Secrets
Ashley
Driving back to the apartment I couldn’t help but think about yesterday. Even though I was just looking out for my sister I didn’t realize that I had hurt her feelings. I should have known better then to shout at her. I felt like such an asshole, she was probably blaming herself thinking that she ruined beach day, when in fact I had ruined it for her. Just seeing my little sister in clothes that are slightly revealing is unnerving to me, I can’t help it. It makes me want to protect her ten times more then I already do.
I’ve been starting to realize that instead of being protective I’m starting to become controlling. I don’t want that to happen, I want her to be able to live her life and I seem to be doing the complete opposite. I guess it’s just hard for me to let her grow up. Jade has always been the little girl I swore to protect at all times. I realize she’s not a little girl anymore, she’s almost twenty. I really do need to let her grow up, I guess I should start with letting her wear what she wants. Even if I don’t approve of it I should let her wear it. I know it seems hypocritical, I love seeing girls in skimpy outfits but when it’s your little sister it’s a whole different story.
I know as cruel as it sounds I just don’t want her to catch any man’s attention. I do want the best for my sister. I do want her to find love and be happy with someone, I don’t want her to live her life as an old maid. The truth is that I’m not ready for that yet. She’s not my little sister to me, half the time I see her as if she’s my own daughter. And I know she sees me as if I’m her dad. We may have the same father, but he has never been a father to her, I’m the one that’s raised her. He’s never done a damn thing for her. And it’s my job to protect her from everything but it’s also my job to let her grow up. I raised her the best that I could, I guess it’s time to let her do her own thing. I’ll start with letting her dress the way she wants. I am nowhere near letting her date. Even if she’s ready, I have to let her grow up in baby steps for my sanity.
Acting on impulse I spotted a bank and pulled into the drive-in ATM. I took about 800 dollars out of my bank account and stuffed it in my wallet before taking back my credit card, I stuffed that in my wallet as well and pulled off and continued on my way back to the apartment. I pulled out my phone and managing not to crash into anything I dialed Sammi’s number. I hummed to myself as it rang and luckily she picked up on the third ring.
“Hello Ashley what’s up?”
“Hey Sammi, I need you to do a huge favor for me.”
“Oh really and what would that be?”
“I realize instead of being protective I’m starting to become an asshole towards my sister. So would you do me the honor of taking Jade shopping? I want no say in what she wears anymore.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yep, she’s old enough to wear what she wants, I’m still not ready for her to date, but that’s another issue for another day.” I said chuckling.
“I’ll pick her up in an hour.” Was all Sammi said excitement clear in her voice before she hung up the phone. I laughed to myself and smiled when I saw my apartment come into view.
Pulling into our driveway I parked my car. My over protectiveness was kicking in and all I wanted to do was see my little sister. I know that Andy would never do anything to her. I honestly know that’s the truth, I know I never have to worry about her alone with my friends, but there will always be that small worry in my mind. Finally making it to my door I pulled my keys out of my back pocket. Just as I was about to open the door I heard a big thump and a groan. I opened the door and couldn’t help but laugh at seeing Andy lying face down on the floor.
“Dude what the hell happened?” I said trying not to laugh.
“I tripped over my own feet and fell on the floor.” He mumbled before getting up.
“Jade just got out of the shower so I decided I’d stay up here until she’s all dressed.”
“Okay.” I said plopping down on the loveseat while Andy stretched out on the sofa. He turned on the TV and just stared at it. He looked annoyed and I wondered why, maybe it was because he fell.
“What’s wrong with you?” I asked.
“Oh nothing I just slept wrong so my neck hurts.”
“Well take a painkiller and try not to lie on the side of your neck where it hurts.”
“Thanks man.” Andy said getting up still looking annoyed. I furrowed my eyebrows and wonder if something else was bothering him. I didn’t have much time to dwell on it because Jade had quietly walked into the living room looking like she wasn’t fully awake. She yawned loudly and plopped down in Andy’s old spot.
“Morning Ash how was last night? You have fun?” She asked staring up at me while hugging one of the sofa cushions.
“Yeah I had fun, but I was also thinking a lot about the beach.”
“Oh.” Jade whispered and started biting her lip; I knew she thought I was going to scowled her for her outfit. “I’m sorry, I know I made you upset, I-I didn’t mean to. I just didn’t want to get sick cause of the heat.” I mentally cursed myself I should have known that’s what she was doing; she always gets sick in extremely high temperatures.
“That’s the thing; you have nothing to be sorry about. I overreacted. I realize now that I always have. You’re a grown woman; I don’t have the right to tell you what you can and can’t wear anymore. You should be able to wear what you want.” I dug into my back pocket and pulled out my wallet. “Which is why I’m giving you this” I said handing her the money.
