Ashley POV Andy snuggled up to me, a shiver went down my spine. I sighed and pushed him away. "You have your own bunk dude." He looked up at me hurt. "What?" I rolled my eyes and climbed out of my bunk, I am straight. I am NOT gay! I grabbed my make up, flat iron and hairspray. I locked the bathroom door and tied my hair up, starting on my eye make up. *knock knock* "Ash I need to talk to you!" Andy called through the door. I sighed and opened the door, he walked in and locked it after him. "What do you want dude?" He looked at me, teary eyed. "I need to talk to you," I rolled my eyes, "you have said that twice. Just get to the point Andy, you're exhausting my patience!" I looked away from him and began straightening my hair. "You let me do that to you and then you push me away. Why Ashley?" I pushed down the things I so desperately wanted to say, "because I'm not gay! I just let you do those things because I couldn't get a girl to do them! You initiated and well sex is sex! Every hole's a goal!" He looked down at the ground, "I'm not gay either." "So why are we having this conversation?" I whined. "I think I'm bisexual," my heart leaped, I didn't show it. I masked my feelings up by rolling my eyes. "Andy?" He looked up, "yeah?" "GTFO! and leave me alone!" I muttered sternly. He looked at me thoughtfully and then did as was instructed. I breathed a sigh of relief. ** three days later ** Andy's POV We have just finished our last show and we all spilled out into the nearest bar for a celebration. I sat on a bar stool and ordered five triple jack daniels. Ashley grabbed his and downed it, jake and CC were at the other end of the bar getting their own drinks. 'No point wasting them' I thought to myself. I downed them all within seconds, the burn distracting me from my problems. ** 2 hours later ** I drank another JD until the barman refused to serve me another, jackass. I watched Ashley as another girl rejected him, this part of town was a bit too mainstream so the girls were looking for bieber's not purdy's. I walked past him and out of the bar towards the bus, I felt a hand around my waist. Ashley. "Hello Blue Eyes!" He smirked. "Whatddyaahhwant?" I mumbled. He kissed my neck and I immediately sunk into it. He led me back to the bus and made out with me, he ripped my shirt off and I fumbled with his stupid belt. Eventually I gave up and he undressed himself, grinning at me the whole time. Just looking at that Outlaw tattoo turned me on, I unconsciously began playing with my hard dick. "Do you like what you see?" Ash growled. I nodded, pumping faster at the sound of his growl. He licked up my face whilst talking. It was messy. "You want me in you?" He growled again which made me buck my hips towards him and nod. "Beg for it." I couldn't find my voice, "fmmph mehh!" A low strange sound came from me. "I can't hear you?" He teased. "FUCK ME NOW!" I yelled in frustration. He slammed into my ass and I screamed. Clutching onto the pillows that surrounded me on the sofa. He picked me up and carried me to his bunk. I bucked my hips a little which was a big mistake, he ploughed into me hitting my prostate. "OH FUCK ASH!" I screamed. I clawed at his back. He pinned my hands to the bed above my head and kept punishing me, my dick began to throb, "Ash! Touch me please!?" I sounded like a desperate whore, he shook his head and kept going beads of sweat began trickling down his face and my moans became more and more tired. He never gave up though, I was in agony and then I came. Oh my god! He didn't even have to touch my dick and I would cum! He smirked but carried on going, this time he pumped me and I felt so much relief from his touch. "Unnghhhh Andy I'm-" he exhaled loudly and immediately began to slow his thrusts down. I yawned, that was the best and most exhausting sex ever. I just hope he isn't an asshole in the morning. ** I woke up with a banging hangover, ash breathed deeply. He was so cute when he slept, he began to stir and stretched in that way everyone does when they are mega tired. He looked like a kitten, it was the most adorable thing ever. He looked at me and I smiled, a look of disgust washed over his face and my smile dropped. "What the fuck Andy?" Ash yelled and jumped out of his bunk. That was it, I ran to the bathroom. Gritting my teeth I blinked back tears, I don't cry. I sat on the toilet seat choking back tears. I noticed my green razor on the sink. I can't believe I was even thinking about it, I've never done it before but I know I have wanted to a few times. This was one of those times. I slipped on one of Jake's converse that he left in the bathroom and stamped on the razor. The plastic around it smashed. I picked up the three blades and stashed the two spare ones, I looked at it. I looked really sharp, for once I was scared. I held it in my fingertips and looked at my legs, no one would see them there. I slid it across my skin quickly. FUCK. It hurt but I now understood why people do it, it was like tattoo's. A relieving pain. I did it again and again, god it felt good. I didn't account for the blood though, I turned the shower on and washed my leg down creating a stream of blood. I smiled. I don't know why, I just did.

Notes

once again I am sowwy! I wrote this when I had just cut and I was really down and depressed :( my bad :s x x x