Will this ever work?
All right, let's go.
At about 8 p.m. my phone rang.
“I’m here.” he said.
“All right. I’m coming.”
I picked up the bag with all the things I thought were necessary in it and went downstairs as quietly as possible.
I heard my parents talking in the living room while our TV was on.
The door creaked a little bit as I opened it but my parents didn’t seem to pay enough attention to notice the noise of an opening door.
Andy’s Bentley stood right in front of the house, with running engine. As I came towards him I heard the noise of a slamming door behind me and turned around.
Oh yeah, it’s worth mentioning that Vincent lived right next to me.
Soon he appeared in the window of his living room, staring right at me. He looked strained but I couldn’t deny noticing that his eyes were filled with sadness. And I understood.
Who knew if we were ever going to see each other again?
I got in the car and when I looked back he was gone.
Andy awaited me with a sympathetic smile on his lips.
“You all right?” he asked and I nodded, however, I didn’t look at him. He would have immediately uncovered the lie.
“No, you’re not.” he said then.
Bingo.
“No, I’m not.”
He changed the gear, gave me a searching look but then he obviously came to the conclusion that there was nothing left to say and stepped on the gas.
The first fourth of the route it was completely silent in the car.
Absorbed in thought I didn’t realize that Andy spoke to me. Only when he laid one hand on my thigh I turned my head towards him. “What?” My voice sounded tired and weak.
He sighed and stared through windscreen. We stood at a traffic light.
“Victoria, you shouldn’t …” he began but then hesitated. “You know I would never force you to anything. But if you’re not sure of this …”
“You mean if I’m not sure of us?”
He didn’t answer. And this was answer enough. He had his doubt about me, about our love.
“Andy, if I wasn’t sure about us I wouldn’t be here.” I added.
He bit his lower lip and I tried to ignore the feeling that came up inside of me when I saw it.
I knew what these lips were capable of. “I just …” he said. “You obviously thought about this for a long time. Did you talk to your parents at all?”
Puzzled I looked at him. “No? You think I should have?”
“Maybe.”
“I wouldn’t be here if I had. And I won’t call them either in the near future. It won’t change anything.”
His face changed. Why did he worry about this? Yesterday he would have done anything to make me come with him. And now, all of a sudden, he wondered what my parents thought about all this?
“Andy, what’s your problem?”
“I don’t have one.”
“Of course you do.”
He sighed again. I clenched the teeth and continued to stare out of the window, through the pattering rain that had started a few minutes ago.
Finally, the drive had seemed like an eternity to me, we stopped in front of their hotel. Andy turned off the engine but none of us got out. Exertion filled the air and tied up my throat.
“You know” I started but I felt tears impending. I hesitated. A sob crawled up my throat so I pressed one hand on my mouth. I couldn’t imagine that the pain in my heart could become any bigger. I ran my tongue over my lower lip, then bit it.
Trembling I inhaled. “You know … this is want I want to do. There is no other solution because there is nothing else I want more Andy, nothing else … than being with you. I am aware of everything I’ll need to sacrifice and I’m aware of everybody I’ll have to lose …”
I sobbed wretchedly. Hot tears ran over my cheeks and down my neck. “And there were enough people” I continued and he listened. “who told me what could go wrong and I know that everything could go wrong but this time … I’ll risk it. I don’t want to know how disappointed my parents will be when they find out that I’m gone and I’m sure Vincent will tell them everything I told him about this. You know … it’s just … I don’t know who I can trust anymore except you. You’ve been changing everything in my life but in a good way. I don’t want to justify myself because I did something good for myself. And leaving has been good for me. And you need to know …”, I swallowed and gave him a short look. His facial expression testified to sympathy and love. “You need to know that I’m not crying because of you right now or because of anything you said. I’m crying because of all those things that will change and I don’t … I don’t know if I will ever get them back.”
I inhaled deeply and I could feel the strong coat of fear, desperation und hidden hate that was wrapped around my heart.
“You think you’ll regret it sometime. Don’t you?”
I was frightened. His voice sounded so cold like I’ve never had experienced it before.
I took a look at him. “No.” I replied but sounded uncertain myself. I swallowed. “Remorse is useless.” I said then and my voice sounded already strongerthan before. Andy raised an eyebrow and looked at him searching. “You think so?” he asked.
“Yes.” I answered. “I mean you decide yourself to do something before you do it, right? But if you’re not sure whetherthe consequences will be good or not, you shouldn’t do it. You don’t do anything, you don’t regret anything. I told you I’m scared of all those things that will come towards me in the future but I don’t regret getting into your car. Because I know you’ll be there.”
My voice had gained more and more strength. From his face I could read that he was surprised. Although my cheeks were still flushed and hot from crying I tried a confident smile. And he replied with it. After he had shook hands with me he got out of his car, walked around the car to open my door. Within seconds our hair and clothes were soaking wet. And we didn’t have an umbrella. Of course we didn’t.
Andy held me back when I wanted to run under the awning right above the hotel entrance.
He looked me deeply in the eyes,covered my face with his hands and bent down to me. Soon I could feel his gentle lips on mine. Between our lips I tasted the rain that still pattered down on us but I (or we) didn’t care about the cold.
We were still kissing when the car of another hotel guest stopped in front of the hotel.
We grinned at each other but I noticed the concerned look with which he eyed the entrance.
I smiled. This was typical of Andy. I grabbed his hand and pulled him to the entrance.
“You didn’t tell your guys, did you?”
I got an embarrassed smile. “Nope. I wasn’t sure…” He fold his fingers with mine.
I sighed cheerfully. “That’s why I love you.”
