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Forget Me Not

So lunch?

I woke up way early the next morning. By waking up early I guess I felt more confident about everything. It was hard to believe I even slept, I was just so excited about everything. I took my medicine for the day and hopped in the shower. I took my time getting ready. When I was done I still had a half an hour left until Andy got here. Misty rolled out of bed and sat next to me on the couch as I waited.
“What do you got planned for today?” Misty yawned

“Andy is picking me up” I said

“Sweet” Misty said

“And you?” I asked

“I think I’ll hang out with Ben today” she said

Ben was her boyfriend. He’s super nice.

“That’s nice” I said

My phone buzzed

“I’m here!”
~Andy

I stood up quickly and practically ran out the door.

“Bye Misty!” I shouted

“Bye, be safe! Don’t do drugs! Don’t come home knocked up! Stay in school and all that jazz” she shouted

“Yeah yeah” I shouted back

I saw Andy sitting in his car waiting for me. I skipped to the passenger door and tapped on the window. He smiled and unlocked the door. I climbed in.

“Well goodmorning” he smiled

“Morning” I beamed putting my seatbelt on, Andy pulled out of the parking spot

I watched him drive. It reminded me of the last time I was in the car and he was driving. The accident. I tried to think about something else, I looked out the window, started tapping my fingers on my legs, anything. It was really hard not to think about it.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
I remember it vividly. It was dark out, him and I were returning home. We were laughing about something as we sat at a red light, he took my hand in his and kissed it. I can still feel it on my skin today. The light turned green. Oh how I wish we had only gotten to that light just a few minutes earlier, or a few minutes later. None of this would have ever happened. Andy stepped on the gas and went like he was supposed to. I remember looking at him at the last second, he was smiling at me still holding my hand. I saw bright light’s coming towards us on Andy’s side, they were blinding and before I could scream or react, I was slammed into the passenger door. A shower of glass pelted my face.
Everything was quiet. I couldn’t see out of my right eye. I tried to sit up but it was all to pain full. I was laying on the cold ground, I had been thrown from the car. I could see the moon, it was big and bright in the sky.

“Andy?” I said trying to move

No answer. I coughed and rolled over, I saw the car. It was flipped on its side, the driver’s side was mangled as it pointed to the sky. I could see into the sun roof of the car. I saw Andy. Hanging upside down unconscious, or at least I hoped he was unconscious, his arms hung down. His hair was soaked with his blood, it stuck to his face, blood dripped off of his head, some was coming out of his mouth and nose.

“ANDY!” I screamed his name

I tried to crawl to him. Glass was everywhere, I cut my hands trying to reach for him. It was so painful for me to move, but I needed to get to him. I saw flashing red and blue. I could hear sirens. I managed to crawl fifteen agonizing feet to the car.

“Andy” I said extending my hand inside the broken sun roof window. Then I blacked out.
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“Hello?” I heard a voice say

“What?” I said snapping back to what was currently happening. I looked at Andy.

“You were zoning out there for a minute” Andy said laughing

“Oh, yeah, it happens a lot” I said trying to shake off what just happened

I really cannot cry now. I really need to control it. It was actually easier to control my crying than to not think about the accident. I guess years of suppressing certain things helped.

“You know, there’s something familiar about you” Andy said

“Familiar?” I questioned trying to play along

“Yeah, like……I can’t really describe it, just a feeling I have” he said

“A feeling” I asked

“Yeah... a feeling” he started, I looked at him oddly “oh no I’m not trying to hit on you or—oh uh that’s not—you’re pretty don’t get me wrong—oh god this is not coming out the way I want it to” he sighed

“No I get it” I laughed

The car started to slow. I think we were at wherever we were headed. Andy parked in front of a house. He got out of the car, so did I. As I was shutting the door Andy ran up the front steps to the house and knocked on the door. I skipped next to him. When I got to Andy the door swung open. I sort of hid behind Andy. A familiar face stood on the other side behind the glass screen door. I hadn’t seen him in years. Chance. He smiled and opened the screen.

“Hey man! Long time” he said half hugging Andy

“I know, this new life of mine has been pretty busy” Andy said

Chance peeked at me.

“Oh this is Sonny” Andy said pushing me towards Chance

“Well hello” he said kindly holding out his hand

“Hi” I said shaking it

He wasn’t staring me down. I read his eyes, I don’t think he hated me. Maybe he doesn’t know?

“Well come in guys” Chance smiled taking my hand dragging me in, Andy followed. Once inside, chance let go of my hand.

