When Darkness Is All You See
Lost In Love You Are
-----Time Laps (a month)-----
I was woke up by the bus going over a huge pot hole. I checked the time on my phone and saw it was 7:30 am. I might as well get up, since there's not much to do in the bunk other than lay down and watch movies on your laptop and play on your phone. I slid out of my bunk and walked to the living room area of the bus. I was greeted by a smiling Jinxx with a coffee cup in his hand.
"Like some?" he asked pointing to the coffee pot on the counter.
"Sure," I giggled. "I take mine with a lot of cream and sugar."
"So you like a little coffee with your cream and sugar?" Jinxx laughed walking to the coffee pot.
"Exactly," I smiled.
"Well, here you go kid."
"Thank you. Mmm, this is great. What kind of creamer is it?"
"Hazelnut."
"It is delicious!"
"Mmm morning," Andy groaned, just waking up.
"Morning," Jinxx and I replied.
"Hey, Kaitlyn. What time did you wake up?" he asked taking the coffee that Jinxx had made him.
"About two minutes ago. Can I ask you something?"
"Anything."
"When was the last time you boys had a home cooked breakfast?"
"Before I left for tour," Jinxx smiled. "Sammi made it for me."
"I don't remember," Andy pouted.
"Well, sit down and relax. You're in for a surprise."
I went to the kitchen area and grabbed the eggs and butter out of the fridge. I grabbed the toast out of the pantry. Then, I grabbed the pan, spatula, and plates out of the cubbord. I turned the stove on medium as I put half a spoon full of butter in the pan. When it was all melted I poured eggs on to the pan.
"What's going on?" Ashley asked when he joined us.
"Kaitlyn is making us some breakfast," Jinxx smiled.
"Yup," I giggled.
"She's beautiful and knows how to cook? Dang, that's a hot woman!" Ashley smacked my butt and I winced.
"Hey!" Andy yelled as he stood up and pointed at Ashley. "Don't touch her that way! She doesn't like it."
"Calm down Andy," Ashley said raising his hands up in surrender. "I'm just messing around."
"Well, not with her okay?"
"Sheesh Andy, it's like you like her." Andy swallowed hard and his jaw clenched. "Oh my god! You like her!"
"Shut up Ash!" Andy shouted as he stormed off into the back lounge.
I blushed but pretended to focus on the eggs. I made omlets for Jinxx and Andy, eggs sunny side up for CC, eggs over medium for Jake, and scrambled eggs for Ashley. I took Andy's plate and went to the back lounge. I ignored the cat meows from Ashley and opened the door. I saw Andy sitting on the couch/bed with his arms folded across his chest. He was blushing.
"Hi," I smiled.
"Hi," he replied not looking at me.
"I brought your breakfast."
"Thanks," he said, taking the plate from my hands.
"Andy," I sat down next to him "do you really like me?"
"I-ugh, may-I...yeah," he stuttered.
"Why? I'm not pretty, I have so many flaws."
"What?" his voice was stern and a little angry. He looked at me with concerned eyes. "Did you just call yourself ugly?"
"I am."
"No!" he grabbed my wrists, setting the plate aside, and forced me to look at him. "You are not ugly. You are the most beautiful girl I've ever laid eyes on. When I first saw you, I immidately loved you. You are so beautiful."
"I don't feel beaut-" I was cut off by Andy's lips pressing against mine.
His lips were so soft and warm. The way they danced with mine sent an electric charge running through my body. Nobody had ever kissed me this way. I could feel his love through his lips. This was a whole new experience for me. I felt Andy's arms wrap around my waist. I straddled his lap and ran my fingers through his gorgeous black hair. He moaned into my mouth and I moaned into his. I felt his tongue trace my bottom lip and I opened my mouth. He slid his tongue into my mouth but instead of fighting for dominance, our tongues sort of danced together. I was never kissed with such a passion in my entire life until now. Andy pulled back and leaned his forehead on mine, our breathing was heavy. He ran his hand through my hair and kissed my cheek.
"I think I'll have some of my girlfriend's breakfast now," he chuckled.
"Okay, Andy," I giggled handing him the plate.
"Thank you. Mmm, this is an amazing omlet."
"Thanks."
"Where'd you learn to cook?" Andy asked when he was finished eating.
"Well...." I trailed off about to reveal a painful memory. "My ex kind of taught me. If something was burnt or cooked wrong...he would hit me with a frying pan." I started to cry.
