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I am Jessica Pitts.

If I was smarter I would leave.

" are you even listening Jessica?!" My mom asked annoyed from her spot at the counter.

" no I'm not, because I don't fucking care!" I said from my seat across from her.

It was a week before graduation and my parents were drilling all the information about college into my brain, again.I did apply to some against my will and got in to some but I just don't care.

" well you need to" my mom said

" why? Why can't you just understand that I don't want to go to college!"

" because that's not an option, what will you do? Nothing" she argued back and I groaned again, we've been having these fights so often latley.

" what about finding a band? working at a tattoo place? I just want to do what I love mom!"

She rolled her eyes

" that's not an option"

" it was for jake! Now Look at him! " I said raising my voice a little.

" that's different Jess."

" no it's not! He left when he was 18! And look at him now! What makes you think I can't do it!? I can!"

"Honey, jakes a boy, girls have it so much harder in that business." She said a little softer.

" what about Sandra mom? Haley Williams? Jen ledger? Jenna mcdouhnal?sammi? Huh?"

She sighed

" Jessica enough, you can't waist your life "

" I'm not I just don't want to go to college! I want to see what else the world has to offer!"

She sighed heavily before shaking her head

" fine you know what? Do whatever you want with your life but if you don't want to go to college and you want to go play rockstar ,you can't do it in my house, you either go to college or you get out after graduation and ill give you 1 month to decide "

" fine" I said and stood up before walking quickly out the door and to the breeze way feeling a tear run down my face.

I quickly slipped on my vans wiping away a few tears before opening the bak door and walking into the warm April night. It was 8pm so it wasnt too dark out yet.

I walked silently through the trees as more tears fell down my face.

Why can't they support me like they supported jake? Why can't I be like jake? Or Sandra?

I groaned and looked around noticing I was at my tree.I reached into the opening and pulled out the pack only to find it empty.

" Jesus Christ" I muttered chucking the package into the leaves and sliding down against the tree .

I let our a few tears and rested my head On my knees. Why couldn't my parents be like Andy's? So supportive, they believed in him, mine didn't , why couldn't they just believe in me?

I listened to the breeze sway through the trees as more tears ran down my face.

After a few minutes I reached into my pocket and took out my phone. I unlocked it and opened my contacts scrolling down untill I reached Ashley's.

I hovered over it before giving in and pressing on it and holding it to my ear.

After two rings it picked up and I heard other voices.

" hello?" "Ash?" I asked my voice cracking

" hey babe, what's up?" He asked and I took in a breath as I heard the guys in the background, he's busy, I'm bothering him like I always do.

" did, did I bother you? Were you busy? Sorry ill call back" I stuttered out

" woah , no you didn't no, are you crying?" He asked worry suddenly laced In his voice and I stayed silent

" what's wrong?" He asked again I heard shuffling and a door closing the background suddenly quieted

" Jess?"he asked softly and I took In a breath.

" your parents again?"

" yeah" I said quietly and I heard him let out a sad sigh

" still on your case?"

" yeah but it ended differently this time.." I said trailing off and he stayed quiet waiting for me to finish.

" .. They told me I didn't have to go to college."

" that's great! Isn't that what you wanted?" He asked and I sighed

" they said that if I didn't go to college then I had to get out."

" oh" I leaned against the tree closing my eyes.

"I just wish my parents supported me like Andy's, or jinxx's, or cc's,even with jake they didn't care this much, I just want them to believe in me"

"Hey, I know it's tough, you're right Andy an jinxx's parents did help them but so many others didn't and look at them, if you don't want to go to college then don't" he said and I sighed again.

" and go where Ashley? Live in my car? Not exactly what I want to do with my life"

He grew silent

" become our merch girl, live with me!" He exclaimed and I chuckled a little

" ash.."

" I'm serious!" He wined

" I'm sure.." I chuckle again before breathing out.

