I'm a Loaded Gun (Part 2)
This the Memory
Andys POV
Ashley stared at me, pain in his face. "You don't think I don't miss Siren? You don't think I'm not hurting? I know it's been over six months now, but I've gotten over it for the most part. I miss talking with her, I miss kissing her, I miss everything, not just the sex. Sirenwas the first girl I really had a connect with. I've never felt that before! You don't see me shitfaced wasted, yeah I go out and bang chicks but I've always done that. Get yourself together Biersack!"
"I know, I need to. I haven't thought about her in so long, but recently it's like everywhere I turn, she's there. I've been getting flashbacks of everything. I member when I first met her and she was wearing those pink shorts and a white blouse and I thought she was a complete prep, but so beautiful in another way. Then when she stepped out of the bus when Siren so we could take them to the VIP party with Matt and everyone for the festival, my jaw dropped. Then I remember that fuck Seth putting his hands all over her at the party, when I got my first chance to talk with her. She came back to the bus with me, telling me everything about her messed up relationship with him. Then that day at soundcheck, he was standing there, so pissed looking. I went up to tell him to knock off the attitude, this was her day not his. Thats when he told me if he didnt get some from her he would keep getting it from this chick at their school. Je called Reya a worthelss piece of shit that woudnt put out. I wanted to fucking murder him then and there. I never told her that, i had ran into her backstage and told her not to look for him, he was pissed. She asked what had hapoened since she saw us talking. I took her back to our bus to watch over her. Then I remember walking outside of bus, I heard her yelling stop, and no, wait. I pulled open the door and he had her pinned down on the couch, she was so terrified and I flung his ass across the bus and shoved him out the door. She was so scared. Her eyes were pleading with herself not to cry. I saw the razor, she had been about to cut herself. She was so scared to sleep alone that night. You and siren were out and she came over to out bus. That's when Sam Jinxx and I saw how badly bruised she was. I took her back to my room so she could sleep, and she begged me not to leave her alone. When I woke up that morning we were wrapped around each other. It was that afternoon that Seth took her. I was so concerned when I couldn't find her, and when no one had seen her I was panicking. I remember we got to thr hotel and I saw Seth's car. No one could stop me when I got through that door, hitting that fucker Travis and then that's when I saw Reya. Ash, do you remember that night?"
"It's been a long time since I've thought about it. I've never seen you like that Andy, pure rage."
"I opened the door, she was almost naked, covered in bruises, cowaring from Seth, he was pressing her into the bed, hands all over her, and I don't even know what happened. I know he was in the wall then and I was standing over Reya as she sunk to the floor and went into shock."
"I remember now. You rode with her in the ambulance. I called Siren and she was in tears. I had rushed back to the festival to comfort her since I knew you could handle Rey. Siren was so upset, I held her in my arms that entire night as she cried. She told me that night that she never trusted anyone, and that she was a cutter too. She swore she stop. I'd never been so worried in my life Andy. I've bimetallic fans who were cutters so many times, and yes I was sorry for them, genuinely. I'd never felt so protective ever. I wanted to just never let her go." Ashley sat across from me at the table, eyes watery.
"Ash, that's how I feel with Reya. I walked in on her suicide attempt. I thought she was gone forever. Siren and I had to save her, if her parents ever had any idea about her doing that she'd be locked up in a padded cell. It was those fucking antidepressants. I remember the first time I kissed her. Ash, I'd never felt that before. It was one simple kiss and I felt like my lips had electricity. Do you remember the night we had a party before we left on tour?"
"Oh yeah, Reya got her first taste of Jack and a hangover."
"Uh huh. She had a black lace dress on, she had gotten a tattoo that day too Ash, with the lyrics to Carolyn under the cross. I felt so proud. I loved being able to sleep with her against me every night. I've never felt so much...chemistry. I never meant to kiss Juliet. It happened. I felt so bad when I realized Reya had seen it. When she sent me that picture in July of her arm, she had cut again. I wanted to kill myself. I wanted to die for hurting her Ash. I fucking things up for you too. I'm so sorry." I felt the tears begin to slide down my eye.
