Secrets
Jade
It was the day that we’d be leaving for tour and I was pretty nervous. When Sammi picked me up to go shopping she insisted that I stay with her and Jinxx until the day of tour. Mainly so it would be a surprise to Ashley when he sees me. I was really nervous about what he would think; my brother’s opinion means everything to me. I was hoping I didn’t go overboard on my new look. I was also nervous as to what Andy would think of it. Sammi did take me to buy new clothes, but she also dyed my hair, bought a lot of makeup and taught me how to put it on.
I felt weird my face hurt from getting my eyebrows waxed, I kept constantly wanting to rub my eyes but couldn’t because of my eye shadow, I kept playing with my hair because I wasn’t used to the colors. Sammi had dyed my hair black with a patch of blonde. I insisted that there be a patch of blonde so I could match Andy’s hair. I told her to do it cause I thought it be funny, when really I just thought it be kind of cute if my boyfriend and I to have matching hair.
I’ve never worn makeup before, put on heels or even wore a skirt. Skinny jeans were a foreign subject to me. I loved the way they looked on me but holy crap they were a pain to get into. I don’t see how the guys get on stage in such skin tight clothes every day. Makeup was a huge change for me too. I managed to put it on myself this morning, but I also managed to stab myself in the eye about ten times. I know that Andy always tells me I’m pretty, and I do feel that way when he tells me that. But putting makeup on makes me feel pretty. I know I don’t need it, it’s not something I’d wear all the time, but I do feel beautiful. I look so different I barely recognize myself. I’m just hoping Andy still loves me despite the huge change in appearance. I know I’m sounding crazy, but I’m just so nervous as to what he’ll think. I love Andy and his opinion means the world to me.
“Will you stop worrying, you look amazing.” Sammi said standing in the doorway of her and Jinxx’s spare bedroom.
“Sorry I’m just nervous.”
“Well Ashley has no say so even if he doesn’t like it, it’s his problem not yours. If you like what you’re wearing that’s all that matters.”
“I know, I’m just not used wearing what I want.”
“you’ll get used to it. Now come on, Ashley’s got your other bags and we have to get your new stuff to the car. All the guys are at the bus already.”
“Are you sure I shouldn’t change? I mean I’m wearing a crop top and shorts shouldn’t I tone it down so my brother doesn’t have a heart attack?”
Sammi looked me up and down once before smirking. “Naw I say we give him the full effect now.” She laughed and I couldn’t help but giggle. Ashley was going to freak out I already know it.
Joking around for a couple more minutes we finally managed to get ourselves together and put my stuff in Sammi’s car. We got into the car and in no time we were off to meet the guys at the bus. The car ride was somewhat silent nothing but the radio was playing while I sang along to the songs that I knew.
“So Andy huh?” Sammi said and I looked at her confused.
“What about Andy?”
“Oh nothing you two just seem really close.” I instantly tensed up. Oh shit did she know about us?
“He’s my best friend of course we’re close.” I said trying to play off my nervousness.
“Yeah I know you two are wicked close friends but have you seen the way he looks at you when he thinks no one is watching?”
“No I’ve never noticed.”
“He looks like a lovesick puppy, it’s pretty adorable. Andy looks at you like you’re the only thing in the world sometimes. He definitely likes you.”
“Naw there’s no way he could like me, I’m too boring.” Though I knew what I was saying was a lie I still felt that way sometimes. I’m not an interesting person. Andy could have any girl in the world that he wanted and I couldn’t understand why he wanted me.
“Oh please you are not boring. I don’t think so, the guys don’t think so and Andy sure as hell doesn’t think you’re boring.” Sammi giggled and I rolled my eyes.
“Whatever.”
“Oh don’t think I don’t notice the way you look at him. You like Andy I know it.” My cheeks caught fire when she said that. “I’m so right; you are blushing like a maniac.”
“No I’m not.” I lied looking about the window.
“Sure you’re not.”
“Even if I do like Andy, it doesn’t matter Ashley would freak out if I dated him or anyone in general.”
It was Sammi’s turn to roll her eyes. “Your brother will come around eventually.”
