Seasons Are Changing and Waves Are Crashing
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Christian
“What the hell is with Rachel and that guy she was with?” I asked, collecting another empty bottle of alcohol and taking it into the kitchen. I got there just in time to see the glance between Juliet and Andy. Jinxx and Sammi had just left so I was the last one to leave.
“It’s complicated,” Juliet said, putting something into the dish washer.
“You really like her, don’t you?” Andy stated more than asked, putting his hands around Juliet’s waist as she was bent down, cuddling her from behind when she stood. I shrugged in response. Andy pecked Juliet’s left cheek.
Juliet sighed at me. “CC, I don’t recommend getting caught up with her. She’s taken.... plus, their relationship is... its problematic already,” she told me, concerned. I knew she didn’t want me to get hurt. And I knew she didn’t know what I knew.
“You mean by ‘problematic’ that he physically hurts her?” I asked her straight out. Juliet stood still and Andy stopped what he was doing – putting the detergent into the dishwasher.
“How can you tell?” Juliet asked in a low voice.
“She had broken and bruised fingers,” Andy gave Juliet a worried glance. “I don’t know how she managed to eat properly but she did... not that she ate very much,” I added. Juliet closed her eyes.
“Yes, he physically hurts her,” Andy said, closing the machine.
“Has done for a very long time,” Juliet added. Andy nodded slowly.
“It’s not righ-”
“We know,” Juliet cut in, “but there’s nothing we can do. If too many people get involved – if too many people know – it just makes it worse,” she explained. “Please, Rachel wouldn’t want you to get involved.”
“I know. Both of them are aware I know,” I said and the second I did, Juliet dropped the glass she had just washed and was about to put away.
“I have to go,” she said, turning around and looking for something.
“Was it what I said?” I asked, concern lacing my voice.
“Something like that,” she murmured, flying out the sliding door at the side of the house. Andy sighed as the door slammed and ran his hand through his hair.
“She shouldn’t be involved either! I keep telling her it’s going to get ugly but she won’t listen,” Andy confessed.
“You don’t want to help her?” I asked him, almost angry. Why did I feel so protective?
“No, I do. It’s unacceptable and shouldn’t happen to someone so undeserving of it like Rach... she’s lovely. Not that it should happen to anyone,” he added. “It’s just that I care about Juliet more.”
Juliet
The first thing I looked for when hurrying over there was whether there were any lights on in the house. There didn’t seem to be any. Nor did I see a car in the drive so I hoped Callum was not there. I went to the back door like I had been the last couple of times I’ve been there. I knocked on the glass.
“Rach? Are you there?” I called. There was no response. “Rach, are you okay?” I asked, slowly sliding the door open, thankful it wasn’t locked. I crept through the dark and shadowy kitchen to the even darker passage.
“Rach?” I repeated. “Callum?” I said, a little more quietly.
“He’s not here,” I heard a whisper glide down from up the stairs. I looked up to see Rachel sitting at the top near the bedroom doorway. I bounded up those stairs to see what I’d been dreading.
She sat near the corner of a wall with a bucket inside the bedroom, scrubbing off blood which had splattered on the paint. CC’s observation was confirmed. She unmistakably had broken fingers. They were spotted with purple and yellow and stuck out in unnatural directions. She was using the palm of her hand to scrub using the cloth.
There was blood which had run from her nose and hardened. She had a brown gash vertically down her face through her eye. It was starting to swell around it. Her hair was messy having been using to control and move her with force. Her clothes weren’t sitting right on her body, revealing more red and purple bruises particularly around the abdominal and rib area. The collar of her shirt had been scrunched out of place, revealing nail marks sheered with the body’s crimson substance which had been dug into the top of her chest.
I tried not to make a sound as I sat down beside her, noticing the fresh and oozing blood slashed across the top of her back, working its way through her shirt. She’s obviously been hit with something – something with a sharp edge.
“Are you okay?” I asked, knowing it was a stupid question. That wasn’t the point. The point was to show I cared and was concerned.
“Yes,” Rachel whispered, continuing to work the cloth up and down the doorframe. A moment of silence went by. Rach put the cloth into the bucket once she managed to get the blood to almost gone.
“I know you think I’m stupid,” Rach said quietly, huddling close beside me.
“No. No I don’t and neither does Andy,” I replied, putting my hand on her right shoulder lightly.
