Miles and miles away.

*des's point of view*


the fact that Andy, my dad, and the kids were coming made me extremely nervous. I had to clean up the bus, set up cribs, plug in the appliances, baby proof EVERYTHING. And when I say everything I mean EVERY-FUCKING-THING. I will NOT have my infant, or Dakota, smash their fingers, playing in the toilet, or putting something in the sockets. I just have to get this place ready for them. Especially for Andy. It's been a year since we've seen each other. Then I'm gonna meet my new children, everything has to be perfect.
I got up extra early and basically threw out all the guys' stuff. Suitcases, blow dryers, flat irons, everything that wasn't mine I out of the bus. They're moving into the Of mice and men bus, since they got knocked off the tour and the label already spent the money on their bus, so what's the point of wasting the money? And besides we needed more room. And I really don't want to hear the guys bitch and moan about the babies cause I know they will.
I put those little plastic plugs that are like fucking impossible for a baby to take out. Vic helped me put baby proof locks on the toilet and cabinets. while picking up I found the bra Ryan threw at me at the show in China. She screamed "I LOVE YOU DES HAVE MY BABIES!" Then threw it at me. It made me sad. We're not talking. I don't think we're even friends anymore right now. The fight we had I'm pretty sure our friendship is fucked.

*flashback*

I was just released from the hospital and Ryan was driving me back to the hotel. She looked pissed to high hell and those feelings were confirmed when we got up to our hotel room and she grabbed my arm and threw me in there.
My head smashed against the bed frame. I cried out but Ryan ignored me and just started screaming at me. "Why didn't you tell me or anyone what was happening to you?! Are you fucking stupid?!"
I stood up and started screaming right back,"Bitch! Fuck! He was threatening me! He threatened to fucking kill me!"
"I know you were alone at times and when we were together you could've told me something. It's all your fault. You could've stopped it by saying something and not dressing like a slut."
Oh thats fucking it. I completely lost it. I pounced on her and started beating on her worse than I did Juliet in France. But she didn't hold back either. She got some swings in. I clawed at her cheek. Small droplets of blood dripped down her cheek. It took her a second to realize what I did but then she lashed out at me. I managed to dodge the blows to the face(hello im a model. Gotta keep the face good.) but she got punches and scratches in below the neck and fuck they hurt. I think I would've choked her out if Vic and Cole didn't rip us apart.
"Let me at her! She needs a kick in the teeth! But why should I improve her looks?!" I snapped thrashing around trying to get another swing at Ryan.
"Oh would you shut the fuck up! God you're so fucking annoying. I fucking hate you. I only felt sorry for you. That's the only reason I ever even became friends with you. If you had ever cut to deep I wouldn't have gave two fucks." She hissed. You could just feel the venom and hate she laced in every word.
Words cannot describe how much what she had just said to me hurt. It hurt my heart and soul to hear her say that. My best friend tell me that.. It killed me. All the anger I felt diminished and was replaced by sadness and pain. I felt tears drop down my cheeks. I kept my head down so she wouldn't see me cry. I relaxed in Vic's arms. And I muttered out the only thing I could manage to, "I love you Ry. I never meant for this to happen. I never meant to be this fucked up. I'm so sorry. You're right about everything. " and before she could say anything back Vic took me out of the room. I've never cried so much at what someone has said in my life.

*end of flashback*


I sighed and just hung the bra on the bra wall. We have a bra wall from all the bras fans throw at us on stage. There's over a hundred. I couldn't help but stare at them for some reason. Tony interrupted my thoughts. "Des. Come on time to go."
I looked back at him and smiled, "Coming."

Notes