Remembering The Pain - And Learning To Heal
Back Home
"Ash babe, did you take your medicine this morning?" I looked around from my spot on the couch for the small pill bottle, but it wasn't in my range of vision.
"Uh... Maybe. Andy?" I asked as my tall... well i don't know what to call him. But as Andy's tall sexy figure walked through the doorway.
"Yeah Ash?" He plopped himself down on the couch next to me and slung his arm around my shoulders. I leaned into him inhaling his scent for a moment.
"Uh, where is my medicine?" I asked into his shirt.
"You didn't take it did you?" He asked knowingly pulling my face up to look at him. God I'm so bad at keeping my heart rate down. His eyes are just so blue. I wish I could turn myself into a contact lense and lay on them all day...
"Ash?"
"What? Oh no. No I didn't take it... But that's because... I don't know where it is! Yeah. Soooo... You have to go get it for me."
"I dont' have to get anything for you sir." He repositioned his arm around my shoulders and layed back into the couch getting comfortable."
"Yes you do Andy!" I said nudging him in the stomach. "I can't get it myself!" Just then he shot up and flipped me over, so he was hovering over me on the couch. Lips centimeters from my own...
*Flashback*
"Thalia? Thalia babes where are you?" Where has she gone... I kick the door closed and shuffle to the kitchen to set all the groceries down on the kitchen table. I grabbed an apple from one of the bags and washed it off at the sink. Leaning over the sink to look out the window, I see that both of our cars are still in the driveway.
"She must be home..." I continue to search the flat for her, muttering the entire time.
"This isn't funny Tal, come out. Thalia?" I can feel my heart beating out of my chest.
"Thalia? Thalia!!" The apple falls out of my hand and I run to the bedroom. She's not in here... I'm looking through all the doors to the house. Closets. Cupboards. Where can she be? "Thalia this is not funny. Come out now!" Ripping the blankes off the bed, I hope to find her there but the bed remains empty. My eyes search the entire room for her. There's one other place. "The bathroom... No..." I think my heart has fallen into my stomach. The groceries on the table are long forgotten as I run as fast as I can to where I hope not to find my love...
"No..." I drop to my knees on the cold tile floor, pills scattering as I rush to her side. My hand seems to move on it's own to stroke the cold face of my true love...
*End Flashback*
"Andy... I can't." I push Andy away before his lips can touch mine. The hurt I see in his eyes is gone after a moment, thinking the reason why I won't kiss him is because of the doctor.
"It's fine Ash. Nothing happened when we kissed in the hospital. Just this once..."
"No!" I pushed him away and ran up to my room.
"Ashley!?"
I ignored his shouts after me and slammed the door closed. I flopped myself down on my bed, face in the pillow, and arms splayed out over the duvet. After a few moments, I realized I wasn't crying. I moved my right hand up and under the pillow to grab the letter. The closed envelope that still smelled like Thalia.
"Uh... Maybe. Andy?" I asked as my tall... well i don't know what to call him. But as Andy's tall sexy figure walked through the doorway.
"Yeah Ash?" He plopped himself down on the couch next to me and slung his arm around my shoulders. I leaned into him inhaling his scent for a moment.
"Uh, where is my medicine?" I asked into his shirt.
"You didn't take it did you?" He asked knowingly pulling my face up to look at him. God I'm so bad at keeping my heart rate down. His eyes are just so blue. I wish I could turn myself into a contact lense and lay on them all day...
"Ash?"
"What? Oh no. No I didn't take it... But that's because... I don't know where it is! Yeah. Soooo... You have to go get it for me."
"I dont' have to get anything for you sir." He repositioned his arm around my shoulders and layed back into the couch getting comfortable."
"Yes you do Andy!" I said nudging him in the stomach. "I can't get it myself!" Just then he shot up and flipped me over, so he was hovering over me on the couch. Lips centimeters from my own...
*Flashback*
"Thalia? Thalia babes where are you?" Where has she gone... I kick the door closed and shuffle to the kitchen to set all the groceries down on the kitchen table. I grabbed an apple from one of the bags and washed it off at the sink. Leaning over the sink to look out the window, I see that both of our cars are still in the driveway.
"She must be home..." I continue to search the flat for her, muttering the entire time.
"This isn't funny Tal, come out. Thalia?" I can feel my heart beating out of my chest.
"Thalia? Thalia!!" The apple falls out of my hand and I run to the bedroom. She's not in here... I'm looking through all the doors to the house. Closets. Cupboards. Where can she be? "Thalia this is not funny. Come out now!" Ripping the blankes off the bed, I hope to find her there but the bed remains empty. My eyes search the entire room for her. There's one other place. "The bathroom... No..." I think my heart has fallen into my stomach. The groceries on the table are long forgotten as I run as fast as I can to where I hope not to find my love...
"No..." I drop to my knees on the cold tile floor, pills scattering as I rush to her side. My hand seems to move on it's own to stroke the cold face of my true love...
*End Flashback*
"Andy... I can't." I push Andy away before his lips can touch mine. The hurt I see in his eyes is gone after a moment, thinking the reason why I won't kiss him is because of the doctor.
"It's fine Ash. Nothing happened when we kissed in the hospital. Just this once..."
"No!" I pushed him away and ran up to my room.
"Ashley!?"
I ignored his shouts after me and slammed the door closed. I flopped myself down on my bed, face in the pillow, and arms splayed out over the duvet. After a few moments, I realized I wasn't crying. I moved my right hand up and under the pillow to grab the letter. The closed envelope that still smelled like Thalia.
10/17/13