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Ronnie Cant Swag

Vocab Time 2


Ronnie believed that the habit of wearing one's pants in such a way that undergarments were not seen was antiquated. Purdy begged to differ.


Ashley realized that as a Purdy, he should be able to tell what arable land looked like. And he could, much better than Radke, but the land wasn't exactly land, and the plow wasn't really a plow...


Ronnie wished to believe that his ascendancy in the world of swag would quickly make him a swag icon. In reality, he was little better than someone's ghetto-fabulous 10 year old kid brother.


Because of the amount of week that he smoked, Radke's brain had begun to atrophy. Within 10 years, he was effectively a vegetable, thinking only of money, pussy, weed, and swag.


Ashley had hatched a clandestine plan to get Radke to pull up his pants, offering a professional stripper if he did. Unfortunately, the Outlaw forgot that his target was no longer a part of Escape the Fate, so Craig Mabbit got a lap dance for free.


Andy was doing his best to conciliate Ashley and his swag hate. It backfired in his face, and when he intervened to keep the two men from killing each other, Ashley broke his nose and Ronnie kicked his balls so hard he sang soprano.


After having a heart attack because of seeing Ronnie-Junk, CC entered the bus carefully, throwing a cursory glance at the swag-infested singer, who seemed decent enough. Then he saw the naked hooker, and had another heart attack.


The derision that Ashley held for Ronnie's swag was understandable. However, renting billboards to express his emotions was taking it a bit too far.


The enmity that Ashley had for swag was damn near ridiculous. Andy was getting sick and tired of having to chase his bandmate down to prevent him from killing people every time he chased kids with drooping trousers, a nail gun in hand.


Ashley kicked Ronnie's ass to the point he was a tiny swag-infested ball of fail in the corner. It took him 3 hours to manage to extract his hand far enough to flip off the long gone Outlaw.


Whatever little forbearance Ashley had for Ronnie's swag was quickly dissipating when he saw the other man with dreadlocks. He was at the point of opening up a Chuck Norris worthy can of whoop ass.


Ronnie believed that using belts was a frivolous practice, since the only example he had of people wearing belts were the Brides. This meant that everyone saw his junk, and gave poor lil' Chuppy yet another heart attack.


When it came down to matters of swag, the fail shaped singer was quite garrulous. Ashley purchased ear plugs to counteract this, but CC didn't, and his brain melted and ran out of his ears.


Andy wished his bassist would stop making such impetuous decisions when it came down to matters involving the wanna be gangster. He already had outstanding arrest warrants in 23 states.


Ashley was industrious in getting rid of anything swag related on the tour bus, including Andy's sweats. The poor guy had to sleep in his undergarments for the remainder of the tour.


Ronnie was now the infamous face of swag alongside Lil' Wayne. Ashley, seeing this, turned to Andy and said, "Kill me. Now."


When the judge asked Ronnie, "Son, why can't you just pull up your pants and put down the joint?", the singer dropped F bombs like they were going out of style. He received a $200 find for insolence.


The sheer levity of the reporters' stares should have been enough to dissuade Ronnie from giving the interview. But he went ahead and did it anyways, and was promptly turned into a laughing stock.


When Ronnie Rose to fame, his swag made the use of belts fade into oblivion. As a result, Ashley was able to buy them dirt cheap, and the factories went out of busniess.


To the swag-infested singer, the notion that he could wear his pants properly without getting a wedgie seemed paradoxical. So he didn't do it.


After being sworn into court, the judge asked Radke, "Did you smoke weed an hour ago?" When he denied it, he was charged with perjury.


When he first heard of swag, Ashley didn't think he'd have such rancor for it. However, Andy had a bad feeling about it.


Andy did his best to be a sycophant around Ashley, to avoid seeming like he was taking sides with the wanna be swag shaped failure. Unfortunately for him, that led him to saying things he'd regret, namely that if he were gay, or female, he'd be making a beeline for the bassist.


While Ashley had firmly cemented himself in swag hatred, Andy was vacillating. Sure, he hated swag, but Ronnie was also pretty convincing...


Added "Get back in the silverware drawer!" to my vocab. And if this story continued only in vocab chapters I'd still be pretty happy. Thank you for this story

Also, the commenter before me gets mad swiggity swag points for giving me the term 'Oh my Jinxx'.

onefinalfightdoe onefinalfightdoe

Oh my Jinxx, please update, this is the funniest thing ever! I don't know how many times I laughed till I cried while reading this!


Why thank you :)
This is awesome.
Holy shit I dont think I have ever laughed this hard ever!!!
Pinja. Pinja.