With that, she started to laugh. It was shallow and I didn’t know how to respond. Then the laugh turned into crying.
“Hey, hey, shh,” I cooed, pulling her closer gently. She sobbed for a bit as I told her she was a lovely person who was not worthless and was not like how he made her feel. I got a few genuine smiles out of her.
“You know,” she sniffed, “he wasn’t always like this.” She wiped her eyes using her sleeves before doing the same to the blood under her nose. I noticed there were more dark blemishes on her sleeve than the ones she created however they were more faded. How many times had he made her bleed?
“I know, sweetie,” I said, rubbing her back soothingly. Her tears were drying up. She let out an exasperating sigh.
“We were high school sweethearts. We dated all through school. He was the perfect boyfriend. He’d give me flowers and spoil me way too much on Valentine’s Day. I was so stupid. I thought we were going to finish school, get married and maybe even start a family.
“When we did finally graduate, we moved in and things got... tense. He was controlling and at first I just thought it was because he was struggling with keeping a house for us and not having a job and things; I found things to blame his behaviour on. He forced a wedge between us and my parents. He forced me to be on his side and was cunning enough to wait for the relationship to become so ruined that when he started hitting me, I wouldn’t go to them. I wouldn’t go to the authorities. I wouldn’t because... depression.
“I felt so lonely. I just kept thinking: ‘Oh, it’ll be okay. He keeps promising to stop so he will. He loves me. He doesn’t mean it,” she began crying again. “Sometimes I still make myself think that,” she admitted, “but when I say it out loud even I know I sound ridiculously stupid.” I kept rubbing her back. She needed to get it all out. It had taken years for all this to build up and she needed release. She drew in a raggedy breath before silence befell us.
“What are you going to do now?” I asked, concerned for my friend. The girl shrugged.
“Life goes on, doesn’t it?”
“I suppose it does. You can come and stay at ours for a while, if you like,” I offered. “Just get away for a while?”
“He wouldn’t be happy with that,” she told me.
“Rach, is there anything you can do that he’ll approve of? It’s psychological abuse - you can’t live your life pleasing him when it’s impossible to do. One person isn’t the controller of another. Those times are long over. You’re as human as he is,” I told her. She rubbed at her eyes.
“Come on, you’re coming home with me. You look so tired; you need a decent night of sleep,” I rubbed her arm calmingly. She whispered an ‘okay’ before I cautiously led her away from the abode of torture.
We came to the side door of the house and Rach saw CC in the living room waiting for us.
“Actually, I changed my mind,” she said, her voice full of nervousness.
“What? Why?!” I asked her, bewildered.
“I can’t ruin your evening,” she said, trying to turn away from me lightly holding her side.
“This is because of CC, isn’t it?” I asked her.
“Well, yes,” she admitted, “but also anyone else still left,” she added quickly. That was interesting.
“I can’t darken your party Juliet,” she told me.
“Look, CC knows, okay? He’s the only one left and the only one who knows. You’ve nothing to hide from him. Please, I want you to be safe. I want you to have a night you’re not living in fear or unsafe and I don’t worry for you,” I said.
“But... He’s the reason... I just... It’s because he knows that set Callum off. I-I can’t. If Callum finds out he’ll go ballistic,” she was struggling to keep her composure. I could hear it in her tone alone. She kept trying to turn away from the house. I wouldn’t let her.
“Just one night. You need it. We’ll help clean you up! You don’t have to be alone in this. We can get you back there early in the morning if you’d like,” I tried to coax her. She looked scared but seemed to be contemplating my offer. How could she live in fear - fear in her own home and fear to leave?
“Okay, just this once and if you see Callum’s car-”
“I know, I’ll tell you.” I promised.
“C-can we go around a different way?” she asked looking discomfited.
“No problem,” I told her, leading her to the other side of the house to the garage door. I knew she was embarrassed and didn’t want to be seen in such a state. I didn’t blame her.
Christian
I was there when Juliet can to the side door with a very bloody Rachel. As soon as Rachel saw me, she turned in the other direction. I watched with Andy through the window as Juliet and Rachel argued over something - presumably me being there.
“Maybe I should leave? It would make her more comfortable,” I said to Andy.
“It won’t matter if Juliet tells her I guess,” Andy sighed. He and Juliet must have had arguments about this.
