In The End

Jake has been a total sweet heart to me these last few weeks we’ve been ‘together’, he’s been really understanding with taking everything slow and I’m really grateful for that. Everyone seems really worried about me too. I’ve barely uttered two words without Jake, Sammi or Karly to whisper it into their ears, and it’s making Jinxx and Jake terrified. I could see why they were scared but my voice was always crapping out on me since the accident. I became more quiet and reserved, but yet I’d still act like myself around the guys and Karly.
Oh did I tell you? The guys took Karly’s parents to court for custody and we won! She took Ashley’s last name and I was smiling brighter than the sun that day. So we currently have Karly Purdy and Abigail Ferguson as the kids of the five. I must say though, they do baby us. But I can’t say we don’t like it.
“Abby?” A voice sounded from the steps. I turned my head looking up at the long haired man who held a frown upon his face. I smiled at him softly before taking my notebook and writing down carefully.
“Yes Jinxx?” I held up the paper as he walked down the steps into the living room. He sighed softly sitting next to me, then hugged me tightly.
“Abby, I miss your voice. We all need to hear your laugh and your sweet voice singing again. So I was thinking, if you don’t try to keep talking we’ll have to send you to somewhere where they can help you. It’s been over month since the accident and we moved back to LA and It’s been over a month since you’ve stopped talking.” I set down my notebook and coughed into my elbow, trying to hold back the tears. I should ‘a known. I opened my mouth and tried to tell him I’ve been trying but no words came out. So I picked up my notebook.
“I have been trying. I have to whisper and half the time no one can hear it. I’m going for a walk. Don’t try to follow me.” I stood abruptly and made my way to the door, slipping on my shoes and hoodie before slamming the door shut. It was getting colder out even though it was at the end of September. I wasn’t a big fan of shorts so I was just wearing tan capris along with an “Oh The Humanity!” Hoodie.
I made my way down the empty street with my wallet full of cash and my phone blasting Green Day’s Wake Me Up When September Ends into my ears. My thoughts clouded but still fighting against the music. I knew I needed to talk again, in fact I missed talking and singing. It was always my Therapy. And speaking of Therapy, the song came on making me sigh.
I needed to sing again. I needed to let words fly past my lips into the air blending with the sweet melody. I made my way down the streets, and made my way into a smaller coffee shop. It was cozy and inviting, making me smile at the girl behind the counter.
“Heya Abby! You’re back here doll! I’ve missed you.” She said pulling me behind the counter and hugging me tightly. I kissed her cheek as my way of saying hello. “How ya been? Still not talking?” I shook my head before trying to speak again. It came out as a whisper but still she heard me.
“I’ve been trying Lily. You know that dork. It’s just been hard to talk louder than this.” She nodded with a smile on her lips. Lily was originally from Salem, Ma and she was a cool chick. When We first moved here, I ran off for a bit with Karly and Jake. He showed K and I where the coffee shop was and we’ve been going there for a while now. I always got the same Hot Chocolate with whipped cream and extra marshmallows no matter what the season.
“Here you go Doll.” Lily said handing me my hot chocolate then sat down next to me.
“Thanks Lil.” I replied taking a sip of the chocolaty perfection. Ahh…It slid smoothly down the throat and it wasn’t too hot but not too cold either. Maybe it was that I was used to the extreme cold but I loved feeling warm all the time, No matter where.
“Have you tried talking to your brother? I’d understand if you haven’t but he’s worried sick you know.” I sighed hearing those words. Why is it that always when I try to do something people always want to butt into my business? I set the mug own and began to bite my lip. How could I tell her He wanted to send me off when I’ve been trying my hardest to speak to him, but yet no words can come from my lips?
I nodded with a sigh then stood up carefully. I pushed my chair in, picked up my cup and waved at Lily.
“Bye Abby. Come by later or I will.” She said and I nodded walking out with my Hot Chocolate into the Warm LA air. It was starting to get dark out and you could feel the rain ready to fall in through the air. I ran down the street to the house only to be stopped by a big buff guy and his buddies. I tried walking around them but the one grabbed my arm and pulled me into him.
“Hey sugar. Wanna have some fun?” He asked and I shook my head and tried to pull away from him. I pulled harder as he kept a tight grip around my wrist. “Oh come on. Don’t be shy.” The other said grabbing my other arm and pulling me into the alley. I was going to be raped. O.O My eyes widened as he pulled at my hoodie and his friend tried pulling my pants down.
I fought against them as much as I could. But after a while I just gave up and cried while they raped me. It felt dirty and wrong. Only after they had their fills of me, I was left alone and they walked away leaving me completely naked and sobbing.