“I don’t have much to do around here except video games” Chance said

“To me, that sounds awesome, I haven’t really been able to just sit down” Andy said

We sat on Chance’s couch. He got out three controllers. I hardly remember how to play video games, they never let me play them at my clinic I stayed at because it was “triggering”. We played Halo, I got my ass kicked. There were a few things I killed but that was about it. Mostly I just like to drive the vehicles and run shit over. I accidently killed Andy and Chance with some sort of tank thing. Chance paused the game so Andy could go outside and smoke. Great here it goes, the “Talk” every ones been giving me lately.

“I don’t blame you” Chance said with his hands in his lap

“What?” I said

“I don’t blame you for not staying away from him” Chance said

“Why? I figured you would have told me to stay away like everyone else is saying” I said

“How could you stay away? From my perspective, I don’t think a normal human being can” he said

I didn’t know what to say

“When his mom called me and told me that you found out and was sticking around, I was kind off happy” he said

“Why?” I asked

“You two were always just together, it was weird to see him without you. Do you know how hard of a secret that is to keep from somebody? From you?” he said

“Well Andy doesn’t know anything yet, and I’d like to keep it that way until I figure all this out” I said

“You still love him” Chance said

“I do” I sighed

We heard the screen door open. Andy came in the room.

“I’m fucking hungry” Andy growled while smiling

“Then let’s get some food” Chance stood up

Chance took us to some run down Chinese restaurant. It was pretty good though. After that, he took us back to his place, but Andy and I had to leave. Chance waved goodbye as we drove away. It was awkwardly silent in the car.

“I had fun today” I spoke up

“Yeah? I did too, I don’t normally get to have days like that” Andy said

It was silent again. Andy kept glancing at me.

“What are you looking at?” I questioned with a smile

“Oh nothing it’s just….never mind” he said

“Tell me, I don’t mind” I said

“It’s just…I may have only known you a few short days and all, I consider you a friend now and well…I couldn’t help but notice your arm, it’s concerning me” he said

“Oh that” I said looking at it

“You seemed upset the other night when you caught me staring at it” he said

I tried to think of something to say

“I shouldn’t have brought it up” he said

“No” I said “You’re my friend, you have a right to know” I said

“Tell me?” Andy asked softly, I realized we were sitting in the parking lot of my apartment complex

I sighed “Three years ago….I was going through something” I looked at him, he was listening.

“I uh—had been thinking about suicide long before that. One day, I just….broke. I thought it was the only way out for me. My mom found me passed out in the shower bleeding to death. I remember hardly being conscious when we arrived at the hospital. They put me on a table and put a mask over my face. I watched them try to sew up the mess I made, I wanted to die, but I’m still here, and that’s all that matters” I said staring out of the window trying to control my emotions

“Why’d you do it?” he asked

“I don’t think I’ll be able to tell you” I said looking down. I was fumbling with my fingers in my lap.

I felt an arm wrap around my shoulder and pull me towards the console of the car. Before I knew it Andy was hugging me. He just held me. I felt my face growing hot. I felt at ease. Comforted, but then the underlying truth of why I tried to kill myself lingered in my stomach making me feel sick. He had no idea.

“I know it took a lot to tell me that” he rubbed my back

I couldn’t respond.

“We should hang out again tomorrow” Andy said pulling away from me, he had his hands on my shoulders

Then I remembered something. I have work. SHIT.

“I have work” I sighed

“Oh” he said

“Well, you can come by, I work at Pretty’s Diner on Twelfth” I said

“Sounds good” he laughed. I didn’t realize I was crying until Andy brushed a tear away on my cheekbone with his thumb, his palm was resting on my cheek

It was really quiet. He was just looking at me, his palm was still resting on my face.

“Umm” he said clearing his throat “I should go, people are expecting me to be somewhere right now” he said looking away removing his hand from my face

“OK” I said, I turned and opened the car door. I stepped out.

“So you’re stopping by for lunch right?” I asked peeking my head in reminding him that he said he would see me at work

“Of course” he smiled

Comments

update

Ruth crawford Ruth crawford
9/15/14

Update! Please!

Bvb67! Bvb67!
3/28/14
This is still the best story i have ever read <3 i want more
knivesandmirrors knivesandmirrors
10/25/13
Awe I haven't seen an update for this in awhile :-/
ScarsCanHeal ScarsCanHeal
8/7/13
UPDATE UPDATE
Love_Andy6 Love_Andy6
6/29/13