I heard a bird make a noise and I jumped

" what was that?" Ashley asked curiously

" a bird I think " I answered looking around, it was now getting dark and sitting here was getting kinda creepy.

" you're outside?! In the woods?! At night? Where things can eat you!?" He exclaimed and I chuckled

" yeah"

" go inside !Jesus Christ"

"But I want to talk to you" I wined

" go inside and we will Skype, sound good?" He asked and I smiled a little before standing up.

" sounds good i'm going now"

" good, Skype me when you get to your room I love you" " I love you too"

The line went dead and I let out a shaky breath before shoving my phone in my pocket and walking out of the woods towards my house.

My feet crunched through the dry leaves as I made my way up my porch and to my back door.

I opened it slowly praying my mom wasnt still in the living room. I walked in and let out a sigh of relief seeing it was empty. I kicked off my shoes and quickly made my way through the living room and up the stairs.

I walked passed jakes room and down to the last door that was mine.

I opened it and closed it clicking the lock behind me before falling Into my bed letting a few more tears fall down my face. I was so stressed.

I layed there for about 15 minutes before I remeber I was suppose to Skype Ashley.

I quickly sat up and picked my lap top off my bed side table and flipped up the black top that was covered with stickers. It started up and I hit the Skype button as I wiped my eyes trying to steady my breaths.

Skype loaded and Ashley's name popped up as the only one online meaning he was waiting. I clicked on it and put the computer in front of me as I listened to it ring.

After a few seconds it went black before Ashley's face popped up. He was sitting in a bed, must be at a hotel.

" Hey, what took you so long? You had me worried I thought something happened" he said looking at the screen and I smiled a little.

" sorry, I zoned out"

He chuckled

" you do that too much, so you feeling better?" I sighed leaning against my wall

" no"

He frowned

" come on, I don't like you sad, be happy" he wined and I let the corners of my mouth move up a little.

"Sorry" I muttered

" seriously ,want me to get jinxx? Because I'm sure he could give you a speech about the meaning of life and happiness" he offered and I laughed fully this time closing my eyes.

"As amazing as that sounds ill have to pass"

I heard him chuckle and I opened my eyes leaning forward looking at the screen.

" so where are you guys?"

"Denver, we had a day off today, and we play here tomorrow so we stayed in a hotel for the night" he said and I nodded just as a door slammed shut and his head snapped to the side looking towards the door.

"Jesus Christ cc loud enough?" He muttered and I let out a laugh.

" hey, I hear Jess " I heard cc say before he jumped on the bed next to Ashley and waved excitedly at me

" hey jailbait!" He said and I laughed as Ashley slapped his head

" hey cc" I called back

"How are you kid?" He asked taking the computer and lifting it up moving to the other bed.

He sat down and set it in front of him and I laughed as I heard Ashley wine

" sure cc, you can take the laptop, it's not like I wanted to Skype my girlfriend or anything"

Cc ignored him and stared at the screen

" so as I was saying, how are you?"

I groaned

" want to talk about something else?" " mm no now we have to talk about this" he said and i saw his eyes flick next to him.

" ash why don't you go to the other room and see what the others are up to" cc said and I heard Ashley groan

" every time I Skype her one you guys take it away" he mumbled before I heard the door open and close.

I chuckled a little before cc's eyes turned back to the screen

"So, Parents still hounding you on college?" He questioned and I nodded

" they agreed to let me skip college this time "I said rubbing my face.

" that's great!" He exclaimed and I groaned again covering my face.

" but that's only if I get out" I said and it grew quiet

" oh.."

I shook my head

" I have a month and I don't know what the fuck to do" I said and He stayed quiet

"As you said you have about a month, so don't stress, you'll figure it out" he said and I groaned again before nodding.

"So besides that how have you been?" He asked cautiously

" good" I said and I saw his eyes stare through the screen at me.

" and you've been keeping our promise?" He questioned and instantly my stomach twisted as the memories of last night replayed in my head.