The rain began to pour from the sky in buckets and buckets upon the street, and I could hear my phone’s ring tone going off almost every minute with either texts or missed phone calls but I didn’t give a flying fuck. I could hear people in concerned hushed voices and footsteps run past the alley without a second thought but I was so tired. I was so tired and sore. I felt dirty and nothing would ever change. I winced as I moved my arm against the brick wall and dumpster that stood strong next to me. It hurt even more to stand but I pulled my clothes back on shakily and tried to make myself look a bit more presentable.
I walked out of the alley, tears still cascading down my cheeks into the downpour. Making my way down the blocks to the house, I couldn’t help but feel like I deserved it. If it wasn’t for me throwing a fit and yelling/writing at Jinxx to leave me alone maybe this wouldn’t have happened. I felt my phone buzz in my pocket and I pulled it out of my pocket.
32 missed calls and 113 text messages awaited me as I unlocked it and saw the newest one, from an unknown number. ‘I gave myself the privilege to add your cell # into ur phone. ;3 I hope u enjoyed it as much as I did’ was spelled out in plain black & white for me. My eyes widened at the text and if I couldn’t possibly cry more, I did. I walked up the steps; soaking wet, still crying and numb, only to see that everyone except for Karly and Jinxx were out looking like they were dead. Jinxx wasn’t in the living room but I could hear him and Karly in the kitchen doing something.
No one heard the door open but when I knocked on the wall, Jake’s head shot up from his hands and Sammi leaped over Andy who was lying on the floor silently drawing. I slowly pulled my soaked shoes and hoodie off of my sore body without trying to make anyone suspicious but they were everything but not watching me like a hawk.
“Abigail Nicole!” Sammi cried out loudly. “Where the fuck were you?!” I looked down at the carpet that was starting to turn a dark greyish color from my clothes. The tears were cascading down my face as Jinxx, Jake, Karly and them crowded around me. I felt like I couldn’t breathe, slowly sliding down the wall my shirt came up and Jake saw the faint outlines of bruises appearing on my hips.
Questions were flying at me faster than I could answer them until Jake turned to Jinxx and whispered into his ear. My brother’s face dropped into a frightened expression as he kneeled down in front of my sobbing being. He brought his hand up and caressed my cheek and I flinched bring my knees close to my chest.
“Oh my God. What happened to you Abby?” He asked holding his hands out to me and I crawled into his lap, sniffling. I held onto his shirt tightly as I shook my head quickly trying to stop the tears. Everything was wrong now. I couldn’t fix anything and I’d always be a pathetic broken doll for the rest of my life.
“Come on. I’m just going to pick you up and bring you upstairs. You’re shaking and that’s not good. You’re going to catch your death Princess. Come on.” Jinxx urged me on as he lifted my body up with his strong arms and then carried me up the stairs. Despite any efforts, I couldn’t stop crying. It just was so difficult, I mean really.
“Jinxx,” I whispered as he opened the door to the bathroom; “Don’t let me go. Please.” I looked up at my brother as his jaw dropped to the ground and he held me close. I could only imagine that my voice sounded like shit because it felt like some took sandpaper to the inside of my throat.
“Oh Princess!” He exclaimed and kissed my head. “I’m not going to let you go, but you need to get warm fast. I know it’ll be okay. Trust me.” He said and I nodded as he left the room, calling for Sammi and Karly to help me. He didn’t wanna freak me out so he left the room as the girls ran in and began to help me get a bath.
“Oh Abby, what happened to you?” Sammi asked pulling my shirt above my head because I didn’t want to move from my seat on the toilet lid. I shivered as the wet fabric was pulled off of my icy skin and Karly filled up the big bathtub with steaming hot water.
“I…I went to the Coffee shop and umm…I left like 30 minutes to an hour later.” I paused walking over to the water and stepped in. Ouch!! The contrast of the hot water and how cold my skin was unbearable.
“Continue.” Karly said not looking up from the clothes that lay on the tile. There was a puddle around them now…I looked at the clothes for quite a time. I was so lost in thought that I almost didn’t even feel Sammi’s hand being placed onto my shoulder and shaking it.
“Huh?” I asked looking up at her as she nodded for me to continue. And so I did. “I left after 30 minutes to an hour and it was starting to get dark while I was walking home. I was pulled into an alley by a few older guys and umm…”I paused feeling the salty tears slide down my cheeks and into the hot water. “I feel so disgusting. Like all over. Everywhere they touched me. I can’t escape from it. Sammi…Karly…do something.” I begged wrapping my arms tightly around myself. It was no use, Crying wouldn’t do anything to help me. Sulking around wouldn’t either. I needed to clean myself up and then get on with my life. Just leap over this.
I reached down, pulling a wash cloth from the hook and picked up the soap from behind me and began to scrub myself clean. Sammi and Karly just stood in the back, watching my every move but it wasn’t like I was going anywhere. I just kept scrubbing myself clean when I heard the door open.
