Our big family (book three of Unbroken series)

I couldn't stop thinking about Kit. When she was on-stage last night, it was like she was letting all of her reigned-in emotions out.When she sang 'Fall For You' for Ronnie I felt that someone had reached into my chest and started sqeezing my heart. It hurt when she dedicated Juliet's song to me. I knew that when I broke up with her that I hurt her, but I didn't know it would hurt her so much that she would resort to that. Then she called out that female fan of mine and said that girl could have me, that she didn't care. When she came backstage and ran into Ronnie's arms, she gave me the angriest look I've ever seen from her. I'd seen her sad, depressed, frustrated, but never the anger like she showed me last night. I'm not much of a crier, but when I got back to the bus I headed directly into my bunk and sobbed. I had ruined everything. I had broken my promise to her and now she hates me. I wanted to vent about this to the guys, but I knew they weren't happy with me for my decisions. I tried talking about it to Ashley last night, but I couldn't tell him even close to everything I was feeling.
I woke up in the afternoon on the couch and I groaned. I went to the bathroom and took a quick shower and changed into a pair of skinny jeans, vans, and my torn up My Chemical Romance shirt. I looked at myself in the mirror and I looked like shit. I had dark circles under my eyes and my blue eyes looked dull. I sighed and noticed Kit's toothbrush by the sink. I felt tears begin to form and I blinked them away.
I knew how much Kit needed me, but I didn't realize until now how much I needed her. She was so sweet, kind, and level-headed. She kept me grounded. I knew that lately I had been letting my ego get to me, and Kit had been the one to bring me back to reality.
"Andy, it's time for soundcheck. We gotta go," Jake called through the door.
I took a deep breath and headed out of the bus with him to the venue, seeing Ronnie and Kit making out by the FIR bus on the way. I felt a pang of a mixture of sadness and jealousy as I looked at them.
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"Hey, you beautiful motherfuckers!" I yelled to the crowd.
I had just watched Kit perform, and now it was my turn. I couldn't help but stare at her during her performance. Her black and neon green hair was sticking to her face, but she looked beautiful anyways. Her blue eyes held a fire in them and she looked so alive. She never looked like that when she was with me. We were always so serious and passionate, that I never thought about just having fun with her. Of course I notice that when it's too late. In some ways I think Ronnie is better for her than me, but I still won't ever give up on getting her back.
"This song is for a girl who I'm in love with who is with someone else. I just want to tell her that I'm sorry."
'Love Isn't Always Fair' began to play and I looked at Kit. I wanted to see her with an expression of love on her face, but all I saw was anger. Winning her back was going to be harder than I thought, but I suppose I should've expected that. I dumped her because Ronnie kissed her and she wouldn't let me beat him up.
I saw her brush away the hair from her face, exposing her newly cut wrists. She couldn't have.....
As I finished the song, I turned to Jake.
"Can we do two songs that aren't on the set list?" I asked him.
"Uhhh...I suppose. Which ones?"
"Saviour and Carolyn."
"Why?"
"I think Kit may have cut again...."
Jake glanced over at Kit and gasped.
"Yeah, let's do it."
"Alright guys," I said turning back to the audience as Jake let the rest of the guys know what we were doing, "We're going to perform two special songs for you. These are dedicated to all of you who have ever cut because you felt worthless, threw up because you didn't think you were skinny enough, or wanted to commit suicide because thought no one cared. We love you BVB army, please stay strong."
I sang through Saviour and loved how the crowd sang every word with me. I looked at Kit and noticed that she was wiping away a tear. As Carolyn started, I refused to take my eyes off of Kit. She turned to Ronnie and told him something before giving him a kiss and walking away. Where was she going?
I finished the set and ran off to find Kit. My best guess was that she was on the Falling In Reverse bus. I ran onto the bus and searched the bunks. I noticed that the bathroom door was closed, but there was a light in it. Part of me wanted to see if Kit was in there, but the other part of me was afraid of what I would find.
I decided to open the door and gasped in horror as I saw Kit laying unconscious on the floor in her own blood. She hadn't lost enough blood to cause her to die, but she needed to get her cuts taken care of.
I looked around the bathroom and found two towels, which I pressed to her wrists to stop the bleeding. I cleaned out her cuts, then wrapped some bandages that I found around her wrists. I picked her up off of the floor and carried her off of the bus and to the Black Veil Brides bus. I layed her down in my bunk and I crawled in next to her.
I waited for what seemed like hours before she finally opened her beautiful blue eyes, and I let out a sigh of relief. Even though she wasn't mine, it didn't mean that I wasn't going to be there for her. If Ronnie and her never broke up, I would still be there, even if I was doomed to be friend-zoned for the rest of my life. I promised I would always be there for her, so I would.

Notes