“I think I will,” I said, grabbing my jacket which was draped across the new leather couch.
“CC, please don’t,” he told me. “You shouldn’t feel like you should have to.”
“No, I’ll make things worse,” I replied.
“No you won’t. I know you. You always make light of the situation. Please stay, you’ll make things less tense,” I was flattered.
“Thanks,” I said shyly, “that means a lot,” I told him.
“Plus, you staying would give Rachel some piece of mind if you promise not to tell anybody,” he added.
“What makes you think she’ll trust me?” I asked him, not expecting an answer.
There was a bang from the other side of the house, presumably from a door slamming shut. We heard some shuffling and low talking before another door shutting.
“I’ll make some tea. Do you want a hot chocolate or something?” Andy offered. I nodded a ‘please’.
After about 20 minutes of chatting around the kitchen, we heard two pairs of feet make their way to the lounge room. Both Andy and I turned to the two women who had sat down on the couch side by side. Quiet things were said between them.
“You should reassure her you won’t spread her secret,” Andy whispered before motioning for us to join them.
We went over silently and the whole house was quiet but tense. Also – for me – a little awkward. Rach looked on edge and was avoiding eye contact with anyone but Juliet. I tried not to frown at the abrasions and bruises on her face. It made me want to build her a jumpy castle out of pillows and foam and build a medieval torture chamber complete with 6 lions to banish Callum to his death. I wanted it to be so constricting, it locked his soul for eternity within its walls.
“Hey, how are you feeling?” Andy asked.
“Okay,” she said as loud as a mouse. Juliet, Andy and I all shared looks. “Really, I’m fine,” she said with more effort to persuade us.
“Would you like a drink? How about something to eat?” Juliet offered. She shook her head in response.
“No thank you, you filled me up at lunch,” she gave a small smile which made me almost cringe – I wonder how many times she’d had to do that under these circumstances.
“Too bad! You have to try my hot chocolate. I make a mean hot chocolate,” Juliet said before leaving for the kitchen. No one said anything as both Andy and I sat down and Rachel played with her fingers – the ones that weren’t broken.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Andy asked her. She nodded, looking even more uncomfortable.
“I could drive you to the hospital if you need,” I proposed. She seemed somewhat annoyed.
“No, thank you. It’s fine. Don’t worry about me,” she said. I wanted to hug her. I wanted to stroke her head and tell her she didn’t deserve all the wrong that had been done to her. That she didn’t cause it. That life is better. Life can be warm and full of sunshine and rain and growth.
“Andy, can you get something down for me? It’s up too high,” Juliet called from the kitchen. Andy’s expression to me as he left indicated the call was to have me and Rachel alone.
Juliet
I took Rach into the bathroom, warmed up some water and began dabbing away and disinfecting the gashes. After I asked her to, she removed her shirt and I wanted to vomit when. I’d never seen so much yellow and purple and blue mixed with red in my life. My mouth fell open and she wouldn’t look at me – not even through the mirror. She looked so ashamed. She didn’t say a word as I dabbed away.
Once I was finished with the gashes and removed the gunk from the slash across her back, I put my index finger under her chin to make her look me in the eye.
“How many times have you been in this situation?” I asked.
“You mean, in a neighbour’s house like this or... hurt?” she asked, the volume going from normal to almost impossible to hear.
“Retreating to a neighbour’s house,” I confirmed. She put her arms around herself and lost my eye sight again.
“I don’t... I don’t let people in. Not after the first time.”
“What happened?”
“The first friend I made when I was with Callum after we’d finished school was a lady who I used to work with. He hit me to a point further than he had before... and it scared me. I couldn’t go to work – everyone would see – so I decided to go to her house.
“She asked me straight out if Callum bashed me and straight out I admitted it. For the first time I said it out loud. When I went home, Callum asked me if I had told her. I lied,” I heard her swallow.
“He went off his tree. He knew – he’d had the police around. This woman had called them,” she explained. My heart was racing in my chest for something that I had no control over – over something that had already happened.
“W-what did he..? What did he do?” I asked, fearful.
“I can’t tell you,” she squeaked.
“Rachel, you know you can tell me anything.”
“He almost strangled me to death. I fell unconscious and he rushed me to hospital out of guilt,” I shook my head in disapproval.
“That is...” I bit my lip in trepidation.
