This Is Our Sweet Blasphemy
Nineteen
(DESTINY)
Last week was boring as fuck. Nothing exciting happened at school. All we did all day was talk, except for me. I just stayed silent all day. The last day of school is this Friday, and I couldn't be more happy. I just had to get through Monday through Thursday. Speaking of Monday... I was sitting in the car, waiting for CC. He's been driving me everyday because we get to spend some time by ourselves. It's not much, but we'll just have to deal with it. CC finally got in and sped off towards the school, my hand in his. We didn't talk until we pulled up in the parking lot. I turned to CC and kissed him before grabbing my bag and getting out of the car. I watched him leave and then I found Jessica and we talked until the bell rang. I headed to first period and for the first time since I was back, Stacy came up to me.
"Umm... Destiny, can we talk?" She asked.
"Uh, sure." I said.She sat in front of me and just looked sorry.
"I'm so sorry for taking Chris away from you." She said.
"Stacy, I don't give two fucks about him anymore. He broke my heart, and now I have CC. He's my fucking world and I love him to death." I said.
"I wish I could be like you, just throw away my lifestyle and have someone that I love more than anything. I thought I would have that with Chris, but he dumped me. He just wasn't the one, you know?" She said.
"Yeah. I knew that when I started dating him he wasn't going to be the one, ever. But I can tell CC is. There's just something about him that screams 'he's the one'." I said. Stacy sighed and the bell rang.
"See you in seventh. Bye Destiny." Stacy said. I felt bad for her, in a way. She had always been this big 'ole bitch to me, and now we were talking like friends. I was definitely confused. The day passed, again with nothing eventful or exciting. I was really looking forward to the rally on Friday though. CC picked me up and we went home and just hung out.
(WEDNESDAY) *I'm skipping Tuesday*
I kissed CC goodbye and got out of the car. I watched him leave again and walked into the school. I couldn't find Jessie, which kinda sucked. I had no one to hang out with. During first, some shocking news came over the loud speaker.
"Attention students and faculty, Miss Jessica Higgins has passed away. Her mother would like to see Miss Destiny Ferguson in the office please. thank you."
Everyone turned to look at me. No. Jessica couldn't be dead. I started to cry, not believing what was said to be true. I stood up and stormed out of the classroom and to the office, where Jessica's mother was waitingfor me. I entered and was immediately crushed into a hug. I was released and I sat down.
"Destiny, Jessica committed suicide. She left this note for you. I didn't read it." Her mom said as she handed the note over. It had my name on it, and I unfolded the yellow piece of paper. I started to read the note.
'Dear Destiny,
I'm sorry you had to find out like this. I just couldn't keep going. I love you, just know that. Don't blame yourself because of my death. I'm actually happy that I decided to try again. This was my fifth suicide attempt. I'm so sorry, Des. I love you so much. I guess I could say that no one had ever been there for me, except you and my parents. It's just, sometimes people need to leave forever, and I'm one of those people. I've left you some things in my room. My mother will take you, just tell her. I left you something I made before my attempt. I hope you like it. I also left you my band shirts. I can understand if you don't want them, but please, take what I made you. I did this because, well, I never had a loving man who could comfort me when I cry, who I could trust with my life, have kids with, get married, you know, all of that stuff. I just have always felt so fucking lonely, like I don't matter. Too much shit has happened, and I just needed to get away from it forever. There will be no funeral, I will be cremated. Don't mourn over my death, because I don't want you to. Live your life to its fullest, like I never could. You must be crying by now, and I understand. You're hurt that I did this, but it was for the best. I couldn't keep going. So, this is goodbye. I love you more then I can ever scream, Destiny. Don't you fucking forget that. I want you to get those lyrics tattooed on you, just for me, as one last parting gift. Tell Black Veil Brides about this. Let them read this. I love you Destiny. Goodbye.'
I read the letter two more times before fully breaking down. I folded it back up and put it in my pocket. I crumpled to the floor in a massive heap. The office lady called CC and he was here within five minutes. I looked up at him when the door opened and he picked me up off the ground and sat me in his lap.
"Destiny, please, calm down." CC said.
"I-I I can't CC." I said.
"Why?" He asked.
"I'll tell you later. Not here." I said. CC nodded and kissed me, hard, before standing up and signing me out for the day. I collected my things and we both walked to the car. I'll go get whatever Jessie wanted me to get another day. Just not today. We arrived home and I let the guys read the letter while I sobbed on the couch. Needless to say, I did get those lyrics on me.