“Yeah when I’m sixty years old.” I mumbled. Sammi just laughed and continued to focus on her driving. In no time we were pulling into an empty parking lot that contained nothing but a tour bus. I could see the guys putting stuff on the bus well all except Andy who was leaning on the side of the bus smoking a cigarette. I smiled I hadn’t seen him in two days and all I wanted to do was hop out the car and run into his arms, but I couldn’t.
I noticed the guys stopped what they were doing when they noticed Sammi’s car pull into the parking lot. I took a deep breath as she parked the car. I was so nervous as to what everyone would think and I didn’t want Ashley to freak out.
“You ready for this?” Sammi asked turning to me and I sighed.
“No but I can’t stay in this car forever, let’s just get this over with.” I mumbled and she just laughed before getting out of the car and walking towards the trunk. I took a deep breath before finally opening the door and stepping out. I yanked my shorts down a little since they rode up a little and I walked towards the trunk of the car and avoided looking at the guys stares. I took my suitcase from Sammi and started wheeling it towards the bus while looking at the ground. When I reached the bus the band’s tour manager John took my bags from Sammi and me and put them on the bus. When I finally looked up at the guys all they did was stare at me without saying a word. Ashley looked completely shocked and I couldn’t read Andy’s expression at all. I bite my lip and my heart rate started to quicken.
“Aw you look so adorable!” CC shouted before rushing up to be and picking me up and squeezing me in a tight hug. I smiled wide and hugged him back.
“You do look really cute.” Jake interjected as CC put me down. He hugged me as well and Jinxx pulled me into a hug as well.
“I have to agree, you do look quite cute.” I was all smiled until I turned to look at Ashley and Andy. I couldn’t help but feel nervous. Neither had said anything, Ashley was still just staring and Andy just looked down at the ground and smoked his cigarette, not bothering to look at me at all.
“As much as I don’t like it I can’t deny that you do look really cute.” Ashley said after a long awkward silence. He opened up his arms to me and I smiled walking quickly into his embrace. I felt a little more relieved that my brother approved, but I still felt uneasy because Andy hadn’t said a word.
He stomped his cigarette out and looked at me his face void of all emotion. My heart sunk, I knew it he hates it. “You look nice.” He mumbled and it took everything in me not to break down and cry in front of everyone.
“Thank you.” I practically whispered before faking a smile “I’m gonna pick out my bunk!” I chirped before rushing on to the bus. I decided on the top bunk closest to the back. I climbed in and shut the curtain. I just lied there on nothing but a mattress. I buried my face in my hands before letting a few tears fall. I had to keep it together the guys couldn’t suspect anything. I knew Andy was going to hate it, I just knew it. I was exhausted with stressing myself out about my look for the past couple of days and Andy’s disapproval just made it worse. All I wanted to do was sleep just to get away from everything even if it was only a little while.
I woke up to the feeling of motion and realized that the bus was moving and we were officially on the road and ready to tour. I yawned and realized that I wasn’t in my bunk instead I was beneath it and wrapped in blankets. Curious as to whose bed I was in I realized I was in Andy’s bunk when I noticed the blankets were covered in the batman symbol. I groaned feeling my phone dig into my side. I pulled it out of my pocket and noticed I had a text message. My heart started to race when I noticed it was from Andy and I was scared to open it. Not being able to take it I just opened it.
Meet me in the back room, we need to talk
I could already feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I knew it, he was going to end us. That’s always what [i]we need to talk[/i] means, a break up. I slipped out of his bunk and didn’t even bother to wipe my eyes as I stumbled out of the bunk. I could hear the guys laughing up in the front and I sighed before walking into the back room.
When I opened the door I wasn’t surprised that The Dark Knight was playing on the big HD TV. Andy’s mess of hair was out in all directions as he focused on the movie. He didn’t notice my presence at all as I shut the door behind me. I slowly moved when towards the couch and sat down on the farthest side of the side like a child about to get scolded.
“Oh you’re finally awake.” He said a tint of happiness in his voice. I didn’t even bother to look up at him, I just stared at my lap.
