The Days Are Numbered.

*Adylen's POV*
I knew that it would be hard, but i wanted to try my hardest to get better, depression wasn't an answer anymore. I knew it was going to be hard, and this was going to be one of the hardest things ever. But, i was willing to try, for my health and for everyone else.
"What are you doing, babygirl?" Ashley asked as he walked in the door. I just shrugged my shoulders as i kept writing in my journal.

12-10-13
Today i have made a choice, and i want this documented so that when i am happy and grown up, when i have children and i am the happiest i have ever been, i can look back on this. I made the decision to get better. Yes, it is true that i have never, EVER made the choice to be depressed, suicidal, bipolar, social anxiety ridden, an insomniac, or paranoid, but i also don't need to mope about it. I need to do my best to make my life worth while. I want this in my notebook so that when i am thirty years old and have a beautiful family, i can look back. I can look back and know that it was never easy. I had nights that i broke down, i cut my skin and the scars will always, ALWAYS be there. The nights were hard trying to push out the events of that days bullying or that days panic attack. But when i have that journal in my hand, my two, three, four beautiful children in the next room, my husband away at work or in the bedroom sleeping, i can look back and know that i made it. I will always have scars. They will always be apart of me, a part that I'm not too proud of, but their always going to be there. I can't walk into a crowded place alone without the fear that someone is staring at me. I can't talk to someone because i have so many bipolar problems. I can't sleep at night with getting any rest. But, i know that if i work hard, one day it will all get better. And it will all be documented right here.
Adylen.

I wrote in my journal as the tears formed, i needed to get better. I would get better !

Notes

Sorry for the lack of writing. Hope this is good enough for all of you lovely people..