Never Give In, Never Back Down

"Mmm...." Ash snuggled closer to me burrying her head deeper into my neck. Laughing softly I squeezed her waist gently as I
watched her crinkle her nose in response. I knew she'd drifted back to sleep because she began to snore lightly. Grabbing my ipod I hit
shuffle and decided to wait for her to wake up.
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"Mmmm....who.....Andy?" I cracked my eyes open and looked up into his deep blue eyes.

"Yeah, it's me, you gave me quite a scare last night, you ok?" He brushed a stray hair out of my eyes.

"Yeah, i'm fine, just a nightmare." I brushed it off and pushed myself onto my elbows.

"Would you like to talk about it?" He asked, worry in his eyes.

"Well....I did promise Ashley I would tell you what we were talking about that day we went to the mall, so I'll tell you about my
nightmare then ok?" I looked deep into his eyes and waited for him to nod before giving his cheek a kiss and slipping out of bed.
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Man, I missed having someone to wrap my arms around at night....wait....what am I saying? I'm sure she doesn't like me as
anything more than a friend. Then, why did she kiss my cheek? I put my hand on my cheek, directly over the spot she kissed me.

"Ash?" I called down the hall.

"Yeah?"

"What do you wanna do today?" She walked back into the room in a tight fitting Black Veil Brides shirt with our almost naked
zombie girl on it. She's torn it down the seams and tied them back together again so most of her sides were showing. I could see her bright
red bra peeking out from under the shirt. Her neon red skinny jeans were ripped all up the front and back of the jeans. Her black converse
were decorated with cool drawings and quotes.

"Hmm...Want to go to the park? Then we could go see a movie with the rest of the guys afterwards, if you want?"

"Sure! Sounds like fun."

"Can I borrow a few of you're bandana's and some black eyeliner well, or warpaint. I ran out yesterday."

"Hell yeah! I only have warpaint though." I got up and handed her a handful of bandana's, grabbed some clothes, and a
bottle of warpaint. I put the warpaint in her outsretched hand and waited for her to go into the bathroom. It ended up being a few
minutes because she had to find her chains, piercings, and makeup bag.
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I closed the bathroom door behind me, placing my ear against it. I listened to Andy's slow breathing and waited until I heard
him swear under his breath and walk out of the room. Probably looking for his hairspray which I put in the kitchen. I turned to the toilet
and made myself sick.

"Ugh, why can't I loose weight?" I looked down at the numbers flashing across the scale. 102.5 lbs. Still not back down to my
goal weight. I slipped the shiny metal blade out of my pocket, looking for a place where Andy wouldn't see. I lifted up my shirt and sliced
a few times across my stomach.

I picked up my concealer and slathered it up my arms and over my face. I finished up my makeup and checked my arms to
make sure none of my scars showed. Walking out of the bathroom I almost ran straight into Andy.

"Oh, Shit, Sorry Andy."

"It's ok Ash...Damn. You look great."

"thanks..." I hope he didn't notice me blushing.

"You ready to go to the park? I texted the guys and told them to meet us at the theatre around 4:15 so that gives us...two hours
at the park."

"Ok. Lead the way Lady Gazelle." He chuckled as we walked out the door.
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"Ok those four monsters probably weren't a great idea." I watched Ash run over to the swings giggling like a little girl. "Damn,
you really need to calm down. You're going to flip the fucking swing Ash." I chuckled, walking over to the swing and stopping it. I pulled
her into a tight hug.

"I'm not letting go until you calm down." She looked up at me and I swear said the cutest thing ever.

"Then I'm never calming down." She giggled and started jumping up and down in my arms. I grabbed her hand and pulled
her over to a willow tree by the bank of a river running through the park.

"I'm tired!" I chuckled quietly and pulled her into my lap.
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"Ash....wake up...Ash...." Andy chuckled softly as I groaned, grabbing his shirt. "Ash wake up...we got to meet the guys at the
theatre."

"Ugh fine, but you fucking owe me. I never let people wake me up without a black eye." He laughed and asked how the hell Ashley
survived this long. Chuckling I told him I had no idea. When we got back to the house Andy pulled out the key.

"So, when are you going to tell me what's been going on?" He asked glancing at me from the corner of his eye.

"Um....Can we wait until we get the rest of the guys together. I need to tell all of you." He nodded his consent and walked into the
house to grab his keys. When we got the the theatre everybody was already there.

"You're soo fucking late guys!" C.C. screamed before running full tilt across the parking lot and tackling me to the ground.
Jinxx sauntered over and helped us up just before Jake reached the car.

"Ok, you're the last ones here so that means you buy the pizza." I laughed and told him I'd buy a whole pizza just for him.

"Fuck yeah! Ok...now let's go see a movie!" He latched arms with C.C. and I and we skipped back to the theatre singing *We're off
to see the Wizard.* A few fans were standing around and decided to take pictures, i'm sure they would end up on twitter or facebook in a
matter of seconds. Andy and Jinxx walked behind us laughing.

