Our big family (book three of Unbroken series)

I woke up in Andy's arms and for a moment I thought I wasn't with Ronnie, which made me both happy and sad at the same time.
"What am I doing here?" I asked Andy.
He looked at me with sad eyes and said, "Kit....you cut yourself up really bad. I found you in a pool of blood. You scared the living shit out of me! I thought you promised that you would stop."
"Oh, so if I break my promise, then I'm the bad person! What about you?! You said that you would always be there for me and that you would never leave me! Why the fuck should I be the one to be the bad guy?!" I yelled at him.
I started to roll over Andy to leave the bunk, but he blocked my way.
"What the hell Andrew," I growled.
He held me close to him and looked me in the eyes. His blue eyes were blazing with so much emotion that I couldn't even fathom what he was thinking.
"I broke one of my promises, but I swear to you that I will always be there for you until I die. Even if you chose Ronnie over me and have kids with him, I will be there for you. If I'm on tour or-god forbid- another girl and you call, I will come running. I would drop everything in order to make sure you are safe and happy. I love you so much, that it physically hurts me to see you kiss Ronnie. I made the biggest mistake of my life when I broke up with you. I was pissed and I wasn't thinking clearly at all. You didn't want me to beat up someone you cared about. I get that know. There was no reason for me to end our relationship because you didn't want me to hurt someone."
Tears sprang to my eyes. I knew he was sorry and I was so tempted to just kiss him and be with him again. I would've given everything to him. But, there was this part of me that told me that it was wrong and that I was in love with another person who wasn't Andy. I wanted so badly to scream. Why couldn't things work out well for me?
"Andy, I accept your apology. I'm sorry about being a bitch to you, it wasn't really fair of me, but this can't change things between us."
"You love him don't you?" Andy asked, his expression like that of a wounded puppy.
"Yes, I do. I still love you too, but you hurt me too badly for me to drop my relationship with Ronnie to be with you again."
"I...I understand. Um, I have to go to a meet-and-greet, but I'll be back. Please stay here, you're not in the shape to be moving around," Andy said as he rolled out of the bunk.
I closed my eyes and fell back to sleep.
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I felt someone's warm body press up against mine, and without thinking I cuddled up to them. I felt them press their soft lips to my forehead, but I was to lazy to object. I just wanted to enjoy this person's company.
I slowly opened my eyes after twenty minutes or so and saw Andy. He was shirtless, but he had on a pair of Batman pajama pants.
"Hey," I whispered.
"Hey," he responded, a bit off.
"What's wrong?" I asked, propping myself up on my elbows.
"Just this one girl and a guy I met with today...." he trailed off.
"Tell me about them," I said, genuinly curious.
"This one boy was about seventeen told me that Black Veil Brides was the only reason he didn't take his life when he was bullied by a bunch of kids at his school. The girl reminded me of you. She was eighteen and didn't have any parents. She's stuck with the burden of taking care of her twelve year old brother and her two year old sister. She....she had cuts on her arms and she looked unnaturally skinny. Meeting with the fans always makes me sad and happy at the same time. It sucks that they have to deal with a lot of crap and that I can't get rid of all of their problems. Still, it's nice that my music can help them a bit."
"You're music has helped a lot of people. It has saved lives. That's more than I've been able to do..."
"Don't say that," Andy said, cupping my face in one of his hands, "Do you remember that one girl you told me about- the one that promised you that she would stop cutting because of you. You do help people. Don't count yourself short."
"I guess. I wish I would be able to help Quinn out more than I have, though."
"You're the reason she is pregnant with Ashley's child and is happier than she's ever been before. That wouldn't have happened if you weren't in a band and didn't take her on this tour with you. You do possitively affect people's lives. You've made my life better."
I blushed and looked away from Andy.
"Listen, Andy, that's really sweet. I..uh... I have to go, though. Ronnie is going to be worried about me and if he finds out I've been with you things could get really messy. I'll talk to you later, okay?"
"Alright," he sighed, rolling out of the bunk, allowing me to follow suit.
Andy walked me to the door and I saw Quinn sitting on the couch and drinking a fruit punch. She gave me a raised eyebrow and I shook my head at her. She looked dissapointed to be honest, and I knew why. She didn't like Ronnie and I together. I walked off the bus, but as I reached the bottom step, I turned around and kissed Andy on the cheek.
"Thank you," I whispered.
"Anytime," he smiled.
I walked off towards the Falling In Reverse bus and noticed Ronnie standing outside. He saw me and his eyes brightened and a smile spread across his face. I smiled back.
"Where have you been?" he asked.
"I was spending a lot of needed sister-bonding time with Quinn. Who knows how much I'll see her once she has a kid. I don't expect her to stay at my house once she has the baby," I lied to him.
I knew it wasn't right for me to lie, but I knew how Ronnie was. He was very protective and very aggressive. Andy was the same way, so if Ronnie found out about Andy, all hell would break loose.
"Okay, I was just worried is all," he said, "Let's get on the bus, it's freezing out here."
He wrapped an arm around me and lead me onto the bus and to our bunk.
I don't think I have ever felt more confused about my feelings in my whole life. I just wished there could be some sort of easy solution to all of this that would not end in me feeling incredibly guilty.

Notes