Secrets

I had been sitting around talking with everyone for about an hour when I realized that I had left my phone in my bunk. I usually always have it on me I got up and stumbled a little not being used to standing while the bus was in motion.

“I’ll be right back, just grabbing my phone.” I heard a chorus of ‘okays’ while I walked towards the bunks. I bite my lip as I got to my bunk. I wanted to peek into Jade’s bunk and check on her as a force of habit since her bunk is right above mine but before I could CC’s bunk caught my eyes. His bunk was empty, rage overtook me and before I could think rationally I yanked Jade’s bunk curtain back. I growled seeing Jade sleeping on top of CC. I was about to scream at them but I didn’t want to cause a scene that would make everyone rush back to the bunks. My mind was running wild and I wanted to rip them both apart but froze in mid rant when I took the time to observe Jade’s face. Tear stains covered her whole face; I looked at CC’s shirt and noticed it was wet.

I felt my heart clench in my chest as I realized that Jade had been crying quite hard. She had reached a breaking point and I wasn’t the one she went to for comfort, it had been CC. The peaceful expression her face made it obvious that CC had calmed her down. Had we really gotten that bad that she couldn’t even talk to me anymore? She used to tell me everything no matter how bad it was. But now she’s gone to CC. Why CC of all people? What did he have that I didn’t that she couldn’t come to me? I was going to talk to her and get down to the bottom of this and soon before I lose my mind. CC was not going to take her away from me. I was going to make damn sure of that. Making sure that I didn’t wake either of them up I slowly pulled the curtain back and walked back to the front with everyone else.

“Yo Andy what took you so long?” Ashley asked before taking a swing of his beer.

“I couldn’t find my phone. Took me a while to get it.” He nodded in understanding before he tossed me another beer. Happily I took it and practically chugged the whole thing and before I knew it I had already downed at least five. Everyone was laughing and chatting it up while I got drunk and tried to take my mind off of Jade sleeping with CC. My eyes rested on Vanessa sitting next to me and I just observed her.

“You know you have really pretty eyes.” I stated my words were slurred and my vision was slightly blurry.

“Thank you Andy.” She purred and then after that the rest of the night became a complete blur.

-X-

I woke up the next day in my own bunk with a killer headache. I felt damp and when I sat up I noticed that all of my clothes were wet. Ugh what the fuck happened last night? I slowly started to make my way out of my bunk and towards the front. Jinxx, Ashley, CC and Jade were the only ones that appeared to be awake. The bus was still moving so I assumed we weren’t at the next venue yet. I groaned loudly catching everyone’s attention and Jinxx and Ashley started grinning at me like cherish cats.

“Well here comes Andy the party animal of last night.” Ashley said cheering. Jade walked over and handed me a glass of water and some pills before walking back to the mini kitchen area her aura was colder than usual to me. Her face held no expression and I couldn’t figure out what could have caused it. I noticed CC was close to her again helping her make sandwiches. I wanted to growl at them but turned my attention back to Ashley and Jinxx.

“We were just telling Jade and CC about what happened last night.” Ashley said.

“Well would you mind telling me what happened? Cause I sure as hell don’t remember.” I winced as my head started to pound. “Why the hell are my clothes and hair all wet?” I asked and Jinxx and Ashley looked at each other before laughing.

“Well to put it bluntly you got drunk off your ass and started making out with Vanessa.” Jinxx stated and I dropped the cup of water I was holding in shock. I did what last night?Fuck!

“Yeah we thought you two would start to go at it right on the sofa in front of us so Jake and I dumped water on the both of you to calm you down. I know I’m a huge ladies man but at least I get to know someone first before I go at it like bunnies.” Ashley laughed and I had to force myself to stay calm and not freak out.

I made out with Vanessa?

I made out with Vanessa.

Which means that I cheated on Jade. Internally I was freaking out, what the hell was I going to do?

“Oh Jade we were talking about it last night and I was wondering do you want to go back and stay with Sammi for the rest of tour? It’s just that you’ve been exhausted lately and seems like it’s getting worse, are you okay?” There was something in his voice that I didn’t understand but Jade seemed to because she just nodded and gave Ashley a look I’ve never seen.

“I’ll be fine Ash, Jon gave me the next two days off. I plan on catching up on my sleeping.”

“If it’s your day off then why are you making us sandwiches?” Jinxx asked and she rolled her eyes.

“Because if I didn’t you all would starve and because I like cooking for you guys. You all actually appreciate it.” There was something in her voice that I couldn’t place but Ashley seemed to pick up on it because he was giving Jade a wary glance.

“Are you sure you don’t want to go home?” Ashley asked again.

“I’m positive, Ashley I’m fine.” But her tone said otherwise. My mind was still spinning. How could I have done that to her? But then I looked over at Jade at the mini kitchen with CC and my thoughts flared and I had my answer. She was all buddy-buddy with CC and it made my blood boil. I wanted to scream at them but I fought down the urge.

“Well I’m finished with your food. Jinxx you and Ash better hurry up and wake up Jake, you three have an interview with a guitar blog. CC you and Andy have interviews later as well. And no I don’t care that it’s my day off and I’m telling you what to do. I’ll start my day off when you all get off the bus and I have the bus to myself.”

“You’re coming to the show right?” Jinxx asked.

“Of course.” She said like it was obvious. “I would never miss any of your shows.”

