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Mibba

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Building Yourself Up and Falling with Grace

Narrator.

“Juliet!” Amy cooed, “How are you, my girl?” Andy’s mother and Juliet embraced.

“I’m good, I’m good,” Juliet said as they pulled away.

“That’s great! Andy!” Amy kissed him on the cheek and hugged him.

“Hey mom.”

“Who’s your friend?” Amy judged Grace standing on the edge of their doorstep.

“Mom, you remember Grace?”

“Grace from high sch- Gracie!” Amy cooed, now recognising her. She then looked down at the child at Grace’s feet. “And who is th…” she trailed off. She looked at Andy, then at Grace and then at Andy again.

“This is Ashton, mom… Your grandchild,” Andy said. At that, Juliet entered the house to greet everyone else, not waiting for Andy, not wanting to be there.

“Hello Ash, I’m your nana,” she knelt down and smiled at the groggy boy. “You can call me nana or nan or granny - anything you’d like,” she smiled. Grace stopped holding her breath, feeling relieved Amy wasn’t upset.

“I think I’ll call you granny,” Ashton told her shyly before clinging to Grace’s leg. Grace smiled as Amy laughed in response, emphasising the uncomfortable tense atmosphere.

“Grace,” Amy sighed, opening her arms.

“Mrs. Biersack, it’s been a long time,” Grace said.

“It has been indeed,” they hugged. They all walked through the passage. “You could have given me some warning,” Amy scolded her son.

“I was never certain,” Andy retorted. Amy rolled her eyes inadvertently.

“And the possibility didn’t qualify as something you should mention either?”

“Can we talk about this later?”

“Fine, but we will talk.”

A lovely meal later, Grace met more people - a few of which were or had been members of Andy’s band - and the family and friends. She really connected with a short girl named Sandra who used to be Black Veil Brides’ drummer before their current one. They had similar attitudes towards stuff.

The night went on and Ashton had collapsed by Grace’s feet in the foetal position. “He’s very adorable,” Sandra commented.

“Why thank you,” Grace smiled to herself. She was so proud of her baby.

“Where’d you get his name from?” she asked, leaning back in her chair. She rocked the RayBan chillin’ look.

“Me and a friend were discussing name and Ashley came up which didn’t mind but didn’t love either. So we just went from there and came up with Ashton,” Grace explained.

“Yeah, it’s not a common name. Well, I haven’t heard it before,” she smiled behind her glasses. “Have you met Andy’s friend Ashley? He’s in BVB too.”

“No, I haven’t. I’m only really meeting people today,” Grace replied.

“Oh, all right. You’re real new then? He plays bass. Andy’s now got two Ash’s to keep track of,” she giggled a little.

The pair just talked about useless stuff and got a little tipsy. Grace was fond of Sandra. She was fun and spoke her mind but was humble and shy at the same time. It was refreshing. She didn’t ask where Grace was from or what her story was. She just took her for what she was. Grace really appreciated that. She never told anyone her story.

After a good chat, Sandra took Grace around the house, introducing her to everyone.

“And this is the guy I mentioned before, Ashley,” Grace’s face dropped when Ashley turned towards the pair. Ashley, too, froze.

“Ash, this is Grace, one of Andy’s old girlfriends. Their kid’s name is Ash too! How cool is that?” Sandra went on, not noticing the friction. Ashley and Grace stared at each other, having a conversation through their eyes. It mostly involved conveying a message of panic and secrecy.

“Wow, yeah, cool,” Ashley said, distracted.

“You’re uncle Ash to an Ash,” Sandra laughed at her own joke.

“Yeah…” Ashely and Grace were still frozen in each other’s presence. Both were panicking inside. Ashley had been one of Grace’s clients.

Grace

I was repulsed by my own smell. I absolutely stank. I stood defeated at the entrance to the soup kitchen I had managed to find last time I was in this part of town. I memorised the times they were open off the sign on the door. I was going to need them again. Having time to kill, no more than $20 and no belongings, I slumped against the soup kitchen’s wall and closed my eyes.

About… I don’t know, an hour later maybe, I felt someone slide down next to me. It was that guy who had made sure I had a roof over my head last time I was here. I gave him a weak smile and he gave one back. Neither of us said a word as we waited for the kitchen to open. Once it did, we lined up and got our meals.