Last week was boring as fuck. Nothing exciting happened at school. All we did all day was talk, except for me. I just stayed silent all day. The last day of school is this Friday, and I couldn't be more happy. I just had to get through Monday through Thursday. Speaking of Monday... I was sitting in the car, waiting for CC. He's been driving me everyday because we get to spend some time by ourselves. It's not much, but we'll just have to deal with it. CC finally got in and sped off towards the school, my hand in his. We didn't talk until we pulled up in the parking lot. I turned to CC and kissed him before grabbing my bag and getting out of the car. I watched him leave and then I found Jessica and we talked until the bell rang. I headed to first period and for the first time since I was back, Stacy came up to me.
"Umm... Destiny, can we talk?" She asked.
"Uh, sure." I said.She sat in front of me and just looked sorry.
"I'm so sorry for taking Chris away from you." She said.
"Stacy, I don't give two fucks about him anymore. He broke my heart, and now I have CC. He's my fucking world and I love him to death." I said.
"I wish I could be like you, just throw away my lifestyle and have someone that I love more than anything. I thought I would have that with Chris, but he dumped me. He just wasn't the one, you know?" She said.
"Yeah. I knew that when I started dating him he wasn't going to be the one, ever. But I can tell CC is. There's just something about him that screams 'he's the one'." I said. Stacy sighed and the bell rang.
"See you in seventh. Bye Destiny." Stacy said. I felt bad for her, in a way. She had always been this big 'ole bitch to me, and now we were talking like friends. I was definitely confused. The day passed, again with nothing eventful or exciting. I was really looking forward to the rally on Friday though. CC picked me up and we went home and just hung out.
(WEDNESDAY) *I'm skipping Tuesday*
I kissed CC goodbye and got out of the car. I watched him leave again and walked into the school. I couldn't find Jessie, which kinda sucked. I had no one to hang out with. During first, some shocking news came over the loud speaker.
"Attention students and faculty, Miss Jessica Higgins has passed away. Her mother would like to see Miss Destiny Ferguson in the office please. thank you."
Everyone turned to look at me. No. Jessica couldn't be dead. I started to cry, not believing what was said to be true. I stood up and stormed out of the classroom and to the office, where Jessica's mother was waitingfor me. I entered and was immediately crushed into a hug. I was released and I sat down.
"Destiny, Jessica committed suicide. She left this note for you. I didn't read it." Her mom said as she handed the note over. It had my name on it, and I unfolded the yellow piece of paper. I started to read the note.
'Dear Destiny,
I'm sorry you had to find out like this. I just couldn't keep going. I love you, just know that. Don't blame yourself because of my death. I'm actually happy that I decided to try again. This was my fifth suicide attempt. I'm so sorry, Des. I love you so much. I guess I could say that no one had ever been there for me, except you and my parents. It's just, sometimes people need to leave forever, and I'm one of those people. I've left you some things in my room. My mother will take you, just tell her. I left you something I made before my attempt. I hope you like it. I also left you my band shirts. I can understand if you don't want them, but please, take what I made you. I did this because, well, I never had a loving man who could comfort me when I cry, who I could trust with my life, have kids with, get married, you know, all of that stuff. I just have always felt so fucking lonely, like I don't matter. Too much shit has happened, and I just needed to get away from it forever. There will be no funeral, I will be cremated. Don't mourn over my death, because I don't want you to. Live your life to its fullest, like I never could. You must be crying by now, and I understand. You're hurt that I did this, but it was for the best. I couldn't keep going. So, this is goodbye. I love you more then I can ever scream, Destiny. Don't you fucking forget that. I want you to get those lyrics tattooed on you, just for me, as one last parting gift. Tell Black Veil Brides about this. Let them read this. I love you Destiny. Goodbye.'
I read the letter two more times before fully breaking down. I folded it back up and put it in my pocket. I crumpled to the floor in a massive heap. The office lady called CC and he was here within five minutes. I looked up at him when the door opened and he picked me up off the ground and sat me in his lap.
"Destiny, please, calm down." CC said.
"I-I I can't CC." I said.
"Why?" He asked.
"I'll tell you later. Not here." I said. CC nodded and kissed me, hard, before standing up and signing me out for the day. I collected my things and we both walked to the car. I'll go get whatever Jessie wanted me to get another day. Just not today. We arrived home and I let the guys read the letter while I sobbed on the couch. Needless to say, I did get those lyrics on me.
@mrs.purdy
Ill think about it haha
1/22/15