“Well alright let’s start getting ready.” Ashley said and Jinxx followed after him. I was left alone with Jade and CC. The tension in the air was so thick that it couldn’t be cut with a knife; I didn’t know what to say or do. I could tell that Jade wanted to scream and curse at me until the end of time but I knew she couldn’t. Jade gave CC a look and he looked back at her. I watched their silent conversation in confusion. Finally CC sighed deeply and walked off, but not before giving Jade another look and glaring at me as he walked back to his bunk. As soon as CC was out of view Jade turned to me with a fire I have never seen in her eyes. I gulped, I was in for it and I have never seen her like this before, I didn’t know what to do. I walked over to her slowly like a person walking towards a scared animal with caution.

“Jade I-” before I could even finish my sentence my face had been forced to the side at the force of Jade’s tiny hand slapping me hard across the face. My face stung and I blinked out of shock, she really had just smacked me across the face. Oh she was so mad .

“How could you!” Her voice was laced with venom and her expression was filled with rage and hurt. “How could you? You said you wouldn’t do anything like that unless it was necessary to make sure the guys didn’t suspect anything! I’m not blind Andy I saw the way you eyed up Vanessa as soon as she stepped onto the bus. You wanted to do that Andy and don’t you dare try to fucking deny it!” She whispered harshly.

“Well what about you and CC? Don’t think I haven’t noticed how comfy you two have gotten recently.” I bite back and she snarled. She actually snarled at me!

“For your information CC found out about us and he’s been helping me from losing my fucking mind because of you. Do you even realize how much of what you said to me hurt? And then you go and do the one thing I feared you’d do. CC kept telling me that you wouldn’t that you love me and you would never intentionally hurt me, but no that’s exactly what you did! So fuck you Andy, CC’s been a good friend and helped me stay sane for the past couple of days. You know what maybe I should go back to Cali and stay with Sammi, At least it would get me away from you!” She said before storming off.

I didn’t even know what to say, I wanted to go after her but I couldn’t. Ashley and Jinxx came back with everyone else in tow. My stomach dropped as I saw Vanessa the source of all the problems I was having with Jade. Not that she knew that she was a problem but she still was one. She was giving me a seductive look and I looked away.

“Hey Andy, we’re all getting ready to go to Ashley, Jake and Jinxx’s interview are you coming?” Vanessa asked and I didn’t miss the hint in her voice.

“Uh no my head is still pounding so I’m just going to lie down and go back to sleep.”

“Oh alright, I guess we’ll see you when we get back.” She said with a frown.

“Yeah Andy you better take good care of my Bunny.” Jamie warned. “She’s been exhausted and I want her well rested so I can harass her later.” I chuckled at Jamie and nodded.

“I’ll make sure she’s well rested.” I said and she nodded.

“Take care of my sister Andy.” Ashley stated.

“I will Ash I swear.”

“Good.” And with that he led everyone out of the bus. CC was the last to leave and before he did he grabbed me hard by the arm.

“You fucked up big time and you better fix it. She’s falling apart because of you. She’s like the sister I never had so I swear Andy if you make this worse I will enjoy beating the shit out of you.” And with that he left the bus and slammed the door.

God fucking dammit I am a fucking idiot! I ran my hand through my hair and let out a frustrated groan. Everything I do I manage to make things worse. I walked towards the bunks and checked her bunk she wasn’t there and I instantly walked towards the back room and hoped it wasn’t locked. I turned the door knob and sighed with relief when the door was unlocked.

Jade’s head shot up from the couch and she glared at me with tears and makeup streaming down her cheeks. “Get the fuck out!” She hollered. I did the complete opposite and locked the door. “Andy fucking leave I don’t want to see you right now.”

“Baby.” I started to plead.

“No! You don’t get to call me that right now!” I walked over to the couch and sat down next to her, she tried to get up and head for the door but I was faster and pulled her back to me and into my lap. She just cursed at me and tried to get out of my grasp. When she realized it was pointless she started to hit me.

“Andy Biersack you are such a fucking asshole!” Jade shouted while repeatedly hitting me across the chest. “How could you? Why did you do this? You just had to add insult to injury didn’t you! If you’re going to leave me for her just fucking do it now and then I can go home and be far, far away from you.” Tears were streaming down her cheeks and I just let her continue to rant until she couldn’t anymore.

“Jade, Baby I am so sorry. I was drunk and I can’t remember it at all, I know that’s not an excuse, but I am truly sorry. And I didn’t mean what I said about giving her a chance, I was just jealous of all the time you were spending with Ashley and I know that’s stupid. And I’m sorry I’ve been such a shitty boyfriend lately and I’m sorry I accused you of fooling around with CC, I had no right.” She stopped struggling and just cried into my chest.

“You’re such an asshole. I’m so mad at you right now Andy, that I could knock you unconscious or take a chair to your face. But at the same time I just want you to hold me. How did we end up like this?”

“I don’t know baby and I’m sorry, so sorry.” I lifted her chin and made her look at me. Her chocolate eyes were glistening with tears and I wiped her eyes with my thumb. “I love you Jade. I don’t love Vanessa, hell I don’t even like her, I love you and only you.” I pulled her into my chest and kissed her forehead. “I love you so much Jade.” I lifted her face to me and kissed her with as much passion I could put into that kiss.

“I love you too Andy.” Jade said her hands gripping my shirt. She looked up at me and gave me a weak smile. “Do you think we can ever get past this? I really want to get past this.”

“I’m willing to give us a chance if you are willing to forgive me. I know I don’t deserve it.”

“It will take time Andy but I’ll try.”

“That’s all I can ask for.” I whispered before sneaking my hands around her waist and pulled her closer. She wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me down for a deep kiss. I haven’t been able to hold her and kiss her for so long and I missed how it felt so badly and to think that I almost lost this. The thought that I almost lost her made me tear up.

“I’m not going to lose you. I can’t.” I stated before pulling Jade as close to me as I could.

Notes