do but I mean what if he doesn't like doing IT with me? I have issues I know I do such as my OCD (really big problem for me) and social anxiety I just want to give myself to someone who will accept all of me when things get hard.
When Megan comes back (which feels like forever) All I could think about was him say "lets go all the way" that scared me more than anything I mean i've never even been to 1st base with a guy other than him! I just wish i handled it better than yelling "IM NOT JUST SOME KINKY TOY!" After he asked "don't you trust me?" Then I ran out of his room with just his Tee shirt and my underwear on, into Madi's room just to find two naked sweaty bodies...eww didn't need to see that!
Megan snaps her fingers *click* "Morgan are you okay?" "Oh uh what oh yeah I'm fine just thinking about what happened." "Don't" she said "i cant help it!"

to be continued

Notes

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