She stared at it like it was a foreign object, before looking back at me then back down at the money in her hands. “What exactly is this for? I have a job Ashley; I don’t need your money.”
“Yeah I know, but this is a gift.”
“For what?”
“A shopping spree. Sammi is coming to pick you up in an hour to take you shopping.”
“Really?”
“Yep I officially have no say in what you wear. I’m completely serious.”
“What about dating?”
“For my sanity please not yet.” I pleaded, she pouted but nodded none the less.
“Thank you Ashley!” She squealed before jumping off the sofa and pouncing on me. I laughed and hugged her back tightly. Making her happy is all I really want in life. Just seeing her smile makes my whole day a good one. I remember when she couldn’t smile or laugh, and knowing that she does now is the greatest thing I could ever ask for.
“What’s got you so excited?” Andy asked leaning in the doorway.
“Sammi’s taking me on a shopping spree I can wear what I want!” She giggled before getting up. “I gotta get ready, not that I have much to do but I should eat something first.” Jade explained before bonding into the kitchen.
“Well you really made her day.” Andy chuckled before sitting back down on the sofa.
“I know, I realized how much of an ass I was being yesterday. It made me realize she’s a grown woman now I can’t tell her what to do.”
“So you’re letting her date now too?” I couldn’t help but hear the hopefulness in his voice but I ignored it.
“I am nowhere near letting her do that, I don’t think my sanity could handle her having a boyfriend.” I laughed, while Andy laughed along with me, I could sense it was halfhearted but I shrugged it off. He seems to be having an off day today.
Out of nowhere he stood up and started walking towards his room. “I’m gonna finish packing.” He mumbled before walking into his room. I looked after him curiously, he must have woken on the wrong side of the bed today, I’ll give him his space.
Jade walked back into the living room with a plate of toaster waffles, she looked around confused before sitting down. “Where’s Andy?”
“He went to finish packing. He seems to be having an off day.” I said. She pouted before standing up.
“I’m gonna give him a hug and talk to him until Sammi gets here. Hugs always cheer him up.” She said before grabbing her waffles and getting up and knocking on his door. He opened it a frown still on his face. He gave a weak smile when he saw her and moved out of her way so she could step into his room. He looked over at me and I just nodded. I was in the house with her so I knew she was really safe. Andy stepped back into his room but left the door open.
I turned back to the TV and smiled. I was glad that the two of them were such close friends; Jade always knew how to make Andy happy when he was in a bad mood without even trying. She actually had that effect on all of the guys. I really was lucky to have her in my life. Despite everything that happened to her she still managed to stay positive. Jade really is an amazing person. She will definitely keep us grounded on tour.
I’ve been starting to realize that instead of being protective I’m starting to become controlling. I don’t want that to happen, I want her to be able to live her life and I seem to be doing the complete opposite. I guess it’s just hard for me to let her grow up. Jade has always been the little girl I swore to protect at all times. I realize she’s not a little girl anymore, she’s almost twenty. I really do need to let her grow up, I guess I should start with letting her wear what she wants. Even if I don’t approve of it I should let her wear it. I know it seems hypocritical, I love seeing girls in skimpy outfits but when it’s your little sister it’s a whole different story.
I know as cruel as it sounds I just don’t want her to catch any man’s attention. I do want the best for my sister. I do want her to find love and be happy with someone, I don’t want her to live her life as an old maid. The truth is that I’m not ready for that yet. She’s not my little sister to me, half the time I see her as if she’s my own daughter. And I know she sees me as if I’m her dad. We may have the same father, but he has never been a father to her, I’m the one that’s raised her. He’s never done a damn thing for her. And it’s my job to protect her from everything but it’s also my job to let her grow up. I raised her the best that I could, I guess it’s time to let her do her own thing. I’ll start with letting her dress the way she wants. I am nowhere near letting her date. Even if she’s ready, I have to let her grow up in baby steps for my sanity.
Acting on impulse I spotted a bank and pulled into the drive-in ATM. I took about 800 dollars out of my bank account and stuffed it in my wallet before taking back my credit card, I stuffed that in my wallet as well and pulled off and continued on my way back to the apartment. I pulled out my phone and managing not to crash into anything I dialed Sammi’s number. I hummed to myself as it rang and luckily she picked up on the third ring.
“Hello Ashley what’s up?”
“Hey Sammi, I need you to do a huge favor for me.”
“Oh really and what would that be?”
“I realize instead of being protective I’m starting to become an asshole towards my sister. So would you do me the honor of taking Jade shopping? I want no say in what she wears anymore.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yep, she’s old enough to wear what she wants, I’m still not ready for her to date, but that’s another issue for another day.” I said chuckling.
“I’ll pick her up in an hour.” Was all Sammi said excitement clear in her voice before she hung up the phone. I laughed to myself and smiled when I saw my apartment come into view.
