Secrets

I was exhausted from last night’s show and right now it was a hotel day even though I was still in my bunk on the bus. Jamie and Vanessa had went shopping and the guys were all settled in their rooms. I had just been too damn sleepy to leave my bunk so I hadn’t bothered to move. Ashley had given me a key to our hotel room and when I was ready I was going to get off the bus and go there. I wasn’t leaving the bus anytime soon, this was the first time in a while that I was actually alone and I liked it. I had space to breath and just not have to think about anything. I was still afraid to go to sleep because I was afraid I would have nightmares. I was going to make sure to refill my prescription when I got back home.

I was just lying around not doing anything not even on my laptop browsing different websites for pointless shit. I was just laying down, hell I wasn’t even listening to music. The silence was comfortable and I didn’t want it to end. But of course things never go my way, the bus door opened and I groaned. Whoever just came in was ruining my ‘me’ time and needed to go away. I shut my eyes and pretended to be asleep just in case someone came to my bunk to check on me. I heard some shuffling around the front and then they moved to towards the backroom. Someone opened the curtain to my bunk and I had to fight the urge to scream at them.

“Jade?” My body stiffened and my heart started to race. I didn’t know what to do, let him know I’m awake or pretend I’m sleeping and ignore him? What to do? “Jade baby you can stop pretending your asleep now.” Well fuck me.

I groaned before sitting up and rubbing my eyes and turned glare at him. “What do you want Andrew?” I asked annoyance clear in my voice. He was the last person I wanted to see, ever since he officially started dating Vanessa he has been a complete dick to me, shoving his relationship in my face and I was almost at my breaking point. And where the fuck does he get off thinking he can call me baby? I’m not his baby anymore!

“I really need to talk to you.”

“Well what do you want?”

“Can we go in the backroom and talk?”

“Ugh fine!” I whined and climbed out of my bunk and walked behind him into the back room. I stepped in and he shut and locked the door behind us. I plopped down on the sofa and huffed. “Now what exactly do you want from me Andrew?”

“Why is Vanessa blackmailing you?” He bluntly asked and my whole body went rigid.

“W-what?”

“I overheard you talking on the phone with Mary Ann and you said something about being forced to breakup with me. So I want to know what’s going on.” I felt like I was about to have a panic attack, he wasn’t supposed to know about this it would ruin everything! I’d lose the guys, my family, I can’t tell him. He leaned over me on the couch and one of his hands caressed my cheek, warmth went threw me, I hadn’t felt his touch in so long and I had missed it so much. He wiped a tear from my cheek with his thumb and I gasped. I didn’t even notice I was starting to cry.Dammit.

“It’s nothing.”

“So being forced to breakup with me was nothing? You cared that little about our relationship that you just gave it up?”

“I didn’t have a choice!” I shouted in his face instantly covering my mouth realizing I said too much and that there was no way I was going to get out of this. Andy looked shocked at my outburst at first but then he sat down next to me and pulled me into his lap.

“Jade tell me what’s going on?”

“I-I c-can’t tell you.”

“Why not baby? You know the only reason I’m with Vanessa is because you made it clear I can’t have you.”

I looked down as my body started to shake; I knew I was going to start crying soon. “I-I messed everything up. I-it’s m-my fault.” I choked out.

“What’s your fault?”

“Vanessa told me to stay away from you and I told her we were just friends, but she said you didn’t love me and I got mad and let it slip that we were dating. Vanessa said that if I didn’t breakup with you then she would tell Ashley about us and I couldn’t let that happen. It would ruin everything, I didn’t want Ashley to hurt you and get kicked out the band. I didn’t want our family to be ruined so I-I broke up with you. I figured even if I couldn’t have you as my boyfriend we could still be friends. I-I didn’t want to breakup with you honest. I’m so sorry Andy” I thought he was going to yell at me but he just pulled me into his arms and rubbed my back as I cried.

“Baby I’m so sorry, you’ve been keeping this all to yourself and I’ve been so cruel to you. Jade you should have told me as soon as she threatened you. We could have figured something out. I love you so much Baby.”

“I love you too Andy, I’m so sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for Jade.”

“What are we going to do now?”

“Well I’m breaking up with that bitch for starters.” He stated. “But first I’m going to ask you to take me back. It’s been hell without you baby, so please be mine again?”