“If you’re going to do it just do it.” I whispered.
“Do what?”
“If you’re going to breakup with me already then do it!” I practically shouted finally looking up at him.
“Breakup with you? Baby why would I do that?” he shifted towards me and I moved back.
“Because you hate it! You don’t like the way I look now, and plus you said we need to talk! That always means a breakup.” I said my voice cracking a little.
“Shit, Jade Baby I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean anything like that.”
“But you wouldn’t even look at me when I got out of Sammi’s car and when you did you said I looked [i]nice[/i], like you didn’t mean it.”
“I-I …oh gosh this is embarrassing.” He mumbled to himself and I looked at him confused.
“What’s embarrassing? Am I embarrassing to you?”
“What! No Baby of course not!” Andy said shocked before grabbing my face and kissing me. “You could never embarrass me, the reason I wasn’t looking at you was because-” he cut himself off and his cheeks caught fire. “It’s the same reason I’m having trouble looking at you now.”
“What’s that?”
“Looking at you is making want to do a lot of things to you that I can’t since the guys are on the bus.”
“huh? Oh, oh I get it!” I said starting to blush as well.
“Ashley would have beat my face in if I got a boner in front of everyone, especially if it was so obviously over you.” He started laughing and I couldn’t help but giggle. I moved so I was straddling his lap and buried my face in his shoulder.
“I’m sorry.” My voice muffled by his shirt.
“Sorry for what?”
“I overacted.”
“Jade you have nothing to be sorry about I’m sorry for making you think that I didn’t want you. Baby I love you and yes sometimes it might be hard but I would never give up on us, I love you. Us being a secret won’t last forever, and when the day comes where we can be open about his, I will shout it to the whole fucking world that I love you.”
“I love you too.” I smiled widely before wrapping my arm around his neck and kissing him. “So do you think the guys are going to come in here?” I asked before getting off of him and sitting back on the couch with my feet resting in his lap.
“Oh they won’t come in here, I’m having a Batman marathon and that drives them crazy.” He said moving to lean over me. “We’ve got this whole room to ourselves.” He said with his fingers starting to unzip my shorts.
“That’s good.” I moaned before raising his shirt over his head.
“I love you.”
“I love you too Andy so much.”
I felt weird my face hurt from getting my eyebrows waxed, I kept constantly wanting to rub my eyes but couldn’t because of my eye shadow, I kept playing with my hair because I wasn’t used to the colors. Sammi had dyed my hair black with a patch of blonde. I insisted that there be a patch of blonde so I could match Andy’s hair. I told her to do it cause I thought it be funny, when really I just thought it be kind of cute if my boyfriend and I to have matching hair.
I’ve never worn makeup before, put on heels or even wore a skirt. Skinny jeans were a foreign subject to me. I loved the way they looked on me but holy crap they were a pain to get into. I don’t see how the guys get on stage in such skin tight clothes every day. Makeup was a huge change for me too. I managed to put it on myself this morning, but I also managed to stab myself in the eye about ten times. I know that Andy always tells me I’m pretty, and I do feel that way when he tells me that. But putting makeup on makes me feel pretty. I know I don’t need it, it’s not something I’d wear all the time, but I do feel beautiful. I look so different I barely recognize myself. I’m just hoping Andy still loves me despite the huge change in appearance. I know I’m sounding crazy, but I’m just so nervous as to what he’ll think. I love Andy and his opinion means the world to me.
“Will you stop worrying, you look amazing.” Sammi said standing in the doorway of her and Jinxx’s spare bedroom.
“Sorry I’m just nervous.”
“Well Ashley has no say so even if he doesn’t like it, it’s his problem not yours. If you like what you’re wearing that’s all that matters.”
“I know, I’m just not used wearing what I want.”
“you’ll get used to it. Now come on, Ashley’s got your other bags and we have to get your new stuff to the car. All the guys are at the bus already.”
“Are you sure I shouldn’t change? I mean I’m wearing a crop top and shorts shouldn’t I tone it down so my brother doesn’t have a heart attack?”
