Chapter 5
Ashley’s POV
I can’t get the stupid grin off my face as I speed through the streets on the way to Andy’s place. The wind harshly whips my hair all across my face but I honestly couldn’t care less right now. This is one of the very rare occasions I have no music playing; I'm just that content with my actions right now that I can do without. Slowing to a snails pace, I check the door numbers across the street & park up when I get to Andy’s house, number 6. Compared to some of the houses around here his seems nice, modest but well kept. Mowed lawn, freshly painted porch… I’ve gotta say it really is quite nice considering it’s nowhere near the best area of Cincinnati. I shake my head, trying to put my materialistic thoughts aside as I become horribly aware of the butterflies in my stomach and the lump in my throat. I decide on a mini pep talk to myself… I’m not insane or anything, just used to growing up without siblings to talk to.
‘Right… okay Ash. Calm, breathe. You’ve got the iPod… Did I take the price sticker off? Nope. Okay there. I’ll be fine. There’s no way he can hate me after this, right? I mean he always just looks so sad and vulnerable… and strangely cute. What. You definitely need to get laid soon Purdy-boy, this isn’t like you. Alright, breathe and ring the bell on one… two… three.’ I shuffle on my feet nervously after hissing my little soliloquy out loud.
The sound of their bell sounds outside the house, startling me somewhat but I manage to regain the last of my composure before a short, very slight woman opens the door. She seems kindly enough and has the same vibrant blue eyes as Andy, she must be his mom.

“Um… Hi, Andy’s mom? Um, my names Ashley, I’m a friend of your sons…” I trail off not sure where to go next.
“Hi, Ashley! Please do come in, it’s nice to see some friends of Andy’s around here for a change” she breaks out into an instant smile, causing me to smile back at her & completely forget any nerves I previously had. Just as I go to step into the house a short but muscular looking guy barges out, gruffly muttering his goodbyes to Andy’s mom before getting in his car and pulling off.
“Oh, that’s just Colton, my husband. Don’t worry about him. You can call me Amy, by the way!” she hurriedly explains, taking me by the arm and walking inside. The front room is nowhere near as clean and tidy as the outside of the house, but Amy apologises for the mess & tells me Colton works evenings or something, so this is where he lounges about after a long shift. There's something I don’t like about that guy, but Amy snaps me out of my premature judgement inviting me into the kitchen which doesn’t have a speck of dirt in it.
“This is a lovely house you’ve got here Ma’am… um, Amy. Its real homely” I note politely while taking in my surroundings. She thanks me and turns to the fridge, taking out two cans of soda and sliding one to me.
“Andy helps me a lot with this place, he’s a good kid really… there’s no point calling him, he won’t come down haha. You can go up when you like, just be a bit wary of him he might be a bit crabby. You… you do know what happened don’t you?” she asks quietly, avoiding eye contact.
“Yeah, I wasn’t in school that day but I heard about it… I heard his iPod got smashed and he was basically attached to that thing so…” I pull the box out of my little carrier bag, lay it on the kitchen counter and inwardly sigh at myself for having to lie again. “... I bought him a new one. I know it’s wrapped and you can’t see it but it’s exactly the same as the one he had before so he should just be able to put all the music he had on his old one back on it from the computer he used.” I look up at Amy for approval, to see her eyes glistening with happiness.
“Bless you Ashley, you didn’t need to. It’s just nice to know that he has people who care for him. I mean, I know Andrew’s… struggling with things. He’s withdrawn into himself but he’ll be okay, do you think so? She dabs at her eyes slightly so I give her a reassuring hug.
“I’m sure he’ll be fine sooner than you know Amy. I better go and surprise him with this then! Um… where’s his room since I’ve never been here before?” I chuckle softly.
She returns the laugh and tells me ‘straight up the stairs, last door on the left’. I nod at her in thanks and head for the stairs. ‘Last door on the left’ I tell myself quietly as I approach it. I stand quietly outside for a few seconds debating whether to knock or to surprise him. I pray he’s decent and open the door to see him almost jump out of his skin while sprawled out on his bed at the side of the room. He has his hand dangling out of the window, holding a cigarette between his index and middle fingers. The obvious bruising seems to escape from under the white plaster on his nose and his cheek is almost entirely purple & incredibly swollen. He just looks beaten & it takes me a minute to even get his name out of my mouth.