“What the actual fuck?” someone behind me and the guy said, “that’s fucking bull shit!” The guy and I gaped at the man. He looked in his 40s with shaggy brown hair drooping from his ripped beanie and had grey hair speckled in his beard. He was irritated the server gave me an extra slice bread.

“Why does she get extra and none of us do?” Shaggy demanded at the lady.

“Because I’m pregnant,” I said in a small voice.

“And how do we know that? You could just be bullshitting,” he argued. I looked at the lady who tried to explain their policy.

“She ain’t pregnant, look at her!” he threw his hand in direction of my stomach to back up his point. The guy I was with slipped away to a table. The lady again explained, saying gently that everyone here is in need and we all need to be grateful and it’s only another slice of bread. He seemed to let it go, huffing and shoving his tray in front of her for his serving. With that, I went and sat down next to the guy from last time on one of the mismatching chairs around the room.

I was only a quarter way through my meal and just managed to strike up small conversation with the guy when Shaggy snuck up behind us.

“Hey!” I yelled and stood up when he grabbed my plate, tipped my bowl of soup over as he did and ran off to the other side of the room. Many people turned and looked to see what had happened before losing interest. Not to mention, no one did anything. The servers cleaning or still serving paid no attention or avoided eye contact. No one got seconds in this place. That was the rules. I sighed and sat back down. The guy beside me had sat my bowl back down properly, managing to save what he could, giving me sympathetic looks.

“Thanks,” I muttered, slumping in my seat and eating the small amount left. When I was done, the guy beside me grabbed my bowl, pouring a little from his into mine.

“Thank you,” I smiled at him, eating it all up. It was nice to know not everyone around here were distant douches who only thought of themselves. People did care about others.

The guy and I stuck together after that, neither of us having anywhere specific to go. I learnt his name was Daniel and he was my age. As night began to settle in, we didn’t manage to get a spot for the night.

“Come on,” Daniel waved for me to follow him.

We walked the streets under the black of night for a while and he seemed to be looking for someone. He started checking alleyway after alleyway. This was my first night on the streets, sleeping rough. I felt homeless, lonely and scared. It was dark and scary but I was glad I made a friend, even if I knew nothing about him. I took in his features under the streetlights. He had dark black hair and chocolate brown eyes and a tanned complexion that wasn’t caused by the sun.

“Oi, guys!” he called out to a group down the current alleyway he’d looked down. Every shadowed figure turned and looked our way. There was 5 of them.

We got closer and they greeted us with ‘hey’s and ‘what’s up’s.

“This is Grace,” he said to all of them and they said hello. They were all guys except for this one girl who looked like she would win any fight or punch on no matter who the other person was. Daniel introduced them all by their nicknames.

“Kitchen full?” a guy asked from under his beanie, his fingerless gloves bringing a cigarette to his cracked lips. Daniel nodded, accepting a smoke from the person next to him.

“Frank’s?” one suggested.

“Nah, it’ll be full this time a night,” the chick said, stomping out her cigarette. Every single one of them was having a drag apart from me, not that they didn’t offer me one. I did not belong here.

“The house?” Daniel suggested and the whole group agreed. We set off as a group, Daniel and I trailing along behind.

“What’s the house?” I asked him.

“It’s where a lot of bums go. It’s the section of houses and apartments that aren’t built completely yet and we just hang there till morning,” he replied.

We walked down a main road away from the cluster of apartments and houses and into the open with trees and empty lots. We kept walking to a layout of a new estate where a few houses and apartments had their frames, basic walls and roofs standing. Other than that, there were only roads and street posts throughout the estate.

We got to the nearest house, it beginning to rain and we took refuge under its roof, sitting in a weird circle against a cement wall huddling together. We could still feel the breeze as there were no windows yet. I did not feel safe at all under the frame of timber, brick and metal that looked like it could fall down any minute. I only felt safe because I was with other people – I wasn’t alone – and they were in the same situation as me. It felt wrong seeing as we were trespassing and squatting but I wasn’t going to complain. I didn’t have anywhere else to go.

Someone started a fire burning sticks and abandoned wood on the concrete slab we were sitting on. The heat was comforting. The nights were starting to get cold and the weather was going to start getting rainy and dreary soon. My clothes weren’t going to last through that. What the fuck was I going to do? I sighed, leaning back against the planks of wood.