"Andy, I don't blame you. I love you man. I'll always be here. So does this mean you don't want to be with Juliet anymore?"
"I have no idea anymore Ashley. I'll probably fuck this up too."
"Andy don't think like that. Why don't you go outside and take a smoke? It's 70 out today and I know you'll enjoy some quiet time outside. Just cool down a bit before the show." He reached out and clasped a hand on my shoudler and playfully shook me.
I smiled back at him and stepped out of the bus.
Ashleys POV
I'm dead if Andy ever finds this out. I'm the only one left on the bus. I go back to my bunk and oulled out my phone. I find her number and dial. The phone rings, and rings, and rings, fucking answer.
"Uhh...hello?" she answers.
"Hi kitty," I say gently.
"What's this about Ashley?" she huffs.
"Siren, baby, I have a huge problem?"
"What did you run out of chicks to bang?" she spit.
"Siren, the problem is Andy."
"What about Andy?"
"Reya, he's been wasting himself to not think about her. He hates himself for what he did. Kitty, I miss you too. I really do," I say quietly, feeling the hurt.
"Ashy, er- Ashley, please...please don't call me that, please. It, it hurts still."
"What happened baby? Have you...moved on?"
"No..." her voice died off.
"Then what happened? What happened to us?"
"I don't know, I wanted to protect Reya...and myself. Things got complicated."
"Why did they have to be complicated?"
"I don't know Ashley!"
"Kitty, will you please let me at least see you in person? Please sweetie."
The line was silent. "In two weeks Rey and I are going to be in Carmel, Indiana. We are working with a band that we are going to be touring with. We can meet in Indianapolis. Don't bring Andy, just you and I. Reya...Reyas moving on."
"I miss you, baby."
"I miss you too," her voice cracked.
"Don't cry Si. Please don't. I'm so sorry," I whispered into my phone. "I'll call you next week to set up time with you. I'll be thinking of you till then."
"Bye Ashy."
"Bye Kitty."
Ashley stared at me, pain in his face. "You don't think I don't miss Siren? You don't think I'm not hurting? I know it's been over six months now, but I've gotten over it for the most part. I miss talking with her, I miss kissing her, I miss everything, not just the sex. Sirenwas the first girl I really had a connect with. I've never felt that before! You don't see me shitfaced wasted, yeah I go out and bang chicks but I've always done that. Get yourself together Biersack!"
"I know, I need to. I haven't thought about her in so long, but recently it's like everywhere I turn, she's there. I've been getting flashbacks of everything. I member when I first met her and she was wearing those pink shorts and a white blouse and I thought she was a complete prep, but so beautiful in another way. Then when she stepped out of the bus when Siren so we could take them to the VIP party with Matt and everyone for the festival, my jaw dropped. Then I remember that fuck Seth putting his hands all over her at the party, when I got my first chance to talk with her. She came back to the bus with me, telling me everything about her messed up relationship with him. Then that day at soundcheck, he was standing there, so pissed looking. I went up to tell him to knock off the attitude, this was her day not his. Thats when he told me if he didnt get some from her he would keep getting it from this chick at their school. Je called Reya a worthelss piece of shit that woudnt put out. I wanted to fucking murder him then and there. I never told her that, i had ran into her backstage and told her not to look for him, he was pissed. She asked what had hapoened since she saw us talking. I took her back to our bus to watch over her. Then I remember walking outside of bus, I heard her yelling stop, and no, wait. I pulled open the door and he had her pinned down on the couch, she was so terrified and I flung his ass across the bus and shoved him out the door. She was so scared. Her eyes were pleading with herself not to cry. I saw the razor, she had been about to cut herself. She was so scared to sleep alone that night. You and siren were out and she came over to out bus. That's when Sam Jinxx and I saw how badly bruised she was. I took her back to my room so she could sleep, and she begged me not to leave her alone. When I woke up that morning we were wrapped around each other. It was that afternoon that Seth took her. I was so concerned when I couldn't find her, and when no one had seen her I was panicking. I remember we got to thr hotel and I saw Seth's car. No one could stop me when I got through that door, hitting that fucker Travis and then that's when I saw Reya. Ash, do you remember that night?"
