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Ronnie Cant Swag

Meet Tosen

<< "Nigga Nigga Nigga!" Ronnie yelled as he shuffled down the street, his poor trousers dragging along the ground. Soon enough, they'd be handing the singer a letter of resignation if he didn't pick them up. They missed being firmly wrapped around his bum and package like they used to be before all this swag BS started.

Then, out from an alleyway, stepped a tall black man. His hair was in dreadlocks, and he wore opaque visors that wrapped around his face, obscuring his eyes. A bright orange scarf encircled his neck, and behind him trailed a blond boy, with his mouth hanging open, and a vacant look in his eyes. It was none other than Kaname Tosen.

"My Nigga!" Tosen yelled, holding his arms out to Ronnie. The vocalist was confused for half a minute, before he yelled "Nigga!" and gave Tosen a giant hug. "Will you help me in the promotion of Justice?" Tosen bellowed.

"Only if you teach me swag!" Ronnie yelled back.

"Swag for Justice trade?" Tosen yelled.

"Fuck yeah, ma Nigga!" Ronnie squealed.

Tosen grinned. He'd found someone to help him promote Justice. Hiding in a trashcan in the alley, Grimmjow and Nnoitra grinned as well, but for a different reason. They wanted to see what would happen, and how they could fuck it up.

"Yanno, he'd be kinda cute if he didn't try to swag so much." Nnoitra said sadly.

The next morning, Andy was woken up by a loud knocking on his door. He stumbled out of bed, his hair a bird's nest. Upon opening the door, the first thing out of his mouth was "The fuck?"

He couldn't believe his eyes, as pretty as they were. He closed the door. Then he rubbed his eyes before opening it again. It was still out there. He shut the door, and made a mental note to go see a shrink. All the stress of working on the new album must be getting to him and making him hallucinate.

Outside, stood a rather different Ronnie than had been seen the day before. His trousers still resided somewhere around his ankles, much to their chagrin. But he'd sprayed his skin a dark brown, and his hair was (professionally) put into dreadlocks. Behind him stood a boy who probably was mentally wanting, seeing as the fact that he was drooling a bit, and his eyes weren't focused on anything in particular. But the thing that had scared poor little Andy so badly was the fact that Ronnie's shirt had "JUSTICE!" scrawled on it in neon orange paint.

"The Justice! It burns!" Andy's screech came from inside the house.

"Poor thing. Maybe I should go make him feel better." Nnoitra said, giving a pervy eyebrow wiggle that Ashley Purdy would've been fucking proud of.

Grimmjow rolled his eyes at his lanky companion's (wo)manizer ways. "That's not a good idea." He said warningly. But Nnoitra ignored him, jumping into the house through an open window. There was the sound of a crash, and then could be heard Andy yelling "Holy Fuck! A giant spoon!"

"I'm not a spoon!"

"Get back in the silverware drawer!"

"I'm not a motherfucking spoon, Aizen dammit!"

Then, the sound of something spraying, before Nnoitra shrieked, "Not the motherfucking bug spray! Help! Grimmjow! I'm melting!"

Andy, after thoroughly spraying the invade with bug spray, stepped over the comatose man, picking up the phone and calling Jinxx.

"Hey Jinxx? I need a ride over to the local looney bin. Oh, cause I'm hallucinating. I saw Ronnie turned black, and I found a giant spoon in my bathroom that cursed at me. You'll be here in 10 minutes? Thanks bro."

Outside, Grimmjow pissed himself laughing, but he couldn't help but feel sorry for the skinny singer. He'd gotten the worst wake up call of life. <<


Added "Get back in the silverware drawer!" to my vocab. And if this story continued only in vocab chapters I'd still be pretty happy. Thank you for this story

Also, the commenter before me gets mad swiggity swag points for giving me the term 'Oh my Jinxx'.

onefinalfightdoe onefinalfightdoe

Oh my Jinxx, please update, this is the funniest thing ever! I don't know how many times I laughed till I cried while reading this!


Why thank you :)
This is awesome.
Holy shit I dont think I have ever laughed this hard ever!!!
Pinja. Pinja.