"Oh my god," Andy said throwing his plate to the floor and pulling me into a tight, comforting hug. "I am so sorry he did that to you, Kaitlyn. You're a princess and deserve to be treated like one. I promise that I will never raise a hand at you, no matter how mad I get."
"Thank you Andy," I smiled at him through my tears. "That means a lot."
He smiled and kissed my tears away.
"I guess we should go back out there huh?" Andy asked. "Don't want Ashley to make any rumors. Don't worry, I'll have Jinxx and CC watch out for his hormones."
"Thank god," I giggled making Andy laugh.
We walked back into the living area, hand in hand and smiled at Jinxx. We sat down on the couch and CC gave us a thumbs up. We glanced over to the kitchen and saw Jake stuffing his face with the eggs I made for him. He smiled with full cheeks and I giggled. I leaned my head on Andy's shoulder while we enjoyed the small silence.
"We're here!" John, the tour manager, shouted.
"Where are we?" I asked Andy.
"Atlanta, Georgia," he replied.
"Really? I grew up here!"
"Really?"
"Well in a small town, about two hours away, called Blairsville."
"Wow, that's cool."
"No..." I trailed off.
"What is it?"
"I wasn't accepted here. People would tease me for being 'gothic' or 'emo'. I remember one time, I was walking home from school, this group of kids jumped me. They broke my ribs. I told my parents and they said it was m-my f-f-fa-ult." I started crying into Andy's chest as he pulled me into a hug.
"I'm so sorry sweetheart. Hey, don't cry. You're with us now. We'll protect you and keep you safe, I promise."
"Yeah, Kaitlyn," CC agreed.
"I'm sort of like a fatherly and motherly figure to the group already," chimed Jinxx.
"Ash and I are like your uncles," explained Jake.
"Crazy and a little perverted but we help you out with a lot," Ashley laughed.
"Thanks guys!" I smiled giving them all a group hug.
"Time to get ready guys!" John yelled.
"Help me get ready?" Andy asked me.
"Sure," I giggled.
We went to the venue and walked down a long hallway. At the end of the hallway there was a door with the BVB star on it. The sign below the star said 'BVB Dressing Room'. Andy opened the door for me and the guys followed me in. I watched them all do their makeup as I sat on Andy's lap. The guys had all finished and walked out of the room. Andy, being the last to get ready, walked over to his vanity and started putting on his makeup. After he painted on his signature stitch, I grabbed a small jar of war paint and walked over to him. I took his shirt off, opened the jar, and started painting the lines on his arms, chest, and abs. He laughed a bit as I gently ran my fingers down his stomach. When I was done Andy took the jar from my hands, stuck his fingers in it and started painting my arms.
"What are you doing?" I asked smiling.
"What? My girl's gotta have some warpaint too," he replied, returning the smile.
He ran his fingers over my arms, my neck, and part of my chest that my shirt wasn't covering. I looked down to see Andy was still in his Batman pajamma bottoms. I giggled and he blushed. Andy walked to his closet and grabbed a pair of leather pants with a white arrow pointing at the crotch, his vest, and boots. I turned around to let him get dressed.
I soon felt his strong arms wrap around my waist and he gently kissed my neck. I leaned in to him and he held me tighter as he continued to kiss my neck. His lips found my collar bone and I sighed. He was so gentle but so strong. Our moment of bliss was interrupted by Jake walking in.
"Oh, sorry," he said as he blushed and stepped back out, closing the door. "You ready man?" Jake asked through the door.
"Yeah," Andy called back to him. "I'll be out in a sec."
"I wish we didn't have to be interrupted," I whined.
"Sorry about that. I hate it too. But hey, we'll be staying in a hotel tonight, you and I are sharing a room."
"Oh?" I blushed.
"Mhm," was all he said.
Andy took my hand and we all walked backstage. Ashley was doing vocal warm ups and streatching. Jinxx, Jake, CC, and Andy all streatched their legs. I was watching them all when John said, "You guys ready to go on stage?"
"Yup!" Andy shouted. "Enjoy the show black bird," he winked at me. Black bird? I smiled at my nickname.
Andy ran out on the stage and roared into the microphone. He smiled when the crowd screamed back. He seemed so comfortable on stage.
"Are you guys having fun?" he asked the crowd. They replied with a small roar. "I said 'Are you guys haVING FUN?" and the crowd screamed.