“Only after he raped me.”
“What the hell is with Rachel and that guy she was with?” I asked, collecting another empty bottle of alcohol and taking it into the kitchen. I got there just in time to see the glance between Juliet and Andy. Jinxx and Sammi had just left so I was the last one to leave.
“It’s complicated,” Juliet said, putting something into the dish washer.
“You really like her, don’t you?” Andy stated more than asked, putting his hands around Juliet’s waist as she was bent down, cuddling her from behind when she stood. I shrugged in response. Andy pecked Juliet’s left cheek.
Juliet sighed at me. “CC, I don’t recommend getting caught up with her. She’s taken.... plus, their relationship is... its problematic already,” she told me, concerned. I knew she didn’t want me to get hurt. And I knew she didn’t know what I knew.
“You mean by ‘problematic’ that he physically hurts her?” I asked her straight out. Juliet stood still and Andy stopped what he was doing – putting the detergent into the dishwasher.
“How can you tell?” Juliet asked in a low voice.
“She had broken and bruised fingers,” Andy gave Juliet a worried glance. “I don’t know how she managed to eat properly but she did... not that she ate very much,” I added. Juliet closed her eyes.
“Yes, he physically hurts her,” Andy said, closing the machine.
“Has done for a very long time,” Juliet added. Andy nodded slowly.
“It’s not righ-”
“We know,” Juliet cut in, “but there’s nothing we can do. If too many people get involved – if too many people know – it just makes it worse,” she explained. “Please, Rachel wouldn’t want you to get involved.”
“I know. Both of them are aware I know,” I said and the second I did, Juliet dropped the glass she had just washed and was about to put away.
“I have to go,” she said, turning around and looking for something.
“Was it what I said?” I asked, concern lacing my voice.
“Something like that,” she murmured, flying out the sliding door at the side of the house. Andy sighed as the door slammed and ran his hand through his hair.
“She shouldn’t be involved either! I keep telling her it’s going to get ugly but she won’t listen,” Andy confessed.
“You don’t want to help her?” I asked him, almost angry. Why did I feel so protective?
“No, I do. It’s unacceptable and shouldn’t happen to someone so undeserving of it like Rach... she’s lovely. Not that it should happen to anyone,” he added. “It’s just that I care about Juliet more.”
Juliet
The first thing I looked for when hurrying over there was whether there were any lights on in the house. There didn’t seem to be any. Nor did I see a car in the drive so I hoped Callum was not there. I went to the back door like I had been the last couple of times I’ve been there. I knocked on the glass.
“Rach? Are you there?” I called. There was no response. “Rach, are you okay?” I asked, slowly sliding the door open, thankful it wasn’t locked. I crept through the dark and shadowy kitchen to the even darker passage.
“Rach?” I repeated. “Callum?” I said, a little more quietly.
“He’s not here,” I heard a whisper glide down from up the stairs. I looked up to see Rachel sitting at the top near the bedroom doorway. I bounded up those stairs to see what I’d been dreading.
She sat near the corner of a wall with a bucket inside the bedroom, scrubbing off blood which had splattered on the paint. CC’s observation was confirmed. She unmistakably had broken fingers. They were spotted with purple and yellow and stuck out in unnatural directions. She was using the palm of her hand to scrub using the cloth.
There was blood which had run from her nose and hardened. She had a brown gash vertically down her face through her eye. It was starting to swell around it. Her hair was messy having been using to control and move her with force. Her clothes weren’t sitting right on her body, revealing more red and purple bruises particularly around the abdominal and rib area. The collar of her shirt had been scrunched out of place, revealing nail marks sheered with the body’s crimson substance which had been dug into the top of her chest.
I tried not to make a sound as I sat down beside her, noticing the fresh and oozing blood slashed across the top of her back, working its way through her shirt. She’s obviously been hit with something – something with a sharp edge.
“Are you okay?” I asked, knowing it was a stupid question. That wasn’t the point. The point was to show I cared and was concerned.
“Yes,” Rachel whispered, continuing to work the cloth up and down the doorframe. A moment of silence went by. Rach put the cloth into the bucket once she managed to get the blood to almost gone.
“I know you think I’m stupid,” Rach said quietly, huddling close beside me.
“No. No I don’t and neither does Andy,” I replied, putting my hand on her right shoulder lightly.