“I’m here.” he said.
“All right. I’m coming.”
I picked up the bag with all the things I thought were necessary in it and went downstairs as quietly as possible.
I heard my parents talking in the living room while our TV was on.
The door creaked a little bit as I opened it but my parents didn’t seem to pay enough attention to notice the noise of an opening door.
Andy’s Bentley stood right in front of the house, with running engine. As I came towards him I heard the noise of a slamming door behind me and turned around.
Oh yeah, it’s worth mentioning that Vincent lived right next to me.
Soon he appeared in the window of his living room, staring right at me. He looked strained but I couldn’t deny noticing that his eyes were filled with sadness. And I understood.
Who knew if we were ever going to see each other again?
I got in the car and when I looked back he was gone.
Andy awaited me with a sympathetic smile on his lips.
“You all right?” he asked and I nodded, however, I didn’t look at him. He would have immediately uncovered the lie.
“No, you’re not.” he said then.
Bingo.
“No, I’m not.”
He changed the gear, gave me a searching look but then he obviously came to the conclusion that there was nothing left to say and stepped on the gas.
The first fourth of the route it was completely silent in the car.
Absorbed in thought I didn’t realize that Andy spoke to me. Only when he laid one hand on my thigh I turned my head towards him. “What?” My voice sounded tired and weak.
He sighed and stared through windscreen. We stood at a traffic light.
“Victoria, you shouldn’t …” he began but then hesitated. “You know I would never force you to anything. But if you’re not sure of this …”
“You mean if I’m not sure of us?”
He didn’t answer. And this was answer enough. He had his doubt about me, about our love.
“Andy, if I wasn’t sure about us I wouldn’t be here.” I added.
He bit his lower lip and I tried to ignore the feeling that came up inside of me when I saw it.
I knew what these lips were capable of. “I just …” he said. “You obviously thought about this for a long time. Did you talk to your parents at all?”
Puzzled I looked at him. “No? You think I should have?”
“Maybe.”
“I wouldn’t be here if I had. And I won’t call them either in the near future. It won’t change anything.”
His face changed. Why did he worry about this? Yesterday he would have done anything to make me come with him. And now, all of a sudden, he wondered what my parents thought about all this?
“Andy, what’s your problem?”
“I don’t have one.”
“Of course you do.”
He sighed again. I clenched the teeth and continued to stare out of the window, through the pattering rain that had started a few minutes ago.
Finally, the drive had seemed like an eternity to me, we stopped in front of their hotel. Andy turned off the engine but none of us got out. Exertion filled the air and tied up my throat.
“You know” I started but I felt tears impending. I hesitated. A sob crawled up my throat so I pressed one hand on my mouth. I couldn’t imagine that the pain in my heart could become any bigger. I ran my tongue over my lower lip, then bit it.
Trembling I inhaled. “You know … this is want I want to do. There is no other solution because there is nothing else I want more Andy, nothing else … than being with you. I am aware of everything I’ll need to sacrifice and I’m aware of everybody I’ll have to lose …”
I sobbed wretchedly. Hot tears ran over my cheeks and down my neck. “And there were enough people” I continued and he listened. “who told me what could go wrong and I know that everything could go wrong but this time … I’ll risk it. I don’t want to know how disappointed my parents will be when they find out that I’m gone and I’m sure Vincent will tell them everything I told him about this. You know … it’s just … I don’t know who I can trust anymore except you. You’ve been changing everything in my life but in a good way. I don’t want to justify myself because I did something good for myself. And leaving has been good for me. And you need to know …”, I swallowed and gave him a short look. His facial expression testified to sympathy and love. “You need to know that I’m not crying because of you right now or because of anything you said. I’m crying because of all those things that will change and I don’t … I don’t know if I will ever get them back.”
I inhaled deeply and I could feel the strong coat of fear, desperation und hidden hate that was wrapped around my heart.
“You think you’ll regret it sometime. Don’t you?”
I was frightened. His voice sounded so cold like I’ve never had experienced it before.
I took a look at him. “No.” I replied but sounded uncertain myself. I swallowed. “Remorse is useless.” I said then and my voice sounded already strongerthan before. Andy raised an eyebrow and looked at him searching. “You think so?” he asked.
“Yes.” I answered. “I mean you decide yourself to do something before you do it, right? But if you’re not sure whetherthe consequences will be good or not, you shouldn’t do it. You don’t do anything, you don’t regret anything. I told you I’m scared of all those things that will come towards me in the future but I don’t regret getting into your car. Because I know you’ll be there.”
My voice had gained more and more strength. From his face I could read that he was surprised. Although my cheeks were still flushed and hot from crying I tried a confident smile. And he replied with it. After he had shook hands with me he got out of his car, walked around the car to open my door. Within seconds our hair and clothes were soaking wet. And we didn’t have an umbrella. Of course we didn’t.
Andy held me back when I wanted to run under the awning right above the hotel entrance.
He looked me deeply in the eyes,covered my face with his hands and bent down to me. Soon I could feel his gentle lips on mine. Between our lips I tasted the rain that still pattered down on us but I (or we) didn’t care about the cold.
We were still kissing when the car of another hotel guest stopped in front of the hotel.
We grinned at each other but I noticed the concerned look with which he eyed the entrance.
I smiled. This was typical of Andy. I grabbed his hand and pulled him to the entrance.
“You didn’t tell your guys, did you?”
I got an embarrassed smile. “Nope. I wasn’t sure…” He fold his fingers with mine.
I sighed cheerfully. “That’s why I love you.”
okay I finally read it and its really good
1/13/14