"Yeah! Okay, this song is about feeling alone and not knowing what to do in life. Just remember that you are not alone in our Ritual. This one goes out to you baby." Andy winked at me offstage. I smiled and blew him a kiss.
"Raise up and celebrate your life! We're not alone in our ritual."
I cried as he sang the words. Little did Andy know that this song got me through high school. I fell to my knees crying and felt a hand on my shoulder.
"Their misery and demons burn. A feeling that's worth fighting for!" Andy sang to me and he ran me out on stage.
"Raise up and celebrate your life! We're not alone in our ritual," Andy continued to sing as I noticed he was slow dancing with me. I held him tight and cried. The song ended and he kissed my forehead. I looked up and smiled at him. I mouthed the words thank you and he said, "Of course." He bent down and kissed my lips once then walked me back to the back stage.
"Alright," Andy said walking back on stage. "How many people have felt left out or bullied in their lives? Well, as you all know, I was bullied almost to death. Instead of ending my life I picked up a pen and wrote this next song. This is called Knives and Pens." The crowd went wild as the guys played the song.
"Alone at last we can sit and fight. I've lost all faith in this bluring light."
I began to sing along.
"One final fight for this tonight. With knives and pens we made our plight!"
The songs continued, one after the other. I was completely lost in the sound of Andy's voice. How did he love me? I'm hideous, I'm fat, I'm worthless. "You are not ugly," Andy's voice said in my head, "You are the most beautiful girl I've ever laid eyes on." I pushed the negative thoughts away as the concert ended.
"Thank you very much! We are the Black Veil Brides! Thank you, we love you and goodnight!"
I ran up to Andy and hugged him tightly. He laughed and hugged me back.
"How'd you like the show?" he asked in a deeper husky voice.
"I loved it, especially Ritual." Andy smiled.
"Well," interrupted Jinxx, "let's get to the hotel. I need a shower."
"Yeah you do, Smelly Bones," Jake laughed.
Andy took my hand and lead me back to the tour bus. I recieved a few dirty looks from some fangirls but I didn't care. Andy was mine and nobody else's. I was actually nervous as the bus got closer and closer to the hotel. Andy and I were going to share a room. I know that didn't imply sex but I was still nervous about it. I was a virgin, afterall.
I was woke up by the bus going over a huge pot hole. I checked the time on my phone and saw it was 7:30 am. I might as well get up, since there's not much to do in the bunk other than lay down and watch movies on your laptop and play on your phone. I slid out of my bunk and walked to the living room area of the bus. I was greeted by a smiling Jinxx with a coffee cup in his hand.
"Like some?" he asked pointing to the coffee pot on the counter.
"Sure," I giggled. "I take mine with a lot of cream and sugar."
"So you like a little coffee with your cream and sugar?" Jinxx laughed walking to the coffee pot.
"Exactly," I smiled.
"Well, here you go kid."
"Thank you. Mmm, this is great. What kind of creamer is it?"
"Hazelnut."
"It is delicious!"
"Mmm morning," Andy groaned, just waking up.
"Morning," Jinxx and I replied.
"Hey, Kaitlyn. What time did you wake up?" he asked taking the coffee that Jinxx had made him.
"About two minutes ago. Can I ask you something?"
"Anything."
"When was the last time you boys had a home cooked breakfast?"
"Before I left for tour," Jinxx smiled. "Sammi made it for me."
"I don't remember," Andy pouted.
"Well, sit down and relax. You're in for a surprise."
I went to the kitchen area and grabbed the eggs and butter out of the fridge. I grabbed the toast out of the pantry. Then, I grabbed the pan, spatula, and plates out of the cubbord. I turned the stove on medium as I put half a spoon full of butter in the pan. When it was all melted I poured eggs on to the pan.
"What's going on?" Ashley asked when he joined us.
"Kaitlyn is making us some breakfast," Jinxx smiled.
"Yup," I giggled.
"She's beautiful and knows how to cook? Dang, that's a hot woman!" Ashley smacked my butt and I winced.
"Hey!" Andy yelled as he stood up and pointed at Ashley. "Don't touch her that way! She doesn't like it."
"Calm down Andy," Ashley said raising his hands up in surrender. "I'm just messing around."
"Well, not with her okay?"
"Sheesh Andy, it's like you like her." Andy swallowed hard and his jaw clenched. "Oh my god! You like her!"
"Shut up Ash!" Andy shouted as he stormed off into the back lounge.