Sammi looked me up and down once before smirking. “Naw I say we give him the full effect now.” She laughed and I couldn’t help but giggle. Ashley was going to freak out I already know it.
Joking around for a couple more minutes we finally managed to get ourselves together and put my stuff in Sammi’s car. We got into the car and in no time we were off to meet the guys at the bus. The car ride was somewhat silent nothing but the radio was playing while I sang along to the songs that I knew.
“So Andy huh?” Sammi said and I looked at her confused.
“What about Andy?”
“Oh nothing you two just seem really close.” I instantly tensed up. Oh shit did she know about us?
“He’s my best friend of course we’re close.” I said trying to play off my nervousness.
“Yeah I know you two are wicked close friends but have you seen the way he looks at you when he thinks no one is watching?”
“No I’ve never noticed.”
“He looks like a lovesick puppy, it’s pretty adorable. Andy looks at you like you’re the only thing in the world sometimes. He definitely likes you.”
“Naw there’s no way he could like me, I’m too boring.” Though I knew what I was saying was a lie I still felt that way sometimes. I’m not an interesting person. Andy could have any girl in the world that he wanted and I couldn’t understand why he wanted me.
“Oh please you are not boring. I don’t think so, the guys don’t think so and Andy sure as hell doesn’t think you’re boring.” Sammi giggled and I rolled my eyes.
“Whatever.”
“Oh don’t think I don’t notice the way you look at him. You like Andy I know it.” My cheeks caught fire when she said that. “I’m so right; you are blushing like a maniac.”
“No I’m not.” I lied looking about the window.
“Sure you’re not.”
“Even if I do like Andy, it doesn’t matter Ashley would freak out if I dated him or anyone in general.”
It was Sammi’s turn to roll her eyes. “Your brother will come around eventually.”
“Yeah when I’m sixty years old.” I mumbled. Sammi just laughed and continued to focus on her driving. In no time we were pulling into an empty parking lot that contained nothing but a tour bus. I could see the guys putting stuff on the bus well all except Andy who was leaning on the side of the bus smoking a cigarette. I smiled I hadn’t seen him in two days and all I wanted to do was hop out the car and run into his arms, but I couldn’t.
I noticed the guys stopped what they were doing when they noticed Sammi’s car pull into the parking lot. I took a deep breath as she parked the car. I was so nervous as to what everyone would think and I didn’t want Ashley to freak out.
“You ready for this?” Sammi asked turning to me and I sighed.
“No but I can’t stay in this car forever, let’s just get this over with.” I mumbled and she just laughed before getting out of the car and walking towards the trunk. I took a deep breath before finally opening the door and stepping out. I yanked my shorts down a little since they rode up a little and I walked towards the trunk of the car and avoided looking at the guys stares. I took my suitcase from Sammi and started wheeling it towards the bus while looking at the ground. When I reached the bus the band’s tour manager John took my bags from Sammi and me and put them on the bus. When I finally looked up at the guys all they did was stare at me without saying a word. Ashley looked completely shocked and I couldn’t read Andy’s expression at all. I bite my lip and my heart rate started to quicken.
“Aw you look so adorable!” CC shouted before rushing up to be and picking me up and squeezing me in a tight hug. I smiled wide and hugged him back.
“You do look really cute.” Jake interjected as CC put me down. He hugged me as well and Jinxx pulled me into a hug as well.
“I have to agree, you do look quite cute.” I was all smiled until I turned to look at Ashley and Andy. I couldn’t help but feel nervous. Neither had said anything, Ashley was still just staring and Andy just looked down at the ground and smoked his cigarette, not bothering to look at me at all.
“As much as I don’t like it I can’t deny that you do look really cute.” Ashley said after a long awkward silence. He opened up his arms to me and I smiled walking quickly into his embrace. I felt a little more relieved that my brother approved, but I still felt uneasy because Andy hadn’t said a word.
He stomped his cigarette out and looked at me his face void of all emotion. My heart sunk, I knew it he hates it. “You look nice.” He mumbled and it took everything in me not to break down and cry in front of everyone.
