True love? Maybe,No, Yes.
Old Dreams and New Begginings
I was walking down the street in the middle of the night I was beat up and I knew I couldn't go on much further. I had no where to go anymore but I kept going anyways I had no idea of where I was going and I had no plan. Suddenly I saw headlights flash in front of me but they were to high to be a car maybe a semi or a bus before I could think too much on it I crashed to the pavement below me and my world went black.
I woke up crying I have been having the same dream every night for the past six years although you can't really call it a dream as it's really a memory. So the dream/ memory always ends in the same spot with me waking up crying. I always remember this as the night my life truly started as it was the night I started over. It was the night Andy and the rest of the guys saved me.
Here let me fill you in real fast, the night they found me I had already been out on my own for five months. You see I was thirteen when my parents kicked me out but after they did I had no where to go they told all my family members not to take me in because I needed to learn my "Lesson" so I was forced to make things work for myself. I had managed to live off of nearly nothing but when the guys found me I hadn't eaten for almost three weeks. The guys had taken me in and helped me and I had lived with them ever since they were my family now and I wouldn't trade that for the world. I looked at my phone and saw that it was two in the morning. I got up quietly trying not to wake the boys up we were in their tour bus so that was very hard to do but nonetheless I made it to the small bathroom that was my destination. I walked in and shut the door before turning around and opening the 1 by 2 foot window that was high up on the wall I pulled the lid off of the toilet and grabbed the pack of cigarettes that I kept taped under the lid before replacing the lid. I grabbed the lighter that I kept in the box and a single cigarette before I hopped on top of the toilet to reach the window because it was to far up for me since I was only five foot five. I lit the cigarette and took a long drag once I couldn't hold it in anymore I stuck my head out the window and blew out the smoke. Now I know what you're thinking "Why is she sneaking cigarettes doesn’t like pretty much the whole band smoke?" W ell to answer your question yes they do but they don't like me smoking because they are freakishly overprotective and know that I am way worse about smoking than they are. Like they don't need cigarettes they don't start to shake when they don't have a cigarette they don't go insane if they haven't had a smoke in a few hours they don't start second hand smoking just so they can function if they don't have a cigarette. So yeah I have an addiction but hey it's not illegal so you really can't get mad at me. I had just finished my cigarette when the bus lurched forward suddenly causing me to fall forward off the toilet.
"Ahhh, FUCK!!!"
I heard someone hurrying towards the bathroom, shit I am so dead if they find out I've been smoking they will be so pissed. I scrambled to hide what evidence was left an d make the room smell normal but I couldn't move fast enough, Andy burst in to the bathroom and rushed over to me.
"Ah fuck , Kaylee are you okay?"
"Yeah, Andy, I'm fine."
"Good, now why does the bathroom smell like smoke?"
"Oh you know, just blew out a candle."
"Uhuh sure you did."
"I'm sorry Andy but I had the dream again and the stress just got to me and I really needed a smoke, like badly." I started to cry at the end and I knew he would forgive me.
"Oh alright I'll let it slide this one time but don't do it again, please Kay?"
"Andy I don't understand you, all of you guy's smoke so why can't I?"
"Because Kaylee you are completely addicted you let them control you, you spend all day smoking or thinking about the next time you're gonna smoke."
"But Andy I need them!!!"
"No you don't."
"Yes I do Andy."
"Come here Kay."
I crawled over to him and he held me in his arms while I cried, I'd never let him know but I was secretly in love with him. I must have fallen asleep because I woke up in the morning with a killer headache and Andy's arms around me, I could get used to this.
I woke up crying I have been having the same dream every night for the past six years although you can't really call it a dream as it's really a memory. So the dream/ memory always ends in the same spot with me waking up crying. I always remember this as the night my life truly started as it was the night I started over. It was the night Andy and the rest of the guys saved me.
Here let me fill you in real fast, the night they found me I had already been out on my own for five months. You see I was thirteen when my parents kicked me out but after they did I had no where to go they told all my family members not to take me in because I needed to learn my "Lesson" so I was forced to make things work for myself. I had managed to live off of nearly nothing but when the guys found me I hadn't eaten for almost three weeks. The guys had taken me in and helped me and I had lived with them ever since they were my family now and I wouldn't trade that for the world. I looked at my phone and saw that it was two in the morning. I got up quietly trying not to wake the boys up we were in their tour bus so that was very hard to do but nonetheless I made it to the small bathroom that was my destination. I walked in and shut the door before turning around and opening the 1 by 2 foot window that was high up on the wall I pulled the lid off of the toilet and grabbed the pack of cigarettes that I kept taped under the lid before replacing the lid. I grabbed the lighter that I kept in the box and a single cigarette before I hopped on top of the toilet to reach the window because it was to far up for me since I was only five foot five. I lit the cigarette and took a long drag once I couldn't hold it in anymore I stuck my head out the window and blew out the smoke. Now I know what you're thinking "Why is she sneaking cigarettes doesn’t like pretty much the whole band smoke?" W ell to answer your question yes they do but they don't like me smoking because they are freakishly overprotective and know that I am way worse about smoking than they are. Like they don't need cigarettes they don't start to shake when they don't have a cigarette they don't go insane if they haven't had a smoke in a few hours they don't start second hand smoking just so they can function if they don't have a cigarette. So yeah I have an addiction but hey it's not illegal so you really can't get mad at me. I had just finished my cigarette when the bus lurched forward suddenly causing me to fall forward off the toilet.
"Ahhh, FUCK!!!"
I heard someone hurrying towards the bathroom, shit I am so dead if they find out I've been smoking they will be so pissed. I scrambled to hide what evidence was left an d make the room smell normal but I couldn't move fast enough, Andy burst in to the bathroom and rushed over to me.
"Ah fuck , Kaylee are you okay?"
"Yeah, Andy, I'm fine."
"Good, now why does the bathroom smell like smoke?"
"Oh you know, just blew out a candle."
"Uhuh sure you did."
"I'm sorry Andy but I had the dream again and the stress just got to me and I really needed a smoke, like badly." I started to cry at the end and I knew he would forgive me.
"Oh alright I'll let it slide this one time but don't do it again, please Kay?"
"Andy I don't understand you, all of you guy's smoke so why can't I?"
"Because Kaylee you are completely addicted you let them control you, you spend all day smoking or thinking about the next time you're gonna smoke."
"But Andy I need them!!!"
"No you don't."
"Yes I do Andy."
"Come here Kay."
I crawled over to him and he held me in his arms while I cried, I'd never let him know but I was secretly in love with him. I must have fallen asleep because I woke up in the morning with a killer headache and Andy's arms around me, I could get used to this.
11/13/12