The stress and torment had been too much that I cracked. After being silent for a few seconds cc's eyes saddened

" Jess you didn't.."

I felt a warm tear fall down my cheek and I instantly swiped it away.

" I'm sorry" I said my voice cracking halfway through and he sighed sadly

" Jess we told you, you had one more chance.. I have to tell jake" he said and my head shot up , I could feel fear shoot up my spine, he couldn't, if he did then jake would tell my parents.

" no cc you can't, if you do he'll tell my parents, they already are disappointed, do you understand how much that would go up?" I stuttered feeling tears fall faster as my breath quickened

" you can't please ill try ill try harder" I said quickly burying my head in my hands

" hey, calm down, please calm down" he said and I tried to calm down but I couldn't.

He sighed out and I lifted my head seeing him rake a hand through his hair

" I just don't know what to do though, Jess it's been 3 years and you can't stop, I can't keep this from your brother,"

I stayed silent and he sighed again

" did you tell Ashley?"

I shook my head and he rubbed his head again

"okay ill make you a deal, I'm gana tell jake and the others"

My blood drained

"but c-"

" wait" he said and I stayed silent

" but I'm gana convince him to not tell your parents, okay? if he has kept the secret this long then he can keep it longer okay?" He asked and I let out a breath nodding

" fine" I said and he smiled just as I heard the door slam open


" okay it's my turn" I heard Ashley call before the laptop was picked up and dropped on the other bed.

Ashley propped down and I smiled again.

" Jesus Christ fine" I heard cc mutter Ashley shook his head and smiled at the screen as the door slam.

He kept looking and suddenly confusion crossed his face.

" hey, did he make you cry?" He asked and I remembered there were still hot tears in my eyes .

I shook my head and wiped them away

" no , uh i mean yeah, well we were just discussing something" I muttered and he furrowed his eyes

"That being?" I stayed quiet looking down and fiddling my sleeves and I saw his mouth open a little

" you didn't.."

I nodded

" I did"

" Jess.." He trailed off an I shook my head wiping my face

" I'm sorry, I know I promised I just couldn't take it I'm sorry" I stuttered

" no, no don't be I know you're stressed, I just wish you wouldn't resort to that" he said and I nodded

" you're too beautiful for that, understand? I really wish you'd stop hurting that beautiful skin of yours."

I smiled a little wiping my face.

" I miss you, I can't wait until I can see you again" he added and I smiled knowing he never knew what to say in these situations , he also knew I didn't like talking about it so he always tried to distract me.

" I miss you too"

" I promise that we'll be together again soon" he added and I smiled making him smile wider.

" see that's what I love" he called and I laughed again flipping off the screen and leaning back into my bed taking the computer with me and tilting it on it's side

" fuck off"

" is that a request?" He said chuckling and I laughed harder

" no! Shut up" I called and he laughed Harder

" oh come on I'm joking, made you laugh though didn't it ?"

" that it did." I added and he smiled

"Then it was a success"

I smiled which turned into a yawn

" tired?" He mocked and I nodded

" want me to hang up?" he asked and i shook my head leaning into the pillow.

"No.. Just stay until I fall asleep?" I saw him a smile a little before nodding.

I closed my eyes a little and it was silent until he started to hum a song I recognized as G.R.I.T.S by From first to Last.

I smiled into the pillow as the song started to blend in with the darkness and my breaths started to slow down.

Notes

Hey guys! Of you didn't already hear, jakes mom Carolyn passed away on Saturday, I hope she rests in peace. <3

Comments

God this story is so good.

Kat Woman Kat Woman
1/22/16

Update pleaseeeee

MiniHemmo1996 MiniHemmo1996
6/19/15

Well no need to rush your perfection

taterbaby taterbaby
3/5/15

The update neeeds to happen

iateurdino iateurdino
1/27/15

I cant get enough of this story

taterbaby taterbaby
5/5/14