"I didn't mind the beating cold rain running down my face. No one could see the tears. The tears I kept locked away since I was 18. Every regret of losing Alexis, when I could have stopped it. Ever fear of finding Andy again, rushed threw me at once, running down my face just to be washed way by the rain. I could taste the salt of the tears mixed with the sweetness of the rain, making a bittersweet feeling dance in my heart. I looked at the dark sky feeling drops splash on my cheek softly. I sighed, a slight smile on my face as the memory played threw my head.


I sat at the park my clothes clinging to my small frame, soaked in rain. I jumped when I heard the clack of thunder over my head. I looked up to have rain drops hit my cheeks. I watched as the sky lit up for a moment then everything went black again. I lade back on the table I was sitting, a sigh left my mouth as I sunk into my thoughts.

"Why are you laying on a table in the rain?" Asked a soft yet slightly deep voice.
I sat up to see a boy my age with bright sapphire blue eyes and black hair.
"I like the rain. It's a good place to hide." I said shrugging
It didn't really matter if I tried to hide my life from him. I remember seeing him at school, so he most likely knew about me. Everyone at school did. It's kinda hard when you have to wear long sleeves in summer to hide the marks.
Oddly enough he didn't seem bothered by what I said instead he sat on the table beside me.
"The dark is a good place to hide, so easy to get lost in. The rain is only good for hiding tears." He said smiling at me. making my cheeks get warm.
"I'm Andy."
"Emily." I said as butterflies danced in my stomach.


I danced around my room to no music just words, words that I have remember from hearing them so much.
I screamed loudly when I felt arms wrap around my waist. I turned my head to see the baby blues of my best friend Andy.
"Damn it Andy you scared me!" I said smacking his arm as I turned to face him.
"Well maybe you should not have your window wide open, plus do you know its raining."
"Yes I know it's raining, why do you think my window is open, you know how much I love the rain." I said as I sat down on the wooden bench under my window.
I felt soft sprinkles of water bounce off the window seal and on to my left arm and cheek.
"I know you do but still not smart to leave it open." He said sitting beside me
"Okay batman I promise not to leave my window open anymore. So what made you want to come see me today?"
"Just felt like dropping in and seeing how you were doing. Hows things with your dad."
"Good he left for rehab yesterday so I will be hope alone for the next three months." I said shrugging.
I didn't really care what happened to my dad he was away from me so that's all that mattered.
"You should come over tonight so I wont be so bored."
"Yeah okay sounds fun. But hay I got to go, my mom wants me for something." Andy said looking at his phone.
I moved out of his way as he started to crawl out of my window. I was on the ground floor so all he had to do was step out the window.
"Hey Em?"
"Yeah?" I said putting my head out the window
My breath caught in my throat as I felt soft warm lips pressed to my cold dry ones. It all seemed to happen in slow motion but speed up as well. I felt the blood run up my neck to rest in my cheeks as Andy's hand ran threw my hair, making me snap out of my day dream. But it was to late. Andy pulled away from me and just smiled, that half grin half smirk that sent shivers down my spine. And with that he walked away. Into the rain.



I wished I would have said something, or kissed back at lest. Maybe he would not have left without saying good bye. That was the last time I saw Andy. At the age of 17 I had my first kiss with my best friend just for it to haunt me for years. Soon after I realized that he left for LA. Amy and Chris told me when he called so I would know he was alright, They would always say that he said that he would come back and get me. Take me to a better place. I held on to that hope till I 18 by then I was just lying to myself. He was not coming back for me. Why would he, I was just broken remains of a girl that never should have been born.

I took a deep breath to clear my head of all my thoughts. My body seemed to move on its own to keep me out of the rain. I was in a huge building with a stage and tons of seats. I somehow found myself at the piano, my fingers playing a slow tune. I took a deep breath and let the all to familiar words roll past my lip.

There's so much that I would say if I could see you one last time.
But now I can't 'cause you're not here but you're always on my mind.
When I look up and you're not there, when I lie awake at night
All these things I ask myself and I don't know why.


(When it's the first time)
When is the first time that you'll never see someone again?
(When it's the last time)
When it's the last time you weren't ready for it to end?
When will I leave you standing alone there in the dark?
(It's never easy)
They're never easy but sometimes, goodbyes are so hard, they're so hard.