“But what about Vanessa?”

“Fuck Vanessa, you’re the only thing I want and I can’t lose you again. And if she does tell, we’ll face it together. You don’t have to go it alone Jade, I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere, I will fight for you this time around. No matter what. I’ll admit I hate keeping us a secret, but if that means I get to keep you then it’s worth it. I love you Jade.”

“I love you too Andy.” I said looking up at him and soon our lips touched in a chaste kiss and it felt like fireworks had exploded in my stomach. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer. I had missed this so fucking much and I didn’t want this to end. His arms snaked around my neck and I moaned into the kiss. God I fucking missed this man and he was mine again. Vanessa can suck it!

“I missed you so much Baby.”

“I missed you too Andy.” I said resting my forehead against his. We sat there together in silence for I don’t know how long but I knew I had to say something. “Andy?”

“Yes Jade?”

“As much as I hate to say this, I think you should wait until tour is over to breakup with Vanessa. It just seems safer since there isn’t much time left.”

“Yeah even though I don’t want to admit it you’re right. But I hate the thought of pretending to even like her. Knowing what she did I don’t even think I can stomach the sight of her. You know I was only dating her because I couldn’t have you right? I have no feelings for her besides disgust now.”

“I know Andy.” I said snuggling into his chest. “We’re going to have to go back to our original plan of you pretending to like her to keep us a secret you know that right?”

“Yeah I know but I don’t want to. I swear once tour is over and we’re back in Cali I’m ripping her a new one. I am just so angry she would do that to you. I see now that she’s just a fame hungry slut and I can’t believe she got in between our relationship. I’m so angry at myself right now Jade it’s not even funny. I’ve been so cruel to you and you’ve just sat there and took it. You’ve been so strong baby and I don’t deserve you.”

I cupped his face in my hands and kissed him softly. “Andy don’t say that you do deserve me don’t doubt yourself. And no don’t you dare start to argue with me.” I warned knowing he was going to. He just sighed before slipping his hands under my shirt and traced circles on my stomach. Andy kissed me liked he’d never get to do it again and it left me breathless.

“I can’t wait to get back home. You’ll officially be mine without that bitch to get in the way.”

“Yeah and I don’t think I’m afraid of telling Ashley now since I know you won’t leave me.”

“Ashley can beat me up all he wants to I’m not giving up on you again. You and me forever Babe.”

“Promise?” I asked holding out my pinky.

“I promise.”

“I love you Andy.”

“I love you too Jade.”

“We should probably head back now huh? Someone’s going to come looking for us.”

“Yeah I know Vanessa is a clingy bitch, she’s probably looking for me now and I haven’t even been gone that long. It’s only a matter of time before she comes onto the bus.”

“And Ashley will probably come to check if I’m still alive since I haven’t left the bus at all.”

“Alright well then let’s get your stuff so we can head out.”

“Andy it will probably be safer if we head out alone.”

“Yeah you’re right.” He said before running his hands through his hair.

“It would make sense if you go first Baby.” I said hugging him and burying my face in his chest.

“True, why are you always so smart?” He teased and I giggled.

“I just am.”

“You have to get off me first so I can leave J-Baby.”

“I know but I really don’t want to.”

“I know, but you have to.” he murmured kissing my forehead. I groaned before slipping off his lap and pouting. “Aw Baby you look so cute when you pout.”

“Andy you think everything I do is cute.”

“You’re point?”

“Goodbye Andy.” I said teasingly pushing him out the door. He just laughed and entwined our fingers and dragged me out the room. We walked as slow as we could towards the front door and it literally pained me to let him go. We just stood in front of each other not sure what to say. Andy leaned down and asked me deeply before pulling away.

“Just hold on for me until tour is over okay Baby? I’m going to make things right I promise.”

“I know you will Andy.”

He pecked my lips again before walking down the stairs. “Goodbye Jade.”

“Bye Andy.” I mumbled as I watched him open the bus door and step out. He looked at me one more time before blowing me a kiss and shutting the door behind him. I sighed before making my way to the loveseat and plopping down on it. I ran my hands threw my messy hair and giggled in content. Even though the circumstances sucked I had my man back and that’s all that mattered to me.

Notes