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Ronnie Cant Swag

Prison Ink

"Lookit dis stupid ass whitey." One of the usual thugs spat.

"He say he went to jail." Another said.

"Nigga please, thats BS! He would be reppin' some o' dat prison ink if he did!" A third thug interjected.

"We best be tellin' him dat then!"

So off the band of thugs strolled, in search of the fail shaped singer.

They found him an hour later, in a music store, checking out the latest rap music.

The leader of the thugs stepped forward and said, "Oi! White boy!"

"Da fuck ya want?"

"You ain't been in no jail."

"Yeah I did."

"Then why the fuck ain't ya got no prison ink?"

"They had me in the hole bro-"

"I ain't yo bro!"

"-and they ain't even let me keep my undies nigga!"

The thug made a face of disgust. He found the singer just plain repulsive, and the mental image that brought to thr front of his mind nearly turned his stomach inside out.

"Wigga, tha's just fuckin' nasty as fuck!" The thug said, before beating a quick retreat. He had to go wash his brain out with bleach and cyanide and more bleach.

But that got Ronnie to thinking. If he wanted to have his 'swag' properly, he would not only need the walk, the talk, and the attitude, all of which he already had, but he'd be needing the actual signs on his body. He'd already been ot jail, so logic dictated that he should have the ink to prove it. But he hadn't gotten any while he was there. So looks like he would have to visit there again.

So he lit up a joint in front of a cop. He was given a fairly light sentence by the judge, 2 months in jail. It would've been harsher considering the record he had, but the judge had been too busy laughing at his sheer idiocy.

But he was happy, because now, that meant that he could egt his prison ink, and hopefully, respect from the thugs.

As soon as they let him have visitors, Andy came to see him. Andy was ready to rip him a new one. What the hell was wrong with him? And how stupid was he to be smoking weed in front of the police?

Before the skinny little wisp could get out a single sound, however, Ronnie opened up his large potty mouth and began to blather.

"Andy, ya gotta save me bro! Some nigga named Joe is trying to make me his bitch! Lookit my ass an what tha fuck he did to it! My gorgeous ass!" he whined, before standing up and turning his back to the grate separating the two singers. Before Andy could even get the faintest inkling of what was happening, he dropped his drawers, effectively mooning the younger singer.

A rather fresh looking, but messy tattoo on one tanned arse cheek read "Joez biTch". The J faced backwards.

"Well you said you wanted to get jail ink." Andy said, trying not to giggle.

"But it's not what I wanted!"

a guard looked on in shock.

"Then would you rather have a Nazi symbol on your ass?"

"Tha fuck be yo problem?"

Andy sighed, before saying, "Pull up your pants, or I'll scream statutory."

The shocked guard recovered enough to drag Radke back to his cell.

On the way out, the warden asked, "Why did your lover feel the need to show himself to you like that?"

Andy nearly gagged.

"First, sir, I'd never date an idiot like that, and secondly, we're just friends. He's like the brother I never had, and never wanted to have, either. "

"But why did he show you his ass?"

Andy smirked faintly. He wanted to say, 'Because everyone shows me their ass and hopes to get a piece of me'. Instead, he said, "Someone made him their bitch and decided to mark their territory."

The warden nearly died of laughter.

6 months later, Ronnie was bitching about how much of a pain in the ass, literally and figuratively that tattoo removal was. It wasn't what he wanted, and it earned him ridicule from the thugs.

Andy couldn't help but say, "You were the one who wanted prison ink."

Ronnie flipped him off.


Added "Get back in the silverware drawer!" to my vocab. And if this story continued only in vocab chapters I'd still be pretty happy. Thank you for this story

Also, the commenter before me gets mad swiggity swag points for giving me the term 'Oh my Jinxx'.

onefinalfightdoe onefinalfightdoe

Oh my Jinxx, please update, this is the funniest thing ever! I don't know how many times I laughed till I cried while reading this!


Why thank you :)
This is awesome.
Holy shit I dont think I have ever laughed this hard ever!!!
Pinja. Pinja.