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Ronnie Cant Swag

Vocab Time!

These were actually words that the teacher gave us when we had a sub, and told us to make sentences out of them. Considering that she probably won't be grading them, I decided to take some liberty with it, as did Ronnie with his pants.


Ronnie Radke thought the judge was being acrimonious by saying pull up your pants or pay. $500. He quickly went broke.


Ashley found that a roll of duck tape could ameliorate the sight of Radke's sagging pants, so he bought a lifetime suppy. He ran out in a week's time.


Andy found that Radke's saggy trousers were easily amenable with duck tape. Too bad it was so expensive.


To the gangster's chagrin, Radke was surprisingly buoyant when dropped in a lake. Just because his swag sucked that badly that not even the junk on the bottom of the lake wanted him within 50 feet.


No matter how he tried, Ashley was never able to cajole Ronnie into wearing his pants properly. So he resorted to threats.


One day, Ronnie's pants fell off, taking his underwear with them. It was such a calamity, CC had a heart attack.


When Ronnie confused his body wash with hydrochloric acid, he became an amorphous blob. He took a trip down the drain afterwards, and tortured the sewer rats with his saggy pants.


Ashley was willing to go as far as to debase himself and pull up Ronnie's pants to save everyone the sight. Too bad Ronnie starts screaming rape whenever he tries.


Since Tosen was blind, he managed to efface the freshly written papers that sentenced Ronnie to jail time. Since no one could read it, Ronnie was released scott free from his cell.


No matter how he tried, Ashley was unable to elucidate the facts to Ronnie that if he didn't pull up his pants, it's be WW3. He was getting the nukes as we speak.


Ashley was relieved when Ronnie pulled up his pants. Sadly, it was only ephemeral.


Ashley beat up Radke with such ferocity, Chuck Norris was almost impressed. Radke was just a tiny stain on the ground afterwards.


Radke was glad his swag was beginning to flourish. He was now wearing his hair in dreadlocks.


The haughty woman called the police when she saw the fail shaped singer. The police pissed themselves laughing.


The local music studio was thankfully impervious to Radke. It they weren't they'd have been a laughing stock.


Ashley was beginning to find Ronnie's swag inane. It was bad enough to warrant an ass kicking.


Outside of swag, Ronnie's life was characterized by indolence. He died at 45, a 700 pound fail shaped, swag scented couch potato.


Ronnie thought that his swag was infallible, until he tripped over his pants, into traffic. Ashley pissed himself laughing.


The reason for Ronnie's swag was inscrutable. Ashley still thought that it was fucking stupid.


After being chased 10 miles by an agry mob and tripping over his own pants many times, Ronnie was languid. Ashley led the mob, holding a pitchfork and screaming, “No more swag!”


Added "Get back in the silverware drawer!" to my vocab. And if this story continued only in vocab chapters I'd still be pretty happy. Thank you for this story

Also, the commenter before me gets mad swiggity swag points for giving me the term 'Oh my Jinxx'.

onefinalfightdoe onefinalfightdoe

Oh my Jinxx, please update, this is the funniest thing ever! I don't know how many times I laughed till I cried while reading this!


Why thank you :)
This is awesome.
Holy shit I dont think I have ever laughed this hard ever!!!
Pinja. Pinja.