I turned my head to face Jinxx who was holding a pile of my clothing as Sammi whispered into his ear. I can only imagine what she told him. But I knew it wasn’t good from the face he made. He carefully set the clothing down on the back of the toilet and walked out. I let out a sigh before looking at the two females who stood at guard.
“Go. Please.” I pleaded softly before making my voice louder and somewhat stronger. “Out. I need to wash my hair now. So get out of the bathroom. I don’t give a shit if you stand outside the door but I’m not going to get hurt again.” Sammi gave me a little smile as Karly looked completely horrified, but yet very pleased with me.
“We’ll be outside. Holler if you need us.” Sammi said grabbing Karly’s hand and leading her out the door. I let out a loud sigh as I picked my body up out of the tub to drain the water. Once I did, I turned the shower head on letting the jets of hot water beat against my tired body. It hit my back like little fists that massaged my skin and muscles.
“ahhh.”; Slipped out from my lips as I buried my face under the hot streams. It burned a bit but oh did it feel good. I massaged the shampoo into my hair, frowning in disgust as white bits of cum was washed out of my hair. Gross. I rinsed my hair, turned off the faucet and steps out of the tub while wrapping black towel around my body.
“Abigail?” A familiar voice sounded outside the door making me look up from the clothes that lay on the toilet seat.
“Yes?”
“Are you okay?” Jacob asked from the other side.
“I’m not okay.” I answered in a shaky voice as I pulled a pair of boxers over my legs.
“Anything I can do to make you better?” He asked as I reached over to the bra that lay onto of the shirt and I swiftly pulled it on.
“Just come into the bathroom please.” I said as he opened the door, I bent down to pull my pants up. He stood still in the doorway, just watching my movements like a hawk. It was slightly awkward, the tension between us as I began to tie the lounge pants.
“Abigail,” Jake paused softly, his eyes sweeping my body. I took my time to answer for my bra was stuck and I was trying to untie it.
“Ummm…Could you help me unknot it? Its sorta stuck.” I replied holding out the bra to him. He chuckled softly as he took it from my hand and easily untied it.
“Here you go.” He breathed out trying not to look at my chest. I could see the pink twinge to his cheeks and it made me giggle slightly. How could he be so modest and sweet? Oh he was so adorable. I took the bra from him and slipped it on along with the Pittsburg Penguins slim fit tee that was starting to get large on me over my skin, all the while Jake had turned around to face the door and was fiddling with a hand towel with ‘A’ embroiled into it.
“Thanks a lot Jacob.” I pronounced his full first name with a bit of awe. He had such a beautiful name. It meant the “supplemented’ ‘the heal’ he was my rock. He kept me grounded no matter what happened.
“Of course. I wanted to ask about what happened with today. I was supposed to pick you up here around 2 and you weren’t here. What happened?”
I froze and my smile fell from my face.
“Oh umm, I got mad at Jinxx around 1;30 and I ran out of the house. I then proceeded to walk to the coffee shop and stay there for an hour or so. I just kept walking around aimlessly then it got dark because of the rain and I made my way home.” I paused to bite my lip as his lips formed an ‘0’ shape.
“So you were…” He didn’t finish his sentence, obviously wanted to be proved wrong.
“Yeah.” I breathed out looking at the ground. The silence was unbearable. I couldn’t bear to look at him. What was I going to do? I could get pregnant. Or I don’t know what’ll happen. But I am so ashamed.
“I’m so sorry Abigail.” Jake said walking closer to me. I braced myself for pain to be hit or hurt. He could sense my body becoming ridged and raised his hand up and placed it on my shoulder. I watched his lips move but no words sounded in my ears. Tears gathered in my eyes as I tried to fight them down. I pulled away from Jake’s arm and whirled around to face the mirror.
The reflection spoke to me. It was rude and I didn’t know what to say in response. I watched the girl in the mirror, the one with a self-satisfied smirk and the dark evil glint in her eyes. “Hey Bitch! Yes you, You’re a fucking slut! You cunt! You look like you got hit by a steamroller and they rolled you over a hundred times! You’re hair looks like shit all the time. You’re such a wanker and a bitch. You don’t deserve to live. You cut your wrists and swallow a bottle of pills. You fat fucking cunt!” I swallowed and blinked back tears.
“Abigail?” Jake asked and I turned to hear his voice full on. It was more terrifying than anything to actually think that she was right. He pulled me into his strong chest and he kissed my head over and over.
“Abigail Nicole Franklin, I love you and I will never hurt you I promise.” He spoke softly, holding me close and my walls fell down. I wouldn’t try to hurt them again and I am going to fight against my demons.

Notes

So sorry about the wait. I havn't been doing well and well it sucks. Well I love you guys.
Please comment. I'll be updating once a month because of everything and I start Therapy soon so I don't know what to do really.
xoxo Stay Strong