I Love You More Than I Can Ever Scream

"Danielle! You are not being serious with me right now!?!" I screamed, looking down at Dani from my chair next to her bed.

Andy, and Colin had gone out to get some food. I had been by Dani's side all day, and I wouldn't have rather been anywhere else. She looked terrible today, and I feared that this could be it.

"Nope, I was a virgin. Peter, and I never did it." Danielle shrugged her shoulders, "That's why he hit me."

"Key word being was, when did you and Colin do it?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"A month ago." She blushed a crimson shade. "How about you and Andy?"

"Oh dear lord." I shook my head, "Probably around seven months ago.." I bit my lip, holding back laughter. I always thought Danielle was the wild one..

"Jesus Jasey!" Dani exclaimed. "Where?"

"Remember when he had that party?" I said, she nodded. "Well we were in the hot tub, and we started making out, it got heated, so we went up to his room and..." I left the rest for interpretation.

"I had no idea you guys did it that early in the relationship." She said.

"He has a way of persuading me." I said grinning cheekily.

"Gross." Danielle made a face. "So how is it being the wonderful age of eighteen?"

"It's pretty great." I said twisting the ring on my finger.

"I'm sure, I can't wait til I turn eighteen...if I make it." She said solemnly, before coughing. I saw her face twist into something unreadable, shock? Anger? Or was it knowing?

"Dani shut up. I don't want you talking like that." I said. Her birthday was in October, I didn't want to think about her being gone in a couple of months.

"It's true, Jay. I could die at any second." She said looking at the ceiling, her eyes glassed over. I felt my heart tear when I noticed how short her hair was, due to the chemo.

"You still have a chance of recovering." I said.

"A small one." She sighed. "I'm not afraid of death. I'll get to see you, mom, dad, Colin, everyone I love again. If I die today, or tomorrow or the next day, it was just my time. It was when I was intended to die. I don't want you to be sad. Be happy! Tour with Andy, love him, get tons of tattoos, piercings, you name it, because one day you won't be able to get them. And do one other thing for me."

"What?"

"Marry him. Do it soon, never let him go because I've seen how he looks at you, and it's unlike anyone else."

I teared up at her words, and leaned in to hug her. "Danielle don't leave me." She coughed a loud guy wrenching cough, that made me wonder if now was the time she would leave.

"Jay, I think it will be time soon. I don't know how much longer I can hold on." I squeezed her tightly, never wanting to let go.

"Please don't leave now." I said tears streaming down my face. Her eyes were tiny slits, and I couldn't help but wonder how one moment she was laughing, and happy, and now she is this close to death. "You have to wait for Colin, and Andy. I'll get mom and dad."

"Jasey.." Her voice sounded drowsy, ready for eternal sleep.

"MOM, DAD!" I screamed, and I heard the banging of foot steps up the wooden staircase.

"What's wrong!?" My dad said bursting through the door.

"She is..." I sobbed not knowing how to finish the sentence. My parents ran to Danielle's bed, and grabbed her hands.

"Honey, hold on. Jasey please call hospice!" My mom yelled.

"Okay." I said sliding my phone out of my pocket. I had the number on speed dial in case this ever happened.

After a quick call, Hospice was on their way. I paced in the front room.

Where is Colin, and Andy?

Just as I thought that the front door opened. It was Hospice with Colin, and Andy trailing behind. Colin had tears streaming down his face.

"It's happening isn't it?" He said, his voice raw from tears.

"I think so." I said, the pain hitting me like a punch to the gut. Andy moved towards me, and pulled me into his arms. I buried my head in his chest, and cried my eyes out. I felt his own tears falling in my hair as I heard Colin running up the stairs. "I'm not ready for her to die." I sobbed.

"If she is in pain, than you need to let her go." Andy said holding me at arms length. He wiped a few stray tears out from under my eyes.

I nodded, "Then we should go say goodbye." I said, and he laced his fingers with mine. "Stay with me?"

"Always." He squeezed my hand, and we walked upstairs to Danielle's room.

Notes

Alright..I may have lied...this story may not end so happy, as much as it ends beautifully tragic. Only about two or three more chapters now my lovelies, we're on the home stretch.