With that, she started to laugh. It was shallow and I didn’t know how to respond. Then the laugh turned into crying.
“Hey, hey, shh,” I cooed, pulling her closer gently. She sobbed for a bit as I told her she was a lovely person who was not worthless and was not like how he made her feel. I got a few genuine smiles out of her.
“You know,” she sniffed, “he wasn’t always like this.” She wiped her eyes using her sleeves before doing the same to the blood under her nose. I noticed there were more dark blemishes on her sleeve than the ones she created however they were more faded. How many times had he made her bleed?
“I know, sweetie,” I said, rubbing her back soothingly. Her tears were drying up. She let out an exasperating sigh.
“We were high school sweethearts. We dated all through school. He was the perfect boyfriend. He’d give me flowers and spoil me way too much on Valentine’s Day. I was so stupid. I thought we were going to finish school, get married and maybe even start a family.
“When we did finally graduate, we moved in and things got... tense. He was controlling and at first I just thought it was because he was struggling with keeping a house for us and not having a job and things; I found things to blame his behaviour on. He forced a wedge between us and my parents. He forced me to be on his side and was cunning enough to wait for the relationship to become so ruined that when he started hitting me, I wouldn’t go to them. I wouldn’t go to the authorities. I wouldn’t because... depression.
“I felt so lonely. I just kept thinking: ‘Oh, it’ll be okay. He keeps promising to stop so he will. He loves me. He doesn’t mean it,” she began crying again. “Sometimes I still make myself think that,” she admitted, “but when I say it out loud even I know I sound ridiculously stupid.” I kept rubbing her back. She needed to get it all out. It had taken years for all this to build up and she needed release. She drew in a raggedy breath before silence befell us.
“What are you going to do now?” I asked, concerned for my friend. The girl shrugged.
“Life goes on, doesn’t it?”
“I suppose it does. You can come and stay at ours for a while, if you like,” I offered. “Just get away for a while?”
“He wouldn’t be happy with that,” she told me.
“Rach, is there anything you can do that he’ll approve of? It’s psychological abuse - you can’t live your life pleasing him when it’s impossible to do. One person isn’t the controller of another. Those times are long over. You’re as human as he is,” I told her. She rubbed at her eyes.
“Come on, you’re coming home with me. You look so tired; you need a decent night of sleep,” I rubbed her arm calmingly. She whispered an ‘okay’ before I cautiously led her away from the abode of torture.
We came to the side door of the house and Rach saw CC in the living room waiting for us.
“Actually, I changed my mind,” she said, her voice full of nervousness.
“What? Why?!” I asked her, bewildered.
“I can’t ruin your evening,” she said, trying to turn away from me lightly holding her side.
“This is because of CC, isn’t it?” I asked her.
“Well, yes,” she admitted, “but also anyone else still left,” she added quickly. That was interesting.
“I can’t darken your party Juliet,” she told me.
“Look, CC knows, okay? He’s the only one left and the only one who knows. You’ve nothing to hide from him. Please, I want you to be safe. I want you to have a night you’re not living in fear or unsafe and I don’t worry for you,” I said.
“But... He’s the reason... I just... It’s because he knows that set Callum off. I-I can’t. If Callum finds out he’ll go ballistic,” she was struggling to keep her composure. I could hear it in her tone alone. She kept trying to turn away from the house. I wouldn’t let her.
“Just one night. You need it. We’ll help clean you up! You don’t have to be alone in this. We can get you back there early in the morning if you’d like,” I tried to coax her. She looked scared but seemed to be contemplating my offer. How could she live in fear - fear in her own home and fear to leave?
“Okay, just this once and if you see Callum’s car-”
“I know, I’ll tell you.” I promised.
“C-can we go around a different way?” she asked looking discomfited.
“No problem,” I told her, leading her to the other side of the house to the garage door. I knew she was embarrassed and didn’t want to be seen in such a state. I didn’t blame her.
Christian
I was there when Juliet can to the side door with a very bloody Rachel. As soon as Rachel saw me, she turned in the other direction. I watched with Andy through the window as Juliet and Rachel argued over something - presumably me being there.
“Maybe I should leave? It would make her more comfortable,” I said to Andy.
“It won’t matter if Juliet tells her I guess,” Andy sighed. He and Juliet must have had arguments about this.
“I think I will,” I said, grabbing my jacket which was draped across the new leather couch.
