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Ronnie Cant Swag

Another Vocabulary Adventure

Antithesis: Ronnie was the complete antithesis of propriety. As a result, it was no surprise that the queen of England went into a dead faint upon seeing him strolling around the grounds of Buckingham Palace like he owned the place.

Ascend: According to Ashley, Ronnie's pants had to ascend from around his ankles before the singer could ascend to fame. Of course, this advice was promptly ignored.

Austere: The repercussions the bassist dished out to Radke for his continued swag were rather austere. Even Chuppy was thinking that all the lawsuits that he was filing was a step on the extreme side of life.

Autonomous: The faily swag artist loved to claim that he was nearly entirely autonomous. It would have worked if his grandmother hadn't burst into the room at that exact minute, insisting he start cooking and cleaning for himself.

Banal: Ronnie claimed that these days, swag was entirely banal everywhere in the developed world. Ashley couldn't help but agree, except he had to insist that Radke was still the failiest thing the world had ever had the misfortune of encountering, no matter how common swag was.

Benign: Radke claimed he was as benign as possible to the mental power of human kind. Ashley could be heard in the background muttering, "Yup, as benign as fucking Uranium!"

Capricious: Andy was growing tired of Purdy's capricious behavior. Just yesterday, he was arrested for running around wearing nothing but a spandex morph suit, screeching at the top of his lungs that he was Anti-Swag Man.

Dawdle: The Brides went to the mall, where Ashley proceeded to dawdle behind the group, staying in the hunting goods store. Jake quickly came to the conclusion that it was because he was looking for a net large enough to trap all the swag-sporting persons in the hall outside.

Exacerbate: Walking down the streets a kid with his trousers slung low tripped over them, sprawling flat on the sidewalk. Jinxx had to bodily drag the Outlaw away so he couldn't exacerbate the situation.

Extolling: When Andy found Ronnie extolling Lil' Wayne, he started to question why he was still a friend of the older singer. Then, he questioned if he'd had too much to drink tonight.

Fastidious: Radke thought that Purdy was being rather fastidious about his appearance. Purdy believed he was completely within his rights to ask Radke to buy clothing that wasn't 10 sizes too large, and for the love of all things (un)holy, pull up his pants!

Furtive: Late one night, Andy made a furtive visit to youtube. He wanted to understand this swag phenomenon, but didn't want to risk a shoe print on his skinny white derriere courtesy of the Outlaw.

Gregarious: TO Ashley's chagrin, Radke was a rather gregarious creature. So he began to plot how to surround the singer with people who were more annoying than he was, only to realize he might not be able to find anyone to fit that bill.

Hypocrite: Ashley was always a stickler for dressing appropriately. So when he forgot to do laundry for a while and had to pay a visit to the laundromat in baggy sweats, Radke took advantage of the situation to call him a big, fat, swagging hypocrite.

Innate: Ashley felt as though Radke had an innate ability to aggravate the shit out of a person better than laxatives. Then, he began to wonder how he could bottle up Radke and make a fortune.

Lethargic: Andy didn't understand why he was so lethargic. Then he realized that he was becoming drained of his will to live, not to mention his energy, from hearing the older singer preach about swag.

Melancholy: Ronnie was experiencing quite a period of melancholy feelings, because he had been told by a local rapper that he just couldn't do swag. As much as he hated swag, Purdy suddenly wanted to send the guy a bouquet of miniature liquor bottles.

Opaque: When Ronnie's trousers fell off for the umpteenth time, Chuppy fell to his knees thanking whatever was listening that not only had the singer chosen to wear underwear, but that they were opaque. Because really, the drummer was sick of being traumatized by seeing Ronnie-junk.

Prolific: Ashley couldn't help but feel that Radke was prolific in the creation of failures. Andy couldn't help but agree.

Reprove: Ashley couldn't help but give Radke quite a reprove for his lack of fashion sense. Sad to say, the failure had discovered the magic of earplugs.

Symmetry: Jinxx couldn't help but notice a warped sense of symmetry between Purdy's pants, and Ronnies. The looser the wanna-be gangsta's pants grew, the tighter the bassist's pants became, til Jinxx wondered how it was Purdy didn't sound like Justin Beaver.

Tranquil: For once, Radke wasn't preaching swag, leading Andy to question why the singer was so tranquil. The, the scent of weed hit his nostrils.

Venerate: Ashley questioned why Radke felt the need to venerate rappers. Radke questioned why Purdy didn't.



Added "Get back in the silverware drawer!" to my vocab. And if this story continued only in vocab chapters I'd still be pretty happy. Thank you for this story

Also, the commenter before me gets mad swiggity swag points for giving me the term 'Oh my Jinxx'.

onefinalfightdoe onefinalfightdoe

Oh my Jinxx, please update, this is the funniest thing ever! I don't know how many times I laughed till I cried while reading this!


Why thank you :)
This is awesome.
Holy shit I dont think I have ever laughed this hard ever!!!
Pinja. Pinja.