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My Batman

You're By Yourself With Me Tonight

Andy's P.O.V.

"Let's play a question game, I want to know more about you." [i] Why? [/i] Why? Why did I say that? How lame am I. Christofer visibly stiffened.

"Umm, okay, sure." His voice is slightly scratchy from being unused and it is heaven in my ears.

"Cool. You know the only rule is that we have to alternate turns between questions." His slight nod is all I need before I am launching into my last question.

"What is your favorite color?" He cracks a sort of secretive smile like he is having an inside joke with himself.

"Blue." All I can do to respond is nod my head.

"When is your birthday?" It's my turn to crack a smile because it is clear that he is going easy on me.

We stick to simple enough questions for a while, but we get stuck for an hour when Christofer asks me who my favorite super hero is and I have to stand up and pull down my pants to show off my Batman boxer briefs. We talk about everything that makes Batman great, and how amazing the movies all were. The questions stay trivial through our discussion until we stop laughing and it's Christofer's turn again.

"Uhh... my brother." I cough to clear my throat and fight back tears that are burning the back of my eyes and the cries at the back of my throat. The look in his eyes says "sorry" and tells me that he won't ask another question like that.

"Why did you transfer?" He doesn't freeze, but his breathing picks up and becomes shallow. The way his eyes are glued downward and his hand are playing with the carpet would be really cute, except he is hesitating to answer the question.

"Sorry. You do't have to answer if you don't feel comfortable telling me-" He is shaking his head strongly, telling me not to say that.

"No, I should tell you... but, can I ask you a question first?"

"Yes." I know I'm breaking the rules of the game but I can't say no when he has that much insecurity etched across his features.

"Are we friends?" I didn't think it was possible for him to look any more unsure of himself, but here he is unconsciously curling in on himself as he waits for my response. I can't stand that look so I reach out and rest my hand on his forearm.

"Of course. You are one of my closest friends and I've only known you for a little while. I don't know what it is about you for a little while. I don't know what it is about you, but I am drawn to you. I just want to get to know you. " His cheeks flush and he gives a slight nod before he talks again, like that was all he needed to hear to continue.

"This is kind of a long story, but I think you should hear the whole thing."

"Take your time. I'm here to listen."

" I used to be a really popular kid in school. From pre-school, I was always that strange but cool kid. My interests did not coincide with anyone else's and that never bothered me, to be different like that. I was the young music prodigy with uke skills that no one would challenge. I traveled around a lot with my family, never staying at the same school for more than a year. In seventh grade, I started to become aware of everyone trying to get into relationships and stuff, and then I thought about myself in the same position and realized that it would never happen with a girl." His breath shakes a little, but he continues on.

"I don't know what came over me. My best friend that year, his name was Oliver, he was the closest friend I had ever had. We did everything together. We had sleep overs and we went out together all the time. I thought he was as comfortable with me as I was with him because he was never shy about breaking boundaries and invading my personal space. I guess I was wrong. That Valentine's day, I gave him a card and asked him to be my Valentine. I didn't know it, but I had outed myself by doing that. I don't even remember how the teasing started. I just remember the shocked look on his face as he took the card from me. He never got the chance to talk to me again because a sort of invisible built up between me and everyone else. I shut myself out just as much as they had isolated me. We moved at the end of that school year and I did not look back. The next school wasn't so horrible. You know how eighth grade is when the jerk in every future jock starts to show, so that's how it went. I kept myself at a distance to prevent myself from the pain of losing a friend like that again, and I didn't tell anyone I was gay either because I didn't want the problems that came with the confession. Of course they found it easier to just verbally abuse me always being alone. I endured it because it was only middle school and I would be able to get away soon enough. I had convinced myself that high school would be different, better." There is a long pause. Maybe he's done. The harsh, dark chuckle he lets out shocks me.

"Fuck was I wrong. It was like I had it written across my face, 'I'm gay, take advantage of me.' The verbal abuse mixed in with physical abuse quickly. It took less than a month. One of the seniors at my first high school told me to go to a party at his house. Me being the idiot I was, I went. That was the biggest mistake of my life. He dragged me off to a room where no one would interrupt us." My breath catches in my throat and I can slowly feel myself losing control.

"The worst part was that after... he convinced me that I wanted it; that I l-liked it." He has his eyes shut but I know there are tears behind them.

