My feet are dangling off the edge

A door down stairs slammed shut making me open my eyes and look around trying to regain memory of where I was.

I looked around at the tan walls seeing a bvb poster and all the memories of last night came flooding back in my mind and as if on cue my stomach lurched and my head throbbed.

" Jesus Christ" I whispered grabbing my head as I looked at the clock that sat on the bedside table.

10:45 am

I groaned and swung my feet over the bed onto the warm carpet. I slowly stood up and instantly the room became dizzy. I grabbed onto the wall and balanced my self before letting go and making my way to the door.

As I walked past the mirror my reflection stopped me from moving any further.

My eyes looked hallow and dark and there was a bruise under my left eye from will smacking me along with a red welt on my cheek. Along my jaw was a purple bruise from his hand , I looked a mess.

I groaned again and opened the door before slowly walking to the stairs , my head pounded, my face and body ached and I was dizzy as I made my way down the stairs slowly gripping on to the rail so i wouldn't fall.

"She's upstairs in the guest room, she looked terrible last night ash I'd just let her rest she probably won't be up for awhile."

I heard Andy's deep voice say as I walked to the doorway of the living room.

Andy was stood up in front Ashley who had his hand tangled on top of his head in his hair which I noticed he did when he was nervous.

Sammi , jinxx,Jake , Ella, Lauren , and cc were standing on the wall paying attention to them while Juliet and Matt were on the couch behind Ashley and Andy.

Matt's eyes locked with mine and he let out a small smile before cutting Ashley off.

" I wouldn't be so sure" he said making everyone's eyes fall on me

I heard a few gasps and Ashley looked at me before rushing towards me quickly.

" oh my god, you are so stupid" he breathed out crushing me in a hug.

I chuckled a little before I wrapped my arms around his waist and laid my head against his chest as he squeezed me.

" I know "

He unwrapped his arms from my cold body before looking at me his mouth immediately dropping open.

" oh my fucking god" he whispered lifting up my chin making me wince at the pressure.

He looked over my face before letting go and sadly rubbing my arms.

" I'll fucking kill him" he snarled and I laughed a little patting his arm.

" I think Matt over there already did last night" I said remembering matt dropping wills nocked out body to the ground.

Ashley smiled down at me before kissing my forehead gently and turning towards the others who were starring.

" thank you again Andy and Matt, I don't even want to think about what he would've done if you hadn't shown up"

" anytime" Andy said and I smiled again but not fully because my head still pounded.

"So you feeling any better?" Juliet asked and I groaned shaking my head walking past Ashley and to the empty couch across from Andy Juliet and Matt.

I fell into it and shut my eyes leaning against the arm and covering my head with my arm.

" no, I still feel like shit" I groaned as I felt the cushions sink down and a set of arms wrap around me and pull me to them.

I smiled and hid my face in Ashley's side as he rubbed my back.

" And you don't know what he gave you right?" Cc asked and I shook my head

" no" I mumbled into Ashley's warm chest moving closer.

" whatever it was I'm guessing he gave her a lot though because she was pretty out of it when we got there" Andy chimed in.

" I know I'm surprised you even remember what happened based on the way you looked when Andy and Matt dragged you in, you looked terrible" Juliet added

" I remeber everything up to when he gave me the drink, from there everything's kind of a messed up blur I just remember him on top of me, my clothes half off and Matt dropping wills body onto the floor" I said and I felt Ashley grip me tighter and place a kiss on the top of my head.

" you didn't kill him right?" I heard jake ask in a half joking, half serious tone.

Matt let out a loud laugh before answering

" no! Even though I should have for touching her like that , I only nocked him out, probably broke his nose and he'll defiantly have a conclusion but no jake , I didn't kill him"

"Aww" I heard Ashley whisper and I nudged his chest feeling him smile against my head that his lips were still lightly pressed against.

" it's a good thing I was away or I would have committed a murder" Ashley said

"I'm with you on that one. " cc added and I smiled against Ashley's chest hugging tighter

" you okay?" He asked into my ear and I shook my head.

" want to go home?" He asked again and I nodded.

" alright, we should probably get her home " Ashley said and I heard the others murmur in agreement before Ashley stood up lifting me off his lap and placing me on the ground making me open my eyes and look around at the blurred room.

" want us to drive you home since you came with the others ash?" Sammi asked and I heard cc start to protest

" why can't they ride with us?"

" because the poor kid looks like death, no offense Jess" she said turning to me and I shrugged.

" and I think the last thing she wants is to sit in a car with you and Ashley together" Sammi said and I nodded feeling Ashley wrap a strong arm around me.

" I agree, a ride would be great sams"

With that Cc and jake both came over and gave me silent hugs before they let go and Ella and Lauren followed their actions.

" call us later and let us know that she's not dead" cc called and Ashley shook his head

" I will"

They waved as they walked out and Andy got up wrapping his arms around me.

" take care of her" Andy said into my neck and I smiled as he let go only to be replaced by Matt.

" I will don't worry" Ashley replied as Matt let go and gave me a small smile placing a soft kiss on my cheek.

Juliet gave me a hug before they said their goodbyes to ash, jinxx and Sammi Ashley wrapped his arm around my shoulders again as we made our way out of the house and towards jinxx's car.

The car ride was silent minus the small chatter between the three of them while I nuzzled weakly into Ashley's side feeling extremely dizzy.I felt hot and cold at the same time and my body just felt an absolute mess.