When it's the first time that you'll never see someone again?
When it's the last time you weren't ready for it to end?
When will I leave you standing alone there in the dark?
They're never easy but sometimes goodbyes are so hard, they're so hard.


I look ahead but can't move on, I look back but I can't stay.
And I keep tryin to be strong, but this pain, it won't go away.
And I hope this will heal in time 'cause I can't go on like this,
And right now I would give my life for one last kiss.


(When it's the first time)
When is the first time that you'll never see someone again?
(When it's the last time)
When it's the last time you weren't ready for it to end?
When will I leave you standing alone there in the dark?
(It's never easy)
They're never easy but sometimes, goodbyes are so hard, they're so hard.


You'll be there on my mind, standing in the sunshine.


(When it's the first time)
When it's the first time that you'll never see someone again?
(When it's the last time)
When it's the last time you weren't ready for it to end?
When will I leave you standing alone there in the dark?
(It's never easy)
They're never easy but sometimes, goodbyes are so hard, they're so hard.

"You wrote that about Andy didn't you?" Asked someone from behind me.
I turned to oddly enough see Jake standing at the side of the stage. I could see the sadness in his brown eyes, for once I welcomed the pity. I was just once again pushed away from a part of me, and I didn't understand why. Did I do something bad to deserve this?
All I did was nod knowing that if I spoke I would lose it.
"He has never heard it?"
Again I just moved my head. I didn't want to hear my voice crack with tears. I promised myself that I would not cry anymore and if I really had to it would not be in front of someone I don't even know.
"Want to go back to the bus? Juliet is not there. She left to do her show and I don't think anyone knows how to take care of Andy." He said sitting beside me.
He looked down at the piano and started to press down the keys making a soft tune rang out in the building.
"It was odd seeing him like that. When he gets sick he always just stays tucked away in his bunk and only seems to come out when everyone is gone or sleeping. But seeing him so pale and out of it. It was just kinda like having the wind knocked out of you. I don't know maybe it was the fact that he was on the couch and letting you take care of him that shocked me."
"What do you mean?" I asked glad that my voice sounded normal
"I mean he never lets anyone take care of him. Like I said when he is sick he is always in his bunk. No one sees him really 'till he gets better, so to see him just out in the open laying on you, was just very shocking."
"Sound like him. Then again we were always like that when we were younger. Believe it or not but Andy was the only one that ever seen me cry I was the only one that he let take care of him when he was sick or something like that. His mom could see him yeah but I was the only one of his friends that could. I guess since we have seen each other at our lowest he didn't really mind letting me do it again."
"He told me about your hand. Though I had a feeling who did it since CC was going on about 7 years of good luck. Still I was a bit shocked to see that you could do that to a mirror, remind me to never get on your bad side." He said smiling at me.
It was real smile, not just a 'I'm smiling to make you feel better smile'. I could not help but smile back hoping that he understood that I was not big on talking about all my feelings so soon of me knowing him.
"So are you going to come back with me. Andy made Juliet leave and he went back to his bunk and has not came out since. I'm sure he will be fine but I think that he will be better off with you there taking care of him."
"I'll come back to take care of him but I'm not going to try being nice to Juliet anymore. She crossed the line." I said standing up
"That's all I can ask for."
I smiled and walked out of the building to see that the rain had stopped but it was pitch black outside.
"Whoa how long was I gone?"
"About 2 hours almost 3." I was going to leave as soon as I found out what happened but Andy made me promise to make me give you a hour. By then you had already been gone a hour."
"Well at lest he remembered that it takes me a good while to clam down." I said smiling
"I think he remembers a lot more then what you think."

I didn't really understand what Jake meant but I didn't feel like worrying about it so I didn't ask. With that said me and Jake started our long walk back to the bus.

Notes

Song is not mine it it GoodByes by 3 doors down. I really hope you guess liked things even though nothing really happened in it. I will try to make better longer parts more often. I'm half asleep right now so if a lot of this is missed spelled I'm sorry it don't make since. Thank you for reading my story, I hope you have a awesome day and I guess that is.
Bye my loves