“CC, please don’t,” he told me. “You shouldn’t feel like you should have to.”
“No, I’ll make things worse,” I replied.
“No you won’t. I know you. You always make light of the situation. Please stay, you’ll make things less tense,” I was flattered.
“Thanks,” I said shyly, “that means a lot,” I told him.
“Plus, you staying would give Rachel some piece of mind if you promise not to tell anybody,” he added.
“What makes you think she’ll trust me?” I asked him, not expecting an answer.
There was a bang from the other side of the house, presumably from a door slamming shut. We heard some shuffling and low talking before another door shutting.
“I’ll make some tea. Do you want a hot chocolate or something?” Andy offered. I nodded a ‘please’.
After about 20 minutes of chatting around the kitchen, we heard two pairs of feet make their way to the lounge room. Both Andy and I turned to the two women who had sat down on the couch side by side. Quiet things were said between them.
“You should reassure her you won’t spread her secret,” Andy whispered before motioning for us to join them.
We went over silently and the whole house was quiet but tense. Also – for me – a little awkward. Rach looked on edge and was avoiding eye contact with anyone but Juliet. I tried not to frown at the abrasions and bruises on her face. It made me want to build her a jumpy castle out of pillows and foam and build a medieval torture chamber complete with 6 lions to banish Callum to his death. I wanted it to be so constricting, it locked his soul for eternity within its walls.
“Hey, how are you feeling?” Andy asked.
“Okay,” she said as loud as a mouse. Juliet, Andy and I all shared looks. “Really, I’m fine,” she said with more effort to persuade us.
“Would you like a drink? How about something to eat?” Juliet offered. She shook her head in response.
“No thank you, you filled me up at lunch,” she gave a small smile which made me almost cringe – I wonder how many times she’d had to do that under these circumstances.
“Too bad! You have to try my hot chocolate. I make a mean hot chocolate,” Juliet said before leaving for the kitchen. No one said anything as both Andy and I sat down and Rachel played with her fingers – the ones that weren’t broken.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Andy asked her. She nodded, looking even more uncomfortable.
“I could drive you to the hospital if you need,” I proposed. She seemed somewhat annoyed.
“No, thank you. It’s fine. Don’t worry about me,” she said. I wanted to hug her. I wanted to stroke her head and tell her she didn’t deserve all the wrong that had been done to her. That she didn’t cause it. That life is better. Life can be warm and full of sunshine and rain and growth.
“Andy, can you get something down for me? It’s up too high,” Juliet called from the kitchen. Andy’s expression to me as he left indicated the call was to have me and Rachel alone.
Juliet
I took Rach into the bathroom, warmed up some water and began dabbing away and disinfecting the gashes. After I asked her to, she removed her shirt and I wanted to vomit when. I’d never seen so much yellow and purple and blue mixed with red in my life. My mouth fell open and she wouldn’t look at me – not even through the mirror. She looked so ashamed. She didn’t say a word as I dabbed away.
Once I was finished with the gashes and removed the gunk from the slash across her back, I put my index finger under her chin to make her look me in the eye.
“How many times have you been in this situation?” I asked.
“You mean, in a neighbour’s house like this or... hurt?” she asked, the volume going from normal to almost impossible to hear.
“Retreating to a neighbour’s house,” I confirmed. She put her arms around herself and lost my eye sight again.
“I don’t... I don’t let people in. Not after the first time.”
“What happened?”
“The first friend I made when I was with Callum after we’d finished school was a lady who I used to work with. He hit me to a point further than he had before... and it scared me. I couldn’t go to work – everyone would see – so I decided to go to her house.
“She asked me straight out if Callum bashed me and straight out I admitted it. For the first time I said it out loud. When I went home, Callum asked me if I had told her. I lied,” I heard her swallow.
“He went off his tree. He knew – he’d had the police around. This woman had called them,” she explained. My heart was racing in my chest for something that I had no control over – over something that had already happened.
“W-what did he..? What did he do?” I asked, fearful.
“I can’t tell you,” she squeaked.
“Rachel, you know you can tell me anything.”
“He almost strangled me to death. I fell unconscious and he rushed me to hospital out of guilt,” I shook my head in disapproval.
“That is...” I bit my lip in trepidation.
“Only after he raped me.”
no ! update please !
12/30/13