"It's been a long time since I've thought about it. I've never seen you like that Andy, pure rage."
"I opened the door, she was almost naked, covered in bruises, cowaring from Seth, he was pressing her into the bed, hands all over her, and I don't even know what happened. I know he was in the wall then and I was standing over Reya as she sunk to the floor and went into shock."
"I remember now. You rode with her in the ambulance. I called Siren and she was in tears. I had rushed back to the festival to comfort her since I knew you could handle Rey. Siren was so upset, I held her in my arms that entire night as she cried. She told me that night that she never trusted anyone, and that she was a cutter too. She swore she stop. I'd never been so worried in my life Andy. I've bimetallic fans who were cutters so many times, and yes I was sorry for them, genuinely. I'd never felt so protective ever. I wanted to just never let her go." Ashley sat across from me at the table, eyes watery.
"Ash, that's how I feel with Reya. I walked in on her suicide attempt. I thought she was gone forever. Siren and I had to save her, if her parents ever had any idea about her doing that she'd be locked up in a padded cell. It was those fucking antidepressants. I remember the first time I kissed her. Ash, I'd never felt that before. It was one simple kiss and I felt like my lips had electricity. Do you remember the night we had a party before we left on tour?"
"Oh yeah, Reya got her first taste of Jack and a hangover."
"Uh huh. She had a black lace dress on, she had gotten a tattoo that day too Ash, with the lyrics to Carolyn under the cross. I felt so proud. I loved being able to sleep with her against me every night. I've never felt so much...chemistry. I never meant to kiss Juliet. It happened. I felt so bad when I realized Reya had seen it. When she sent me that picture in July of her arm, she had cut again. I wanted to kill myself. I wanted to die for hurting her Ash. I fucking things up for you too. I'm so sorry." I felt the tears begin to slide down my eye.
"Andy, I don't blame you. I love you man. I'll always be here. So does this mean you don't want to be with Juliet anymore?"
"I have no idea anymore Ashley. I'll probably fuck this up too."
"Andy don't think like that. Why don't you go outside and take a smoke? It's 70 out today and I know you'll enjoy some quiet time outside. Just cool down a bit before the show." He reached out and clasped a hand on my shoudler and playfully shook me.
I smiled back at him and stepped out of the bus.
Ashleys POV
I'm dead if Andy ever finds this out. I'm the only one left on the bus. I go back to my bunk and oulled out my phone. I find her number and dial. The phone rings, and rings, and rings, fucking answer.
"Uhh...hello?" she answers.
"Hi kitty," I say gently.
"What's this about Ashley?" she huffs.
"Siren, baby, I have a huge problem?"
"What did you run out of chicks to bang?" she spit.
"Siren, the problem is Andy."
"What about Andy?"
"Reya, he's been wasting himself to not think about her. He hates himself for what he did. Kitty, I miss you too. I really do," I say quietly, feeling the hurt.
"Ashy, er- Ashley, please...please don't call me that, please. It, it hurts still."
"What happened baby? Have you...moved on?"
"No..." her voice died off.
"Then what happened? What happened to us?"
"I don't know, I wanted to protect Reya...and myself. Things got complicated."
"Why did they have to be complicated?"
"I don't know Ashley!"
"Kitty, will you please let me at least see you in person? Please sweetie."
The line was silent. "In two weeks Rey and I are going to be in Carmel, Indiana. We are working with a band that we are going to be touring with. We can meet in Indianapolis. Don't bring Andy, just you and I. Reya...Reyas moving on."
"I miss you, baby."
"I miss you too," her voice cracked.
"Don't cry Si. Please don't. I'm so sorry," I whispered into my phone. "I'll call you next week to set up time with you. I'll be thinking of you till then."
"Bye Ashy."
"Bye Kitty."
Notes
A bit of a heartbreaker...sorry, but I needed to put this in. Please go check out the story Love of a Rocker!! Wonderful and hilarious!Alrighty, well I updated my other story too :)
check out Fight For FEAR
i will be updating Worth Fighting For next. I need to collate a bit with my co author (:
Nice to see you back again sister keep it coming xx
3/3/15