“Andy…”
“Ashley?!” his voice shakes in disbelief & even fear.
I invite myself in and close the door behind me. Deciding against standing awkwardly, I sit on the end of his bed.
“Look, Andy. I’m not gonna hurt you, I’ve come to say sorry. Like, you don’t need to hear my sob story but I swear I’m not that kind of guy. I mean look at me now, I didn’t particularly want to be a jock in the first place but… things happened I guess.” I hang my head slightly and wait for his response, only to see his brow furrowed at me when I look back up. Great. He doesn’t even wanna respond to me. Just give him the iPod and leave, Ash.
“Yeah, anyhow. I said I’d make it up to you so here.” I take the box out of the bag and gently slide it to him.
He flicks the cigarette butt out of the window, gingerly takes the box, holds it in both hands and stares down at the black & red paper, seemingly examining it. He looks up at me, his electric blue orbs brighter than ever & almost hypnotizing. I force myself to pull my gaze from his and tell him to open it.
“Ashley… thanks. You really didn’t have to go to all this effort…” he whispers as he slides his fingers beneath the folds of the paper, smoothly ripping it off in one piece. I stare down at my hands, fumbling with nerves until I hear him chuckle slightly. I look up to question him, and he looks right back at me, the most genuine smile plastered across his face.
“Thank you so much, you’re awesome! There's no way I could have replaced this on my own. Thank you thank you thank you thank you…” he slowly shifts himself towards me and wraps his long arms around my shoulders in the world’s most awkward hug which he’s obviously aware of as he laughs softly at himself. I have no choice but to return the hug to his torso, at which point he yelps slightly and jerks backwards. Shit. What did I do?
“Andy what…” I begin; the confusion obvious in my voice.
“Ah fuck, sorry. Um, remember the whole reason you’re here? I got beaten up. Bad. They even broke my ribs so I’m kinda sore at the moment. Hey, at least I have an iPod though” his pearly white teeth shine at me as he grins happily.
“Yeah, about that… Am I forgiven? Because I honestly feel like shit and I don’t even know how to explain myself to you but please, please accept my apology?” I rush through the words, feeling myself blush scarlet with embarrassment despite my naturally tanned skin.
“Yeah of course you are… at least you weren’t kicking me like the rest of them.” he sighs slightly at the memory of the incident and all I can do is remember I was a part of that. I’m to blame.

Andy’s POV
I pause for a second, basking in the silence before continuing. “But why me Ashley, just why me? And why this… like, why do you look like me now?” I ask, sounding more like a little lost toddler than a kid who’s going to be 17 in a couple of months. “Tell me everything.” I command, sounding more like a man now.
“Well, you… because you were different, Andy, that’s really the only reason. You’re the kid without a clique, an easy target. And this, well I love rock, metal, anything “alternative” basically. But I moved here from Missouri where cuz it was such a small community, everybody knew me. That meant I could listen to the music I love and play sports at the same time. But when I moved here to Ohio cuz of my aunt finding a job here, I knew nobody. I made the mistake of coming to school in a ‘Slayer’ tee and earned myself the nickname of the ‘kill your mother, rape your sister kid’. I got my stuff robbed, gum in my hair… they were all just basically douchebags to me. It even got to the point where I was getting beaten up everyday, never to this extent though.” He takes a second to sigh & fluffs his hair before he carries on in a way more sombre tone.
“Then Mason and his cronies saw that I was actually good in Gym class, so they ‘took me under their wing’. Basically made me one of them. And instantly as soon as I started hanging out with them & dressing like them, it all stopped. I became popular. Guys wanted me on their team and there was a million girls calling me. So I acted heartless for the longest time, doing what I had to do. But this time they… we went too far. And I was a part of it. I guess I just remembered I do have emotions and didn’t just push them aside. I flipped out on Mason and broke his nose in the bar. And now I’m back to me. I feel like complete shit cuz of what I’ve done but I’m trying to rectify it. Trying to be happy. So that’s me I guess.” He looks up at me apologetically & there’s an obvious sadness in his eyes which figures since he’s just spilled his heart to me.

