The Days Are Numbered.

I laid in my bed thinking of everything wrong with my life and everything I've fucked up. Austin was sleeping peacefully next to me, probably dreaming of something nice and sweet. But, then there was me, the fucked up girl with no mom and a dad who was gone. My brothers were my parents. I had a mental, wait, many mental disorders and no one cared for me. Every single day, I had to deal with the struggle of people judging, hurting, saying things to, and abusing me. I'd had enough. I tried to let it in but the tears broke free from my eyes and they all let loose. I covered my mouth before I woke up Austin. Walking into the bathroom, I took out my box. Oh, my precious box, how I said I would never use your contents again. I walked to the bathroom that was linked with my bedroom, shut, and locked the door. I took the lid off of the box that I forbid myself from ever using again. As the lid came off, my mind became settled, just by seeing all of the blades inside. I pulled out a blade and began slicing at my thighs while the tears were still streaming hot and heavy down my face. At first I made one incision, then two. Two turned to twelve and twelve turned to twenty-four. As the hour progressed, my legs were torn apart. I had made my deepest cuts and I realized that the cuts had went all the way down to my ankles. Even as I had blood streaming from my legs, I wanted to make more incisions in my skin. So, I did. I turned to my wrist and stomach. My sides became torn apart by the little silver blades that we used to use for pencils. Such a shame what's become of it. My mind was easing but was still racing while the tears were still flowing. I looked down at my naked body. Red. That's all I saw, was red. I let some more tears escape the depths of my eyes as I realized the monster I've become.. So fat, so ugly, but so destructive. I got up and cleaned myself and the bathroom, ridding it of all the blood I had made myself. Standing up made me dizzy, and walking hurt like hell, but I had to realize that I was the one to do it to myself. Walking from the bathroom, I saw that Austin was awake now..

"Good morning, sunshine." He said in a beautiful morning voice that made me feel so guilty of everything that just happened. But I had to stay strong and act like nothing was wrong, so, I put on a fake smile to return. Sitting back on the soft bed, I was careful of any sudden movement, Austin opened his arms for me to lay into. I lay back and fall asleep into the abyss, my thoughts were consuming me once again, but I let them go for a few hours while I peacefully slept.

I was jerked awake by a furious looking Austin.

"What the fuck is this, Aubrey?" I looked confusedly at my wrists until it registered that my sleeves had come up while I was sleeping. I jerked them down quickly.

"Nothing." But he knew there was something wrong, and that's what our entire day was. Trying to see what was wrong.

Notes

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