I blushed but pretended to focus on the eggs. I made omlets for Jinxx and Andy, eggs sunny side up for CC, eggs over medium for Jake, and scrambled eggs for Ashley. I took Andy's plate and went to the back lounge. I ignored the cat meows from Ashley and opened the door. I saw Andy sitting on the couch/bed with his arms folded across his chest. He was blushing.
"Hi," I smiled.
"Hi," he replied not looking at me.
"I brought your breakfast."
"Thanks," he said, taking the plate from my hands.
"Andy," I sat down next to him "do you really like me?"
"I-ugh, may-I...yeah," he stuttered.
"Why? I'm not pretty, I have so many flaws."
"What?" his voice was stern and a little angry. He looked at me with concerned eyes. "Did you just call yourself ugly?"
"I am."
"No!" he grabbed my wrists, setting the plate aside, and forced me to look at him. "You are not ugly. You are the most beautiful girl I've ever laid eyes on. When I first saw you, I immidately loved you. You are so beautiful."
"I don't feel beaut-" I was cut off by Andy's lips pressing against mine.
His lips were so soft and warm. The way they danced with mine sent an electric charge running through my body. Nobody had ever kissed me this way. I could feel his love through his lips. This was a whole new experience for me. I felt Andy's arms wrap around my waist. I straddled his lap and ran my fingers through his gorgeous black hair. He moaned into my mouth and I moaned into his. I felt his tongue trace my bottom lip and I opened my mouth. He slid his tongue into my mouth but instead of fighting for dominance, our tongues sort of danced together. I was never kissed with such a passion in my entire life until now. Andy pulled back and leaned his forehead on mine, our breathing was heavy. He ran his hand through my hair and kissed my cheek.
"I think I'll have some of my girlfriend's breakfast now," he chuckled.
"Okay, Andy," I giggled handing him the plate.
"Thank you. Mmm, this is an amazing omlet."
"Thanks."
"Where'd you learn to cook?" Andy asked when he was finished eating.
"Well...." I trailed off about to reveal a painful memory. "My ex kind of taught me. If something was burnt or cooked wrong...he would hit me with a frying pan." I started to cry.
"Oh my god," Andy said throwing his plate to the floor and pulling me into a tight, comforting hug. "I am so sorry he did that to you, Kaitlyn. You're a princess and deserve to be treated like one. I promise that I will never raise a hand at you, no matter how mad I get."
"Thank you Andy," I smiled at him through my tears. "That means a lot."
He smiled and kissed my tears away.
"I guess we should go back out there huh?" Andy asked. "Don't want Ashley to make any rumors. Don't worry, I'll have Jinxx and CC watch out for his hormones."
"Thank god," I giggled making Andy laugh.
We walked back into the living area, hand in hand and smiled at Jinxx. We sat down on the couch and CC gave us a thumbs up. We glanced over to the kitchen and saw Jake stuffing his face with the eggs I made for him. He smiled with full cheeks and I giggled. I leaned my head on Andy's shoulder while we enjoyed the small silence.
"We're here!" John, the tour manager, shouted.
"Where are we?" I asked Andy.
"Atlanta, Georgia," he replied.
"Really? I grew up here!"
"Really?"
"Well in a small town, about two hours away, called Blairsville."
"Wow, that's cool."
"No..." I trailed off.
"What is it?"
"I wasn't accepted here. People would tease me for being 'gothic' or 'emo'. I remember one time, I was walking home from school, this group of kids jumped me. They broke my ribs. I told my parents and they said it was m-my f-f-fa-ult." I started crying into Andy's chest as he pulled me into a hug.
"I'm so sorry sweetheart. Hey, don't cry. You're with us now. We'll protect you and keep you safe, I promise."
"Yeah, Kaitlyn," CC agreed.
"I'm sort of like a fatherly and motherly figure to the group already," chimed Jinxx.
"Ash and I are like your uncles," explained Jake.
"Crazy and a little perverted but we help you out with a lot," Ashley laughed.
"Thanks guys!" I smiled giving them all a group hug.
"Time to get ready guys!" John yelled.
"Help me get ready?" Andy asked me.
"Sure," I giggled.
