Will this ever work?

It was late when I came home. The evening had actually really become great. Partying with CC, Jinxx and Jake was one of the funniest things I’d ever done. Even though the fact that Ashley left pretty early and I couldn’t help thinking it was because of me put a little damper on me, it was an awesome party. All the more I was looking forward to coming home again. Throughout the whole evening I had felt a little lost because Andy hadn’t been at my side. It was about half past midnight when I arrived and unlocked the door of Andy’s house. He had given me the keys as a present for my birthday 2 months ago. I threw them on the small table in the corridor just as my jacket; trying to be as quiet as possible since I didn’t want to wake up Andy from whom I knew that he was already sleeping (from the outside I had seen that all the lights in the house were off). But this time I was wrong. From our living room still came a soft light. I contracted my eyebrows and slowly went down the corridor until I reached the (door-less) passage on my right side that led to our living room. And my heart began to race.
No. Please. No.
The first thing I saw when I squinted around the corner was an almost empty bottle of vodka on the floor.
Oh God.
Every inch of my body strained as soon as I heard it. As soon as I heard her.
I pressed myself with the back against the thin wall that still separated me from his cruel betrayal.
I swallowed, already felt the clod that had formed inside my throat and closed the eyes, as if to calm myself. I knew I had to look around the corner to be 100 % sure but I struggled against it. My hands began to sweat with fear and my legs were already shaking. I didn’t want to see that. I didn’t want to see how he cheated on me. What I was able to hear was enough.
Carefully I risked one more look; let my eyes slowly wander to the big couch – and my heart broke.
This picture ate holes in my heart, made my entire body shaking so I wasn’t able to stand upright anymore. I saw the tattoos and I saw his face. I COULDN’T deny it. I couldn’t deny that he touched her, kissed her; couldn’t deny that both of them were naked. But my mind refused to believe it.
Aghast, completely speechless I slid down to the ground, leant my head against the wall behind which he unscrupulously destroyed my world.
I heard them moan.
Hot tears were running over my cheeks.
I pressed my hands on my mouth so that I couldn’t hear my own sob. Like hypnotized I stared straight ahead, not able to close my eyes because I knew as soon as I did I’d see them. As if someone would have carved the picture into my lid.
Meanwhile I could already taste the salt between my lips; I wasn’t able to swallow anymore.
Why? God, Andy, why?
The door opened. I experienced it like a dream. I had not locked up.
I turned the head in direction of the person standing in the door and staring at me.
Why he?
I didn’t have an idea why my lips were moving.
“Ashley…”
At first he looked at me very confused until it also reached his ears. And then the absolute shock spread on his face.
Through the veil of tears I looked up to him and murmured his name over and over again. And why. Why.
It took him a while to realize what was happening right now but then he kneeled before me and held out his hands. I immediately seized them and he pulled me up; tears were gleaming in his eyes. He laid one finger on his lips and we left the house. Ashley’s car was standing there, with running engine and without a word I got in. I didn’t even get where we were driving but I noticed the horrified silence between us. Tears were still rolling down my cheeks, continuous. After an I-don’t-know-how-long drive we got out and then I saw that we had obviously arrived at his apartment.
I couldn’t handle it anymore. But Ashley was there.
As soon as we were inside I completely bursted into tears. Ashley hugged me and I clung to him as if he was the only hold I had left. Because he felt the same pain as I did and he became weak. His arms weren’t able to hold me anymore and I sank to the ground right in front of him, my fingers still clutched at his black shirt. I sobbed.
“Why? Ashley … tell me why … it’s not …” trembling I gasped for breath, “why?”
He sat down in front of me and gently took my hand. “I’m so sorry…” he whispered.
And then, in an awkward moment of silence and … fascination, he just looked me in the eyes. And looked. And looked. And then he came closer.

Notes