Chappy 7
I think for every moment spent near Andy, I confused myself more and more, like, did I feel things beyond friends towards him? What if I did? What if I ended up crushing myself over a lie? He was just so... Him.

No, Emmylin James, you won't allow yourself to fall in love and anyways, Andy is just a friend. Just friends. Nothing more. Friends. Maybe he just reached the point where I'd let him join my personal Ohana...

Hugging the stuffed Stitch in my arms and let out a sigh. I think I'd been sitting right there, cross legged on my bed for hours while staring off into space, ignoring both Jay calling out to me and my mom appearing before she left again due to my silence.

I wouldn't trust love again, I did so when I was 14 and all that happened was the guy both talking shit about me behind my back and sleeping with another girl while I actually had been really serious about him. Enough of that shit.

My mind was one big pile of mess and I was never able to sleep when like this so I didn't even plan to try and get any sleep, maybe I'd plan a way to get my revenge over Mich and Chris since they'd hid the party for me the other day, that way also forcing me to join.

Stupid buttfaces.

Maybe I should just go old school and drop a bucket of water over them or something... Hmm I could also... Oh I knew exactly what to do to piss them off.

I needed a water gun and some apple juice and when we had band practice in two days, they'd get it.

I'd probably ask Adam to film it so I could put it up just to be a bit more evil. Yay.

I wasn't really that spectacular at all, was I?
Actually I have a pretty dull humour... Yayy?

I think Andy found my incredible ability of misunderstanding shit funny though, that was one out of a million.

But one was enough, especially when that one was him cause he was just so... Andy.

I don't know what was happening to me but anyways, I didn't like it, actually I really really hated it. But I somewhat enjoyed it anyways...


To be honest, I think nearly one month passed where I did nothing but band practice and hanging with Andy, followed by our band's first gig and a sudden rise in popularity topped with a bunch of hate from people who were jealous about me and Andy being friends.

These were the two best months of my life and somewhere I kinda started to accept that I in fact did feel something towards Andy and that something was a thousand times stronger than a friendship.

I'd never forget how he laughed when he first saw the video Adam took of me attacking Chris and Mich with water guns filled with apple juice and my mind turned it into something amazingly gross.

Neither would I ever forget his gentle laugh and soft hand when he woke me up after I fell asleep in the cinema caused by lack of sleep nor would I forget how enthusiastic he looked whenever he was speaking about his band or batman.

I remember how mad he was when someone hated on me and for the first time I actually felt completely safe and loved which was illogical since there was no way Andy would ever love me of all people. If all, I would never become more than a younger sister to him and to be honest, I would be able to live with that.

As long as he was near me I think I'd be able to fight trough every challenge I'd meet in my future.


It was the day before Andy and the guys would leave for a five months tour in Europe and since Jay was out, Andy would come over all day to say goodbye and we'd agreed to stay in touch trough Skype and such.

If I were to decide then he would never leave but of cause, that weren't realistic and he needed to focus on his career. It wasn't like I had any power over him anyways, he was his own human.

Forever I'll regret this day yet I smile whenever I think about it and I want to cry at the same time.



.:Andy:.


"Any plans for today or will I be able to force you to a geek marathon with me?" Emmy laughed as she opened the door for me, her now purple hair falling messy around her face and her grey eyes glistening of happiness thus knowing that we'd part for a long time soon.

Emmylin was one of the prettiest girls I'd ever seen and whenever I spent time with her she just became more and more beautiful in everything she did or said. She had problems, yeah, and she was different, definitely... But all that just made me love her more. Yes. I, Andrew Dennis Biersack, is madly in love with Emmylin James and I don't regret it.

I've learnt so much about this girl trough two months and her mystical past and her abilities was never ending, it didn't seem like anyone had ever believed in her stories before but to me they seemed... logical and true, why shouldn't she be able to see the dead? She was already special beyond everything and way past my worth but that didn't matter to me, I needed her.

"Aaandyyyyy?" She whined, cutting my thoughts.

"Huh?" I respond, remembering her question as I shake my head and pull her towards me, wrapping my arms around her waist in a tight hug.

She have the most adorable giggle, it's incredible.

"Whatcha wanna do?" She asks as I put her down again.

"Dunno, you choose" I respond with a grin and nudge her side before walking to her room.

Wrong move.

Just as I open the door, Em tackles me from behind and we fall down on her bed, her on top of me with a grin. I feel like pulling her to me and kiss her.

Get your shit together Andy, she've told you about how a hard time she have when it's about getting closer to people, especially boys.

"Let's watch something" I blurt out a bit too fast in an attempt to get myself under control.

"Oh... Err yeah, sure" Emm laugh awkwardly and jump off me, searching through her movies and series without looking back at me for what seems like an hour but most likely only lasted for ten minutes.

She returns with Stardust and start the movie without another word, could this turn out worse?



.:Emmylin:.


Me and my stupid feelings ruin everything but like always I tell myself, get your grip together Emm and act like yourself and that's exactly what I do.

I snuggle closer to Andy like I use to do when we watch a movie and instead of focusing on the movie, I grab his hand and draw soothing patterns over the palm in way of apologising for acting weird.

"I love this movie" I mumble after an hour of silence, as the movie reaches the end.

"Mhmm" something seemed weird about Andy lately but I couldn't put a finger on it.

"Ya okay?" I asked and looked up at him, our eyes meeting in a few seconds and me looking away quickly with a deep blush.

"Yeah..." I don't believe you.

Silence.

"Emm..." The menu of the movie had returned and we still hadn't moved but I didn't really pay attention to it since it sounded like there was something wrong with Andy, he was kinda out of himself.

"Yeah?" I respond slowly and look up at him, this time not turning away.

"I don't want to ruin everything, Emmy, but I really can't keep this to myself" he mumble, moving his head closer to mine, even in this second I couldn't foresee what would come next and I wish that I would've been able to do so.

"You can trust in me, you know that" I mumble with what I hope was a calming smile.

"I really, like really really like you, Em" he whisper and everything stops like that.

My mind is a mess, he can't like me, that's not how it works. Nope.

"Sorry Andy" where did that come from? "But... I don't like you in that way" no no no why did I say that?! "You're my best friend and like a brother to me but it can't be more than that" Shut up Emmylin, SHUT UP!

"I understand" he looks away, I wanted to cry. Oh god.

"Ehm... I need to go, Emm, we must... Yeah talk to you later" a fast hug and he was gone, still before I was able to respond or even think really.

I told you, this night is one I forever regret.

I think about an hour passed by where I was just sobbing the words 'I love you' over and over again. I'm such an idiot.

Notes

So last chapter for a while, I hope I'll find time to write a bit soon but I can't promise, all I can say is that I WILL finish it at some point! I promise! I love ya'll so much y'know? I really REALLY do!
Again, sorry <3
Lennie's Out!