Pulling into our driveway I parked my car. My over protectiveness was kicking in and all I wanted to do was see my little sister. I know that Andy would never do anything to her. I honestly know that’s the truth, I know I never have to worry about her alone with my friends, but there will always be that small worry in my mind. Finally making it to my door I pulled my keys out of my back pocket. Just as I was about to open the door I heard a big thump and a groan. I opened the door and couldn’t help but laugh at seeing Andy lying face down on the floor.
“Dude what the hell happened?” I said trying not to laugh.
“I tripped over my own feet and fell on the floor.” He mumbled before getting up.
“Jade just got out of the shower so I decided I’d stay up here until she’s all dressed.”
“Okay.” I said plopping down on the loveseat while Andy stretched out on the sofa. He turned on the TV and just stared at it. He looked annoyed and I wondered why, maybe it was because he fell.
“What’s wrong with you?” I asked.
“Oh nothing I just slept wrong so my neck hurts.”
“Well take a painkiller and try not to lie on the side of your neck where it hurts.”
“Thanks man.” Andy said getting up still looking annoyed. I furrowed my eyebrows and wonder if something else was bothering him. I didn’t have much time to dwell on it because Jade had quietly walked into the living room looking like she wasn’t fully awake. She yawned loudly and plopped down in Andy’s old spot.
“Morning Ash how was last night? You have fun?” She asked staring up at me while hugging one of the sofa cushions.
“Yeah I had fun, but I was also thinking a lot about the beach.”
“Oh.” Jade whispered and started biting her lip; I knew she thought I was going to scowled her for her outfit. “I’m sorry, I know I made you upset, I-I didn’t mean to. I just didn’t want to get sick cause of the heat.” I mentally cursed myself I should have known that’s what she was doing; she always gets sick in extremely high temperatures.
“That’s the thing; you have nothing to be sorry about. I overreacted. I realize now that I always have. You’re a grown woman; I don’t have the right to tell you what you can and can’t wear anymore. You should be able to wear what you want.” I dug into my back pocket and pulled out my wallet. “Which is why I’m giving you this” I said handing her the money.
She stared at it like it was a foreign object, before looking back at me then back down at the money in her hands. “What exactly is this for? I have a job Ashley; I don’t need your money.”
“Yeah I know, but this is a gift.”
“For what?”
“A shopping spree. Sammi is coming to pick you up in an hour to take you shopping.”
“Really?”
“Yep I officially have no say in what you wear. I’m completely serious.”
“What about dating?”
“For my sanity please not yet.” I pleaded, she pouted but nodded none the less.
“Thank you Ashley!” She squealed before jumping off the sofa and pouncing on me. I laughed and hugged her back tightly. Making her happy is all I really want in life. Just seeing her smile makes my whole day a good one. I remember when she couldn’t smile or laugh, and knowing that she does now is the greatest thing I could ever ask for.
“What’s got you so excited?” Andy asked leaning in the doorway.
“Sammi’s taking me on a shopping spree I can wear what I want!” She giggled before getting up. “I gotta get ready, not that I have much to do but I should eat something first.” Jade explained before bonding into the kitchen.
“Well you really made her day.” Andy chuckled before sitting back down on the sofa.
“I know, I realized how much of an ass I was being yesterday. It made me realize she’s a grown woman now I can’t tell her what to do.”
“So you’re letting her date now too?” I couldn’t help but hear the hopefulness in his voice but I ignored it.
“I am nowhere near letting her do that, I don’t think my sanity could handle her having a boyfriend.” I laughed, while Andy laughed along with me, I could sense it was halfhearted but I shrugged it off. He seems to be having an off day today.
Out of nowhere he stood up and started walking towards his room. “I’m gonna finish packing.” He mumbled before walking into his room. I looked after him curiously, he must have woken on the wrong side of the bed today, I’ll give him his space.
Jade walked back into the living room with a plate of toaster waffles, she looked around confused before sitting down. “Where’s Andy?”
“He went to finish packing. He seems to be having an off day.” I said. She pouted before standing up.
“I’m gonna give him a hug and talk to him until Sammi gets here. Hugs always cheer him up.” She said before grabbing her waffles and getting up and knocking on his door. He opened it a frown still on his face. He gave a weak smile when he saw her and moved out of her way so she could step into his room. He looked over at me and I just nodded. I was in the house with her so I knew she was really safe. Andy stepped back into his room but left the door open.
I turned back to the TV and smiled. I was glad that the two of them were such close friends; Jade always knew how to make Andy happy when he was in a bad mood without even trying. She actually had that effect on all of the guys. I really was lucky to have her in my life. Despite everything that happened to her she still managed to stay positive. Jade really is an amazing person. She will definitely keep us grounded on tour.
This story is a one that I laughed and cried with.
9/3/16