We arrived at the house and Ashley opened the door silently as I unbuckled.

" call us if anything happens of if she gets worse,and make sure she takes medicine!" Sammi lectured ash from the passenger seat and he laughed helping me slide out.

" yes mom"

Jinxx rolled down his window and gave me a kiss on the head.

" bye Jess,"

" bye jinxx" I said giving him a weak smile.

" thanks for the ride guys! Bye!" Ash called making me cringe from the noise.

We walked in the house and he set the keys down turning to me as he shut the door.

" why don't you go take a shower, get changed and come downstairs and ill take care of you" he said and I chuckled a little not used to this side of him before.

VI nodded my head and turned away from his as I climbed the stairs. I got into my room and patted my pockets realizing I was still in Andy's hoodie and shorts and that I left my phone at his house.

I sighed walking into the bathroom and quickly took Andy's warm clothes off before I turned on the water and stepped in letting the warm beads instantly start to soothe my soar body.

I took a look down at my useless body, my legs had bruises on them alone with terrible purple ones lining my wrist. How could I be so stupid? It's all my fault, I didn't listen and look what happened, I could have gotten rape and I would've deserved every second of it.

My thoughts cut off as the water turned cold and I shut it off peeling the curtain back before pulling a towel around my tired body.

My life was a mess

--

I walked into the living room wearing a pair of plaid pajama pants and one of Ashley's outlaw shirts. Ashley was leaning in the couch with the dogs at his feet.

He turned towards me when I walked on the creaky board a weak smile appearing on his face before he patted the spot next to him.

I lazily walked to it and collapsed in the couch but before I could lay down he grabbed me making me sit up.

" take this or you'll have momma Sammi up in your case" he said handing me a small cup filled with red liquid.

I tipped it in my mouth and immediately gagged at the taste.

" Jesus Christ poison my why won't you" I grumbled before taking a sip of the water and leaning back into Ashley's chest.

I felt him reach behind me grabbing the zebra blanket and tightly wrapped around me making me smile as I felt the medicine start to rush through my veins and numb my body.

" oh .. I forgot to tell you, I left my phone at Andy's.." I mumbled into his chest and I felt him run his fingers through my hair.

" I know he texted me, he's gana stop by soon with it, just relax for now" he said rubbing my hair again and I nodded weakly into his body.

" so what were you thinking last night?" He asked after a few minutes of silence and I let out a small chuckle

" I think it' safe to say I wasn't thinking at all that much" I muttered and I felt him chuckle a little before I sighed.

" I really don't know though, will called and asked me to go to a party but I said no and I called Anthony to ask him to come over but he refused and we got in an argument about Will and it ended up with him breaking up with me and I don't know I was mad, I was hurt and I didn't know what to do so I called will back and he brought me to the party , I was only gana have a few drinks but then he brought me upstairs and when I didn't give him what he wanted he came back with the drink and that's when things went bad" I said getting silent at the end feeling a tear drop fall and land in my lap.

Ashley picked my head up and wiped the tear from my face.

" I know I can't yell at you for drinking at only 16 because trust me I did the same at your age but I really wish you wouldn't" he said and I nodded

" I know ash"

" I just hate the thought of you so hurt like that baby girl, I don't want it to happen again because I can't help but feel responsible if anything bad happens to you." he said and I sighed again

" It won't , it was a stupid mistake , and all my fault no one else's , you all warned me and I didn't listen, no ones to blame but me"

" don't say that, people make mistakes and I hope you'll learn that even though you want a band , agreeing to be in the creepy kids band isn't a good idea."

I chuckled and kissed his cheek.

" I know ash"

He gave me a kiss on the cheek just as my stomach lurched forward and I jumped up from the couch sprinting for the bathroom.

I got there in time to get sick. I hovered over the bowl regaining my vision before standing up and rising my mouth with water as I left the bathroom walking back into the living room seeing Ashley standing up looking worried.

" you okay?"

I shook my head collapsing into the couch and I felt him sit next to me.

" You should be better in a few days, besides it's Christmas break so you don't have to worry about school"

Shit I forgot, it was Saturday and Christmas was Wednesday , we still weren't sure wether or not we were going to our parents or if they were coming here but I did know I only had 1 week left before Ashley left.

" you aren't gana tell mom and dad right?" I asked nervously looking at him and he sighed.

" I guess not but if anything like this happens again I will" he said and I nodded leaning back into him just as the door opened and slammed again making me jump closer to Ashley as my head pounded.

Andy and Matt walked in smiling and I let out a nervous breath releaved it was just them.

" here you go" Andy said placing my phone on the table and I nodded as they took seats in the living room.

" feeling better?" Matt asked and I was about to answer when another wave of nausea coursed through me.

I jumped up from Ashley and sprinted down the hall again making it in time to one again get sick.

I hovered over the bowl feeling the contents burn my throat as I released them making tears form in my eyes. I closed my eyes groaning before flushing it it and standing up again.

I rinsed my mouth out before slowly making my way back into the room and they all looked towards me.


" I'll take that as a yes?" Matt asked with a smirk and I flipped him off moving back to Ashley who took the blanket and wrapped it around me bringing me closer to him as I laid against his lap.

I heard them start to make conversation but I couldn't keep up with it as my mind started to drift off until I finally fell asleep.

Notes