“Thank you.” I practically whispered before faking a smile “I’m gonna pick out my bunk!” I chirped before rushing on to the bus. I decided on the top bunk closest to the back. I climbed in and shut the curtain. I just lied there on nothing but a mattress. I buried my face in my hands before letting a few tears fall. I had to keep it together the guys couldn’t suspect anything. I knew Andy was going to hate it, I just knew it. I was exhausted with stressing myself out about my look for the past couple of days and Andy’s disapproval just made it worse. All I wanted to do was sleep just to get away from everything even if it was only a little while.
I woke up to the feeling of motion and realized that the bus was moving and we were officially on the road and ready to tour. I yawned and realized that I wasn’t in my bunk instead I was beneath it and wrapped in blankets. Curious as to whose bed I was in I realized I was in Andy’s bunk when I noticed the blankets were covered in the batman symbol. I groaned feeling my phone dig into my side. I pulled it out of my pocket and noticed I had a text message. My heart started to race when I noticed it was from Andy and I was scared to open it. Not being able to take it I just opened it.
Meet me in the back room, we need to talk
I could already feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I knew it, he was going to end us. That’s always what [i]we need to talk[/i] means, a break up. I slipped out of his bunk and didn’t even bother to wipe my eyes as I stumbled out of the bunk. I could hear the guys laughing up in the front and I sighed before walking into the back room.
When I opened the door I wasn’t surprised that The Dark Knight was playing on the big HD TV. Andy’s mess of hair was out in all directions as he focused on the movie. He didn’t notice my presence at all as I shut the door behind me. I slowly moved when towards the couch and sat down on the farthest side of the side like a child about to get scolded.
“Oh you’re finally awake.” He said a tint of happiness in his voice. I didn’t even bother to look up at him, I just stared at my lap.
“If you’re going to do it just do it.” I whispered.
“Do what?”
“If you’re going to breakup with me already then do it!” I practically shouted finally looking up at him.
“Breakup with you? Baby why would I do that?” he shifted towards me and I moved back.
“Because you hate it! You don’t like the way I look now, and plus you said we need to talk! That always means a breakup.” I said my voice cracking a little.
“Shit, Jade Baby I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean anything like that.”
“But you wouldn’t even look at me when I got out of Sammi’s car and when you did you said I looked [i]nice[/i], like you didn’t mean it.”
“I-I …oh gosh this is embarrassing.” He mumbled to himself and I looked at him confused.
“What’s embarrassing? Am I embarrassing to you?”
“What! No Baby of course not!” Andy said shocked before grabbing my face and kissing me. “You could never embarrass me, the reason I wasn’t looking at you was because-” he cut himself off and his cheeks caught fire. “It’s the same reason I’m having trouble looking at you now.”
“What’s that?”
“Looking at you is making want to do a lot of things to you that I can’t since the guys are on the bus.”
“huh? Oh, oh I get it!” I said starting to blush as well.
“Ashley would have beat my face in if I got a boner in front of everyone, especially if it was so obviously over you.” He started laughing and I couldn’t help but giggle. I moved so I was straddling his lap and buried my face in his shoulder.
“I’m sorry.” My voice muffled by his shirt.
“Sorry for what?”
“I overacted.”
“Jade you have nothing to be sorry about I’m sorry for making you think that I didn’t want you. Baby I love you and yes sometimes it might be hard but I would never give up on us, I love you. Us being a secret won’t last forever, and when the day comes where we can be open about his, I will shout it to the whole fucking world that I love you.”
“I love you too.” I smiled widely before wrapping my arm around his neck and kissing him. “So do you think the guys are going to come in here?” I asked before getting off of him and sitting back on the couch with my feet resting in his lap.
“Oh they won’t come in here, I’m having a Batman marathon and that drives them crazy.” He said moving to lean over me. “We’ve got this whole room to ourselves.” He said with his fingers starting to unzip my shorts.
“That’s good.” I moaned before raising his shirt over his head.
“I love you.”
“I love you too Andy so much.”
Notes
This is Jade's outfit.http://www.polyvore.com/jade1/set?id=39239484#stream_boxHope you like this. Tell me what you think.
This story is a one that I laughed and cried with.
9/3/16