There's things he’s missed though… why did he move with his aunt? ‘Trying to be happy’? I guess I’ll just have to wait and see. I look directly into his deep brown eyes, trying to figure him out but it’s like he really is a pro at hiding what he’s feeling. I nod to myself, trying to make sense of the hundreds of thoughts circulating my head. He obviously trusts me since he’s told me all this… maybe he could be my first real friend? Or is that too forward? Do I just ask him? I think I should. I try to ignore my other random ADHD fuelled thoughts of a post-apocalyptic world involving hit men unicorns and get ready to try and make my first ever friend as cheesy as it sounds.
“Um Ashley…?” I question shyly
“Can you shorten it to Ash? The guys used to take the piss out of my ‘girl name’.” he rolls his eyes in annoyance and looks at me, hinting that I should finish my question.
“Yeah, sure. Ash, um… could we like, be friends?” the words come out of my mouth sounding more juvenile than I ever expected and I could have hit myself right then and there for it.
“If you’re sure that’s what you want Andy, then of course. It’s the least I could do. Plus I think we could both really use a friend right now so yeah…” he smirks and offers out his hand. I laugh with relief and shake it.
We hit it off instantly, talking about music, bands, fashion, douchebags, you name it we spoke about it. By this point Ash & I are in tears, laughing at retards from school. Just as things were getting really funny though, his phone starts ringing & he answers it and speaks in a quieter, more respectful tone. He hangs up and explains his aunt wants him home now so he’s gonna have to go but he takes my cell off my bedside table & jabs his number into it before giving me a quick hug round the shoulders , winks at me & bounds off down the stairs. I stretch out on my bed, smiling genuinely for the first time in months & listen to him say his goodbyes to my mom & Colton who I guess has just got back since its past 11pm. I refuse to let him bother me since I’m in such a good mood & just I laugh at the memories of the silly conversations Ash & I had. It appears my happiness is about to be short lived though, as I can hear Colton grumbling to my mom about the state of the living room, well he fucking left it that way! His harsh, heavy footsteps up the stairs attack my ears as mom tries to call him back down but fails. I inwardly curse him as he bursts through my bedroom door, stinking of booze.
“You… You haven’t cleaned… and… and you’ve had a fucking guy over. What are you, some kinda faggot or something?” the words come out slurred, but malicious none the less as he leans closer to my face.
“Yeah I bet you’re fucking with him, aren’t you? You’re just a worthless, stupid, dirty homo. Well you know… you know what. Watch when you’re better, I’m gonna beat you so hard you won’t know what hit you… I'm gonna tell you now; my belt, faggot.” He laughs drunkenly and pokes me in the ribs making me jump away from him before he leaves the room.
His footsteps reach the bottom of the stairs and the tears start falling down my face. Maybe he’s right, I deserve all this. I am worthless & stupid. I don’t like Ashley. I can’t like Ashley. But I am a waste of space. The depression starts to creep back up on me, its evil voice whispering its self destructive commands. I cry harder & reach under my bed, feeling around for a small box. The tears obstruct my vision and I can barely see what I’m doing before I blink harshly a few times. I open the ebony box’s lid and remove the folded piece of black cloth before shutting it again. Shaking out the cloth, 3 lone razorblades fall out of the folds & I choose my sharpest. I roll my left sleeve up and push the cold metal against my skin, closing my eyes. Slash. And again, and again, and again... until my arm looks like a murder scene, the cuts getting progressively deeper down my arm. And the sad thing is; I don’t care. I really don’t.

I need a saviour. I give up.

Notes

Another chapter you lucky ducks :P xD Poor Andy though ;-; Can you guys tell I have one big idea but no planning on how to get there? No? Well now you do haha.
I hope you enjoy this, or not cuz it is quite sad 3: But thank you for reading :D
~ Misha :D x