Daniel struck up conversation this time, asking me how I had gotten homeless. I didn’t tell him the whole story, just that my mom had kicked me out because I’d done something unforgivable. We huddled closer together in a corner as the night got colder. I felt the material of his jacket against my bare arm and saw his breath next to me.

“You cold?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I replied half-heartedly. I just wanted this night to be over.

“Here,” he said taking off his jacket, then his sweater to use as a blanket and pillow between us.

“Thank you so much,” I told him, moving down and lying next to him in the make shift bed. I felt like such a burden. That’s what I had become – a burden on the margin of society.

“No problem,” he said, pulling me closer to him by the waist and covering us with his jacket.

The wind could be heard, whipping through the planks of wood and little amount of brick that made up the walls and rain could be heard hitting the tin roof then running down the walls. Daniel put his arms around me, resting one hand on my waist against the concrete and the other on the small of back. I didn’t mind the contact at this point. It was warmth.

“How did someone so pretty as you get kicked out of home?” he asked me. I blushed and judged his face. He had a look in his eyes I couldn’t put my finger on.

“I don’t know, it just happened…” I trailed off. That was when Daniel leaned in for a kiss. I froze while his lips met mine. He continued the kiss, despite my lack of involvement.

“What is it?” He asked when he pulled away, peering down at me.

“Sorry, I just can’t,” I told him.

“Why not? We don’t have to do it –” I sat up, “we could just have some fun,” he said.

“Yeah but –”

“Plus, it’s cold and lonely on the streets,” he tried to kiss me again.

“I’m just not interested, Daniel,” I told him, hoping he wouldn’t get angry.

“Come on, just for one night,” he held my upper arms. I rotated my shoulder at their joints, flicking his hands off.

“I’m not wanting any type of relationship,” I stated.

“It’s not a relationship, honey,” he pushed his body against mine on the concrete and held by body while he kissed me once again. I pushed against him and rolled away from him, the bare concrete unleashing cold through my clothes.

“I don’t want to!” I told him, “No ‘fun’, no anything,” I got to my feet.

“Fine! Fuck off then!” He yelled, sitting up and glaring at me.

“Everything all right over there?” the chick by the fire asked.

“This bitch expects us to let her stay here with us even though she ain’t gonna give us anything in return,” he spat. There was a moment of silence. Those round the fire turned away from us, no longer interested. Seriously?

“Why you still fucking here? I told you to fuck off! After the shit I did for you, you’re fucking ungrateful,” he spat.
“Fine, I’m gone,” I muttered, walking out from between the concrete foundation and the roof into the rain.

Fuck.

***********

Andy

As expected, when I brought Grace and Ashton home with me, Juliet was not happy. I could feel the hurt and hatred carved into my back as I led her to Grace and our baby. Juliet put up with it, she was polite enough to them, which I suppose was the best she was going to do in such a situation. In the car, I sat in the driver’s seat, controlling the car, feeling each and every glance and glare Juliet shot me. There was a screaming match coming up. From her, and probably a lecture from mom. Not one inch of atmosphere in the vehicle was pleasant. I swore at Grace in my head for trying to make small talk.

After the barbecue at my parents’ house, I managed to convince mom to let Grace and Ashton sleep at their place tonight. After catching up with everyone, having a jam to some new material with everyone joining in, everyone went home. I stayed to talk to mom as Grace settled Ashton into the spare room they were sleeping in.

“Andy…” Mom started, sounding disappointed.

“Mom, I know, okay?” I told her. “It just happened,” I explained.

“How does something like this just happen? You told me Grace moved away and you broke up because of that,” she regurgitated my 16 year old lies.

“She… She told me she was pregnant all those years ago, and I didn’t handle it very well. I didn’t tell anyone - obviously - and then she just disappeared.”

“Disappeared?” Mom didn’t sound convinced.

“Yep, she vanished.”

***************

Narrator

Andy stood at the end of the path to Grace’s family home, looking up at the gloomy house. It had been a week and Grace hadn’t shown herself at school. She was the talk of the students. Everyone knew when had happened. Andy was being asked what they were going to do now that Grace was pregnant. Were they going to get married? Were they going to move in together? Did they have their parents’ support? Where was Grace now? Was she resting up, preparing? Had they bought stuff for the nursery yet? Andy had no answers for these questions. He had no answers even when he went searching for them.

