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Ronnie Cant Swag

Ashley Buggin'

"Ashley!" Ronnie yelled, sprinting up to the Outlaw. "Hey, Ronnie." Ashley said, glancing at the other man, barely repressing his distaste. It wasn't that he had anything against Ronnie as a person, he just wished the singer would please, for the love of Aizen, pull up his pants. He didn't care if the other singer wore loose pants, of course he understood that not everyone would wear the fuckin' spray on pants that he did, but please, for the sake of everything holy, he did not want to see another guys junk!

Well maybe in a threesome or an orgy he might. But any threesome that he entered, he would most likely be there with two hot women, and in an orgy, it'd probably be all women, save for himself. But either way, even if he were in any sexual encounter in which another male was involved, he would insist there be at least one woman in between the two of them. And while he would tolerate the seeing of the other guy's junk, he wouldn't purposely go out looking for it. Which was precisely why he wanted Ronnie to please pull it up.

But the singer was insistent on his swag. "Can you please pull up your pants? I don't need to see that." Ashley said. If Ronnie didn't comply, he'd probably look quite... gay... and pull the singer's pants up for him! And probably even give him one of his prized belts, just to make sure that they stayed that way. High enough to cover it all up. Because nobody wants to see Ronnie-Junk. Nobody.

"What? And look like fuckin' Steve Erkel?" Ronnie retorted. He'd always hated that nerdy kid to begin with. That, and having pants worn 'normally' was not only uncomfortable for his 'package', the idiot was worried he'd get a wedgie if they weren't hanging around his ankles!

"Do I look like Steve Erkel to you?" Ashley asked, glaring angrily. This was about to push him over the edge, Aizen forbid it. Ashley would probably end up in the local jail, with no women, no tits, no ass, no pussy, not even any porn, but a whole lot of buttrape, and Ronnie would go to the local morgue if this singer didn't stop with his stupid fucking swag in a minute.

"No. You aren't a nerd. But you're not a brother either."

Ignoring everything after 'No', Ashley said, "My pants aren't around my kneecaps either. What does that tell you?"

He expected the singer to say something to the effect that it made him realize that he didn't have to kill his balls, and get a wedgie and look like a nerd just to not have his pants almost tripping him, around his ankles. Instead, Ronnie opened up his mouth, and said, "Means that there's more feminine to you than just your name!"

It took a minute for that to sink in, before Ashley yelled, "I'm completely male! Ask any of the girls I fucked! There's hundreds!"

"Oh yeah? Well gimme a name!"

"Do ya think I'm gonna actually bother remembering the names of all those one night stands?" Ashley spat at the singer in annoyance.

"Is it because you don't care to remember their names because you fuck them, and leave first thing after, or because there aren't any?"

"Half the time, I don't even get their names! They just come up to me and demand to get screwed, so who am I to say no?"

"That's proof! You're probably still a virgin!"

That night, Andy had to come bail the bassist out of jail, where he was nursing a sore fist. Ronnie's face was left an covered in an interesting pattern of black and purple and blue.


Added "Get back in the silverware drawer!" to my vocab. And if this story continued only in vocab chapters I'd still be pretty happy. Thank you for this story

Also, the commenter before me gets mad swiggity swag points for giving me the term 'Oh my Jinxx'.

onefinalfightdoe onefinalfightdoe

Oh my Jinxx, please update, this is the funniest thing ever! I don't know how many times I laughed till I cried while reading this!


Why thank you :)
This is awesome.
Holy shit I dont think I have ever laughed this hard ever!!!
Pinja. Pinja.