"Who does that? It's so m-messed up. I was-" Another long pause. I want to reach out to him, maybe? Just make him know that it's alright? Before I can decide on anything, he's taking a sharp, shaky breath and speaking again.

"My parents found out the same night because I told Taylor. I couldn't keep that in me and not tell anyone. I am so glad she told them because I don't know what I would have done otherwise. They sued the guy and got him 4 years in jail. I changed schools the same week. We moved all the way across the country, but nothing changed. I would come home everyday with a new bruise to hide. I started cutting the same year. It was too emotionally draining to keep everything in. My parents got worried about me. I felt so bad about making them worry. They made me change schools to end the year. Sophomore year was the worst. I went to 6 different schools, each damaging me in a new way. I started locking for the good in my life, and that is how I ended up with a lot of these tattoos. The ones on my arms especially keep me going, they remind me-" He shifts further away from me, the falling sun casting odd shadows on his face.

"Last year, this kid started to act friendly with me, and he made think that he actually liked me or once. How stupid was I to think that? He got me to sleep with him, and then he told me the truth. The football team paid him to get to me." My body is shaking and I won't even try to stop it.

"I completely lost it." He turns his arms ever so I can see the smooth side where thick black bands of ink wrap around. There is a faint, raised line under each tattoo. I look to his eyes, silently asking his permission. He just stares back at me, a clear "okay." I reach my hand down to wrap around the two scars.

"I spent two months of my junior year recovering and then in careful care, under watch by several psych specialists. Tay spent all of her free time me, just lending me comfort. When I was completely healed, we came out here. Almost immediately, Tay found Alex, and I saw that she was happy for once. I couldn't just keep dragging her around and think it wouldn't hurt her. I settled. Of course, the jocks got on me right away, but I've had worse." His voice is a hushed, shaking mess.

"I've never had friends, especially like the ones I have here. I don't know why they stick with me, but they do. You know, I always feel like they might just get up and leave me one day. I am waiting for it. This can't be real. You can't be real. Why-" He breaks, and I don't hesitate to pull him into a tight hug.

"Hey. Christofer, don't say that. Of course I'm real. This is all real. No one is leaving you, especially not me." I hold him like his life depends on it. He cries for a long time. When he runs out of tears, his body still shakes. I look up at the clock on my wall. It's almost one in the morning.

I lift him off of the floor and take him over to my bed to lie down. His phone has been buzzing for a while. He's been one all day, his family is probably worried. The display on his phone flashes "Tay" calling with a picture of Christofer smiling and hugging a girl I recognize from school who is smiling just as brightly. Picking it up is the only logical thing.

"Chris, my god! Finally, you pick up your phone. I was worried that-"

"Umm, this isn't Chris."

"Oh no, is something wrong? Did something happen to him Andy?"

"No, he is fine." I can't help but to train my eyes on his crumpled form on my bed. " He went out to run errands with me today, and we came back to mine to hang out. We started talking and he told me some stuff."

"Oh." Her voice is a shocked whisper, and I feel the same way inside. I get the feeling that he's never told anyone outside of his family about his struggle.

"Yeah, he's exhausted. He's staying the night if that's okay."

"Sure, just- take care of him, yeah?" Her voice lifts a tad, like she's suddenly hopeful.

"Of course. I would never let anything happen to him."

Thanks for answering the phone. Goodnight." The dial tone rings in my ear for a minute before I put the phone down.

Christofer's eyes are closed, but his breathing says he is still wide awake. I slide under the covers next to him and pull his body tight to my chest. He snuggles in tighter and I don't ever want to let him go. My fingers card through his hair and scratch across his scalp because I know that's what always makes me feel better.

"I am sorry for unloading all of that on you." His voice is less than a whisper; I almost missed it because I didn't expect him to speak again tonight.

"It's okay. I am glad you told me. Like I said, I am here to listen, and besides, now I know more about you."

"Thanks." The one word is punctuated with a yawn, signaling the end of this short conversation.

"Goodnight babe, sleep well. You deserve it." Wait, did I just say babe? I am completely fucked.


the other 9 chapters of this are on regular mibba, it's a complete story

Sylarisahero Sylarisahero

I, absolutely loved this story. There's not really much more to say than that, I loved it. It was...wow.

Thanks <3
Halona Halona
I canĀ“t find it on Mibba...:/
Halona Halona