I Am The In Between

Andy's POV
Our lighthearted laughs fade into nothingness as Ashleys eyes catch glimpses of my broken exterior. I freeze up, not wanting him to feel bad about the bruises on my torso, thinking that's all he'd seen. But much like the day he'd broken my iPod, he changes almost instantly. Seemingly cold-hearted, he demands I take off my shirt. I'm not sure what to think... or what to do but before I can get little more than a few mumbled words out of my mouth, I feel the wet fabric being peeled off my body at a speed I can't even fight. And I stand there. Exposed. I attempt to hide my arm but it doesn't work; Ashley demanding to see it despite me offering my right arm to him first. He eventually gives in and snatches my left arm into his hand & forcefully but gently twisting it round so he can see the underside.

As always, his expressions are hard to decipher and his emotions are hard to gauge but the look of shock and utter sadness on his face are enough to break me. For the first time in 3 years, excluding yesterday, I cried. Again. The salty liquid running down my cheeks launches an assault on my mouth, forcing me to practically taste my own despair. Ashley seemed to know what to do instantly, and before I knew what was happening, he was pushing up the stairs into his room & down onto a plush chair in the corner. I bury my face in my hands as he gets up and flings my shirt onto the radiator to dry out.
"Andy... I'm sorry, just talk to me. Please? Let me know what's going on I swear I'll try to help..." he states calmly, obviously trying to keep his voice level. He does a great job of staying in control when I'm making myself out to be a pussy, so I don't respond, not wanting to make myself look any weaker than I already do. Ash doesn't react strongly though, he seems to understand my lack of actions. Crouching down and putting his palms on my knees to balance himself, he begins to talk without purpose, for lack of anything else to do.
"Andy look. I can understand why you might not wanna talk to me about this and that's fine but... Don't think I'll judge you. Not for one second. I guess I just... I get what you're going through more than others might. Stuff's not right at home, not right with you I suppose. I don't know. But I do know you're an awesome guy and despite not knowing you for more than a few days I can tell that you don't deserve this. No one does. I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm here if you need me even though I've been a huge dickhead to you. I'm sorry if I've caused any of this..." he trails off, gingerly following the angry red lines with his thumb. I let out a sigh, overwhelmed with the need to justify his honesty with a response, but I'm unable to get the words out.
"You didn't... It was never you. I just. I can't talk about this. I shouldn't. It's okay, we're friends now", I manage to mumble out in a quick succession of short statements.
And amazingly, despite the vagueness of it, he sees through it all. "You need to talk to me about it... I know you're unhappy. You feel worthless. Hopeless. Like nothing in the world can save you. Like there would be no point saving you anyway. You feel self concious all the time, wanting to impress everyone but being rejected by so many people hurts. Colton... I don't wanna say anything in case I'm wrong but I'm pretty sure I'm not. Andy, I get it! Just talk to me please. Your silence speaks volumes, it always has, along with that look in your eyes. But it's not enough! Just let me help you or I'll never forgive myself. I get it, Andy. Just learn to trust me", Ashley professes, his voice cracking towards the end of his musing.

And for the first time ever, his eyes filled with emotion and I realize... Ashley Purdy is not who he makes himself out to be.

Ashley Purdy is not invincible...

Notes

Oops. I did get round to writing this on a whim, on my phone at 5 in the morning so forgive me if it sucks. Does anyone still come on here? Idk. Anyway, enjoy & thank you if youre still reading :D