We went to the venue and walked down a long hallway. At the end of the hallway there was a door with the BVB star on it. The sign below the star said 'BVB Dressing Room'. Andy opened the door for me and the guys followed me in. I watched them all do their makeup as I sat on Andy's lap. The guys had all finished and walked out of the room. Andy, being the last to get ready, walked over to his vanity and started putting on his makeup. After he painted on his signature stitch, I grabbed a small jar of war paint and walked over to him. I took his shirt off, opened the jar, and started painting the lines on his arms, chest, and abs. He laughed a bit as I gently ran my fingers down his stomach. When I was done Andy took the jar from my hands, stuck his fingers in it and started painting my arms.
"What are you doing?" I asked smiling.
"What? My girl's gotta have some warpaint too," he replied, returning the smile.
He ran his fingers over my arms, my neck, and part of my chest that my shirt wasn't covering. I looked down to see Andy was still in his Batman pajamma bottoms. I giggled and he blushed. Andy walked to his closet and grabbed a pair of leather pants with a white arrow pointing at the crotch, his vest, and boots. I turned around to let him get dressed.
I soon felt his strong arms wrap around my waist and he gently kissed my neck. I leaned in to him and he held me tighter as he continued to kiss my neck. His lips found my collar bone and I sighed. He was so gentle but so strong. Our moment of bliss was interrupted by Jake walking in.
"Oh, sorry," he said as he blushed and stepped back out, closing the door. "You ready man?" Jake asked through the door.
"Yeah," Andy called back to him. "I'll be out in a sec."
"I wish we didn't have to be interrupted," I whined.
"Sorry about that. I hate it too. But hey, we'll be staying in a hotel tonight, you and I are sharing a room."
"Oh?" I blushed.
"Mhm," was all he said.
Andy took my hand and we all walked backstage. Ashley was doing vocal warm ups and streatching. Jinxx, Jake, CC, and Andy all streatched their legs. I was watching them all when John said, "You guys ready to go on stage?"
"Yup!" Andy shouted. "Enjoy the show black bird," he winked at me. Black bird? I smiled at my nickname.
Andy ran out on the stage and roared into the microphone. He smiled when the crowd screamed back. He seemed so comfortable on stage.
"Are you guys having fun?" he asked the crowd. They replied with a small roar. "I said 'Are you guys haVING FUN?" and the crowd screamed.
"Yeah! Okay, this song is about feeling alone and not knowing what to do in life. Just remember that you are not alone in our Ritual. This one goes out to you baby." Andy winked at me offstage. I smiled and blew him a kiss.
"Raise up and celebrate your life! We're not alone in our ritual."
I cried as he sang the words. Little did Andy know that this song got me through high school. I fell to my knees crying and felt a hand on my shoulder.
"Their misery and demons burn. A feeling that's worth fighting for!" Andy sang to me and he ran me out on stage.
"Raise up and celebrate your life! We're not alone in our ritual," Andy continued to sing as I noticed he was slow dancing with me. I held him tight and cried. The song ended and he kissed my forehead. I looked up and smiled at him. I mouthed the words thank you and he said, "Of course." He bent down and kissed my lips once then walked me back to the back stage.
"Alright," Andy said walking back on stage. "How many people have felt left out or bullied in their lives? Well, as you all know, I was bullied almost to death. Instead of ending my life I picked up a pen and wrote this next song. This is called Knives and Pens." The crowd went wild as the guys played the song.
"Alone at last we can sit and fight. I've lost all faith in this bluring light."
I began to sing along.
"One final fight for this tonight. With knives and pens we made our plight!"
The songs continued, one after the other. I was completely lost in the sound of Andy's voice. How did he love me? I'm hideous, I'm fat, I'm worthless. "You are not ugly," Andy's voice said in my head, "You are the most beautiful girl I've ever laid eyes on." I pushed the negative thoughts away as the concert ended.
"Thank you very much! We are the Black Veil Brides! Thank you, we love you and goodnight!"
I ran up to Andy and hugged him tightly. He laughed and hugged me back.
"How'd you like the show?" he asked in a deeper husky voice.
"I loved it, especially Ritual." Andy smiled.
"Well," interrupted Jinxx, "let's get to the hotel. I need a shower."
"Yeah you do, Smelly Bones," Jake laughed.
Andy took my hand and lead me back to the tour bus. I recieved a few dirty looks from some fangirls but I didn't care. Andy was mine and nobody else's. I was actually nervous as the bus got closer and closer to the hotel. Andy and I were going to share a room. I know that didn't imply sex but I was still nervous about it. I was a virgin, afterall.
Omg I've been reading this for two weeks! I fugging love this story!!!!!! Can't wait for more!
4/3/14