"Ok, what movie do we want to see? I vote horror." Everyone else agreed so we picked a movie that looked good and bought the
tickets. "I call sitting next to Andy and C.C!"

"But, I wanted to sit next to you!" Jake sighed. I felt bad so I slung my arm around his neck and walked with him all the way to
our seats. I really did like Jake, he was sweet, but C.C. and I had more in common, and I did have a mild crush on Andy. This became all
to apparent to me during the movie. Normally, I'm fine with horror movies, hell I laugh at them, but whenever someone I like is around I
turn into a giant pussy. Everytime *scary* music started playing I hid my face in Andy's neck. He would chuckle and squeeze my waist. He
had put his arm around me before the movie started and by the end of it I was basically in his lap.

"Damn, I thought you weren't scared of horror movies." Jinxx nudged my shoulder as we walked into the pizzeria.

"Normally I am. I don't know what happened!" I looked down at the menu just as Andy slid into the booth beside me.
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"Hi my name is Cami and I'll be your waitress today. Do you know what you'd like to drink?" We all ordered our drinks and
relaxed into the seats.

"You know she was so hitting on you right Andy." Ash said elbowing my ribs.

"What?! No she wasn't." Truthfully, I didn't notice I was too busy watching Ash take in everything on the menu and thinking
about what she needed to tell us.

"Dude, she so was." C.C. chimed in followed by a "she's into you Andy" from Jinxx. Jake decided to yell across the diner and ask
Cami if she liked me to which she blushed and looked away. Ash put her head on my shoulder and stated how tired she was.

"How?! You slept on me for two hours!!" I looked down at her in disbelief.

"I didn't sleep well last night. I didn't come to your room until at least three." The whole table fell silent as they looked between
the two of us. "Not like that perverts." She grinned telling them she had a nightmare.

"Here's your drinks. Are you ready to order?" We all took turns ordering our food. Once she'd walked away I turned to Ash.

"So, what did you need to tell us? You said you'd say once we all got here....and I still want to know what was so bad it made
you cry last night." He looked at me with worried eyes and the rest of the guys turned to look at me.
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By the time I got done telling them about my past I had been in tears twice, we'd finished eating, and all the guys had hugged
me and interrupted me at least once to tell me they were going to kill my family.

"It's a great sentiment guys but, it's all over now." Andy looked at me with worried eyes.

"You still need to tell us about your nightmare." Jinxx complained sipping on his third coke.

"Have you ever self-harmed Ash?" Andy asked me out of the blue.

"Yes Andy I have." I swear his eyes turned black for a split second before telling me to continue about my dream.

"Well, my nightmare was about my best friend Drew, he killed himself when we were in 9th grade. I knew something was wrong,
but I didn't say anything to him. My mind keeps showing me images of him with a bullet through his brain saying it's all my fault he
died. In a way it is. I could have asked what was wrong, I could have been there for him more, I could have done so much, but I didn't."

Andy squeezed my shoulders tightly and gently wiped away a stray tear.

"It wasn't your fault Ash." I whispered to her.

"I wish I could believe that Andy."
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I can't believe everything this girl's been through. It makes her more beautiful in my eyes and now I understood more about her.
I wanted to do so much for her, hold her while she cried, go back and make things right for her, and most of all I wanted to kiss her.

"Ash, can I talk to you?" If I didn't say something now I never would.

"Sure, we'll be right back guys." I led her around the diner to a bench along the back wall.

"I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that. Can I ask you something?" I waited for her to nod before I spoke again. "Do you
still self-harm. In any way?" She looked guilty and I could tell she did before she opened her mouth.

"Yes. I'm ashamed of it. I tried to hid it from Ashley but he caught me. I'm overweight and I look disgusting, I can't even look at
myself in a mirror without throwing up, but every time I throw up I have to punish myself with this." She pulled a razor stained with fresh
looking blood the pocket of her jeans.

"Not anymore you don't. The guys and I are here to help you. I think you're beautiful." I blushed and looked to my feet. After a
few minutes I felt a soft hand on my chin. Ash lifted my face until I looked at her.

"Now can I ask you something?" She looked straight into my eyes, it was like she was digging into my soul.

"Of course, anything." I got nervous and almost ran off but I sat there waiting for her question.

"Do you like me?" I looked at her shocked. How did she know?

"Yes. I do like you Ash. Honestly I wanted to kiss you in the diner, I didn't pay a bit of attention to that waitress because all I
could look at was you." A small *awe* escaped her lips before I decided to kiss her.

Leaning in I placed my lips gently on hers and closed my eyes. She hesitated for only a second before she kissed back. I deepened
the kiss and pulled her into my lap. Once we broke apart for air I looked her deep in the eyes and asked the most important question on
my mind. "Will you be my girlfriend?"

"Yes I will Andy." She leaned in and pecked my lips as a roar of 'Yes' and finally's' came from the side of the building. Ash and I
looked over to see Jake, C.C., and Jinxx peering out from the side of the brick wall, seemingly perched on top of one another. I decided to
let Ashley in on the news and whipped out my phone.

'Ash just said yes to being my gf...she told us about her past too' ~AndyBVB

Notes