He walked along the cobble stones towards the front door. He was nervous. He had a feeling in his stomach telling him this was not going to go well. He rang the doorbell and heard it’s sound throughout the house. The wooden door opened but the security door remained between them.

“What do you want?” It was Grace’s father.

“I just wanted to talk to Grace,” Andy ignored the rude greeting - if you could call it that.

“She’s not here. Go home.” The wooden door swung on its hinges.

“What do you mean ‘she’s not here’?” Andy asked, before the door closed shut.

“She’s not here,” her father repeated. “She doesn’t live here anymore. It’s not that hard to comprehend.”

“Well, where is she living then?” Andy asked.

“Fucked if I know, and I don’t want to know.” Andy’s mouth fell open. He wasn’t expecting that. The hostility, sure. The blatant rejection, not at all.

“Forget about her, boy. She’s gone and won’t be back,” her father advised, his tone somewhat softening.

“What about the baby?” he asked. “What’s going to happen to it?”

“I don’t know, that’s up to the mother. If she has any sense she’ll rid herself - and you - of it,” the dark tone was back. Andy glanced at his feet. He asked himself ‘what happens now?’

“I don’t know what else to tell you. Check abortion clinics or something, but she’s not welcome here again.” With that he shut the door for good. Andy sighed and went back the way he came.

From that day on, every bus stop, train station, gas station or public area Andrew Dennis Biersack came across, he looked for a lonely, rejected and young pregnant girl. He never found that girl again.

Andy

“Her parents were rude and told me to forget about her when I went looking,” Andy informed his mother. She raised en eyebrow at him.

“Mom, I checked everywhere, even missing person sites but to be honest, I was relieved she’d vanished. I didn’t have to face what had happened,” he admitted. Amy’s face softened.

“Come here, my boy,” they hugged under the kitchen lights.

“Anyway, what’s done is done. And, I really appreciate you letting them stay here. Juliet’s upset enough as it is.”

“You can’t blame her, she’s not the only one shocked and confused. Are you going to tell your fans-”

“No!” Andy exclaimed, “That’s not fair on Juliet or the band. Everyone has to be comfortable with it. And knowing Grace, she probably won’t be.” Amy nodded at her soon.

They then said their goodnights, told each other they loved each other and Andy went to leave. Juliet was no where to be found. Their car was gone. She’d left without him.

Grace

My heard was pounding out of my chest when I sat down in a secluded park underneath a dreary lamp post. My adrenalin was racing around my body. I was terrified. I was alone at night and out in the open. I counted in my head, trying to calm myself down. It wasn’t working. What the hell was going to happy to my baby? It was going to die inside of me. I crawled into a ball on top of the slates of wood and cried.

It wasn’t long before the sky, too, began to cry rain over the town. I shivered, sitting up and running my hands down my arms trying to create heat. Thinking quickly, I ran over to the playground and crawled into the tight cylindrical play slide, shielding me from the rain. Somehow I fell asleep through the sounds of rain drops hitting the plastic surface of the slide. I had never felt so alone than in that moment.

***

After talking with Sandra for a while, I needed to use the bathroom after the wine and soft drink I’d had. I got up after I song I was enjoying finished and went into the hallway passage and towards the back of the house where the bathroom was, astonished with myself that I could remember after all this time. When I got there, I knocked to find it was occupied but the flush 2 seconds later indicated it was about to be vacant. The door opened and the occupant came out.

“Sorry, I-” Both of us froze. It was Ashley. We both stood there with our mouths hung open.

“I-” he started. “No one knows. You can’t say anything,” he blurted as fast as lightning.

“I won’t, as long as you don’t either, no one knows about my side of it either,” I told him. He nodded profusely.

“Act like we don’t know each other?”

“Done.”

Notes

Hope you liked it!

P.S. Very quickly proof read...

Comments

Ugh, I was not expecting to see Juliet in this lol. I can't wait for an update!

Mrs.Biersack Mrs.Biersack
1/28/14
This was one of the first fanfics I read on here and I just found it again... It's amazing, I wish you would still update :) This is very original and definitely one of my favorites.
Oh my goodness, I love this story. Update soon.
Holy shit. This story... so many feels. Please, keep writing. Please.
JessiBiersack JessiBiersack
4/4/13
Holy shit. This story... so many feels. Please, keep writing. Please.
JessiBiersack JessiBiersack
4/4/13