We went down stairs and I sat down in the same spot but this time andy sat next to me.It was silent except one of them... I think his name is cc.. Keep complain about how quite it was. I stared at him for a while then looked at andy.
"Thats cc... CC man stop complaining" He yelled at him after he told me who he was.
I smiled a little cause after that cc sat there looking kinda sad.
"Is he always like this" I asked.
"Saldy yes." Andy responded . We both laughed a little "Blade when did you get on...IT" He said putting air quotations around it.
"What is it?!?" CC asked again for like the 3rd time today.
"Is he going to keep asking until he knows." I asked.
"Yes" Ashley answered while still looking at his phone.
"Do you want to tell them?" Andy asked.
"If I tell you will you stop asking questions" I asked cc
"Yup" he responded really fast.
"Remember if you lie to me it will be that last lie youll tell" I said.
"Blade be nice" Andy reminded me.
"Ok ill tell you " When i said that cc got really happy. "Ill tell you now that you shouldnt be so excited because it isnt very exiting actually its the opposite."
I could tell everyone was paying attention even though they never stop what they were doing.
"you dont have to tell them" Andy said.
"no its fine" I replied"the it were talking about is suicide watch."
"Oh " CC said and everyone else looked at me.
The ashley spoke."If you dont min d me asking.. Why?"
"Cutting and I hung myself from a tree" I responded.
"What?!?" Andy asked.
"Ive done worse.. I mean...I was confused" I said
"I heard the first part and promise me you wont hurt yourself again" He said
I would have just said yes but being the honest person I am i slipped up
"I cant promise you that" I said.
"Promise youll try then." I adjusted his qeustion.
"Cant promise that either" Damn I wish i could just lie sometimes.
"Yes, you can.I know you can. I can help you just need to try ... you started it and now you have to stop." He said he raised his voice but wasnt yelling..just trying to get a point across.
"But I didnt start it " Andy looked really confused."It was some of the guys in the orphanage they did all the time and no one every said anything.So I got used to it but then they left. things didnt feel the same and some bad memories came back.i dont like hurting myself. I dont like the way it feels but I cant stop. I just want the memories gone."
After that everyone was quite.
"Ok...Ill be back" I said then went up stairs to grab my box.
I came back down stairs and gave the box to andy and a note that said :
You shouldnt open this until im not around I dont care if the guys see I just dont wanna be around to see you open it .
I seen him open the box and look it to it.